Summer's Winter

Chapter 18 - Tucker

I checked the Advanced Algebra 2 doors and saw that Anise's class is having a problem. Anise placed 6th and Morgan used her daddy's money to take Anise's spot. Anise pushed through me and didn't say hi to me. She used to do that to me. She doesn't say hi to me now. 

Anise looks like she is angry that Morgan took her spot. I wanted to do something but I was feeling full of guilt because I made fun of her and her mom before. Anise changed a lot. Her facial structure is taking shape but, she is still tomboyish. 

I don't know if I should apologize to her. I think she has forgotten everything about me. Teachers came rushing in with a new paper. Anise is jumping up and down while Morgan gets down in tears. Morgan looked at me and flipped me off before she went away. Wow, what a bitch. 

Every day for the past week, I watched Anise get up during seminar just to go to her Math Counts. Every day with Anise gone feels weird. I'm so used to her staring at me. Now I'm the one staring at her seat. Every time she avoided me and I was the one chasing her. I wanted to talk with her. I can't deal with her being mad at me forever. I want our situation to be solved right away. 

I look at her empty seat in the seminar. It reminds me to keep apologizing and see what might happen. The lighting became so much dimmer when she wasn't here. When I look out to Anise's house after school the once vibrant colors seem muted. The air felt colder. I'm used to it being warm even when it is spring. 

Anise stopped coming over to my house with white tulips. It's usually her mom now. People around me have somber expressions after Anise got mad at me. The carefree laughter of summer is now a silent storm. I need to fix this. 

 My mom is getting concerned about Anise and her welfare because Anise never went out of her house after school. Maybe she is too busy with the Math Counts competition. My guilt is heavier than the winter that carried my soul. 

I realized the depth of hurt I caused Anise. I have mailed Anise a letter to meet after school in my backyard. She didn't even show up. One time I looked out of the window, and Anise was burning my letter in her backyard. She tossed my letter into the bonfire and watched it burn. BURNT. 

I found her social media on my phone. I sent her many texts saying I wanted a conversation. She saw them and left them on read. ON READ. I sent and mailed more letters and texted her every day saying I was sorry. I called out her name in the hallways but she was too quick and vanished. 

"Dude, what are you doing?" Scott said to me. 

"Nothing," I said.

"Dude, Anise was the one chasing you. What happened here? You grew soft for her?" Scott said with a harsh tone. 

I paused. Maybe I grew soft for her. 

"Maybe I did. I feel guilty man. The conversation we had in history, she knows about it. She's my neighbor and her mom and my mom are now suddenly like besties. I have to apologize." I said coldly. 

"Good luck, she is going to be mad at you forever," Scott said. 

I fucked up. I hurt her, I was an idiot to think Anise was annoying. After school, I look at the white tulips. I missed the time when Anise would come with a smile and hand me the white tulips my mom ordered. I remember saying only thanks and quickly closing the door on her without saying goodbye. I'm aware of my actions. I know I wasn't the best when it came to Anise going up to me. 

I saw a tennis ball in a bush near Anise's house. I took it. She hasn't come out to practice tennis in a while. I look up at her window. It's covered by her blinds. I remember Anise used to spy on me swimming through that window. I went back inside and put the tennis ball on my shelf of sports cards.

Mom came home early. I went up to the entrance and looked at the white tulips. My mom gave me a grin. I look at the flowers. It reminded me of Anise smiling with those ugly teeth. I look back at my mom. I realized why she smirked. 

"Remember when you said what I see in those flowers?" My mom said. 

"Yeah. I kind of see why you thought of Dad with those flowers" I said. 

"You have been looking at those white tulips recently, did the tulips remind you of someone?" My mom said. 

I look at the flowers. I see Anise holding the flowers and giving me them. 

"Yeah. Um. Mom, can you tell me how you and Dad met again?" I said. 

I wanted closure. I wanted to see what Anise is to me after hearing the story. Me and my mom sat on the couch in the living room. 

"It started with your dad having a huge crush on me. I didn't like him at all. He kind of was a stalker I would say and always make excuses to talk to me. I didn't like his smiley actions and always turned him down. One day I hurt him very badly and made fun of him at school. He never talked to me the same anymore. I chased him down this time. Hey forgave me and then later one day we hung out and we fell in love." My mom said. 

I listen to her story. It sounds exactly like me and Anise's situation. I look at the white tulips at the entrance. Anise's face shows up in my mind.