All Of Our Blues | Avatar Highschool AU

(⁠｡⁠♡Prologue - Feel Our Blues♡⁠｡⁠)

Childhood.

The most bittersweet years of life every child has to go through..

Parents arguing.

Constant rules.

More miscommunication than you can take.

Those moments where you randomly go and bother your siblings out of boredom.

Or the loneliness that comes with being an only child.

Your first fight with your parents that makes you realize it won't be the last.

The late night talks with your siblings in the kitchen or in your room whenever you can't sleep.

Asking each other for advice that you know you won't follow right away.

Having to deal with your parents mood swings.

And those same mood swings are inherited, making you just like them in all the ways you hate.

The pressure of having to live up to your older siblings or feeling like less than them.

The comfort of knowing your siblings are there for you.

Crying in your mother's arms even though she doesn't know she's the reason for your breakdown.

Never really knowing your father since he's there but not really there.

Childhood is Blue.

We say it's blue because even though it's hard, we still try to find comfort in the small moments of happiness we did have.

Blue isn't always meant for the sadness of life, blue can also be home.

Blue can be the sky you gaze at on that one sunny day.

Blue can be that favorite blue dress or shirt you like to wear.

Blue can be the color of your bedroom walls; the walls that watched you cry to your favorite sad songs.

Blue can those eyes of your lover; that deep ocean that has you falling deep into a pool of them and overthinking.

Childhood is Hell.

You're stuck for so long in this loop of pain that you count the days until your 18th birthday, wishing for that dream of freedom to become reality.

You remain scared of the dark because every night your parents would scream, chasing away the peace.

You hate the quiet because whenever it was quiet, that meant another outburst could happen at any moment; for any reason.

The burden of being an older sibling and having to constantly be a parent to your younger siblings.

Then your parents getting upset at you for overstepping that boundary as if they didn't ask that of you in the first place...

That constant feeling of being on edge and anxious when things are going well because you're so used to things being so terrible.

Never being heard when you try your best to express yourself..

I could go on about this hell, but we'd be here too long.

Childhood is heaven.

Or... at least it should be right?

In all honesty I can't barely remember the good times; I'm so fixed on the trauma from it all.

All I can remember is where it went wrong; not the start of the happy song.

I'd love to think of the good times but my heart is struck by these blue rhymes.

Where is my safe blue?

How long do I have to wait for you?

Tell where can I find you?

And if I do...

Will you paint me a baby blue or will I still be stuck dark blue..?

I know I sound crazy don't I?

My thoughts probably make no sense.. but it's how I grew up, it wasn't a choice in this instance.

You said you used to be me if I remember right..

So will you please give me a chance to be a newly painted canvas?

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This is for all the children
who wish to find the people
who heal their wounded inner child.

No your mind may not be tidy,
But it can make for a great story.

All of your blues are beautiful.💙