Dorn: A Star Wars Story

28. Father

"What in the hell do you mean she was shot down?" Thesh was screaming at me when we both finally made it into his office. "Is she alive? Is she safe? We have to get back there!"

My mind was reeling. If Jag had made it down, then I was confident that Shenna had, too. One of my cadets, my kids who followed me here to this miserable place, was on that planet with no idea when Venn was coming back. Coupled with Shenna, the girl I had raised, being down their with him...

I was terrified.

"We have to, I know!" I shouted back. That made Thesh pause. I wasn't the type to raise my voice, but I was gripped with terror. It was choking me. "You think I don't know that? My cadet is down there! Shenna is down there! But I can't just go running back to Yavin half cocked and get my entire team killed!" I sank down into one of the chairs and raked my hands back through my hair. "I need to get them back, Thesh, but I can't risk the fleet."

"Then don't," Thesh turned to me, voice calmer now. I could see the years of command experience kicking in as that steely calm I had grown to be so familiar with slipped back over him. Reason took over as he turned to me, "Take the Summa. Get Shenna and Jag back. If Pryde or Hux have anything to say about it, they can answer to me." He leaned forward on his desk, eyes meeting mine with a fire I hadn't ever seen before, "I am done losing crew members and family to the Empire. I don't karking care if Hux decides he wants to court martial me or send me to his pet Sith. Better men have tried to get me executed and failed. I am authorizing this. Jag is too valuable to lose... but Dorn, promise me one thing."

I looked up at him, "Name it."

"Don't... Don't bring her back here," Thesh shook his head and lowered it. I watched as his fists balled up on his desk, "I don't want her to have to do this. Not with these commanders. She... deserves better. Better than this. Better than Venn. I won't ever ask you for anything again if you do me just this one single favor."

I couldn't say not to Thesh - well, not very often, and this was one of those times. "Of course, Thesh," I nodded as he finally allowed himself to sit down with a grunt, leaning back and stretching out his cybernetically repaired leg. "Leg acting up?"

"It does when I get stressed. I'm thinking about having Dokaas redo it. He's about the only doctor I trust."

"Bad decision," I chuckled as Thesh smirked as adjusted himself in his seat,

"I miss them, you know," he spoke as he rotated his chair in a small semi-circle slowly. I rotated my own seat to look at him and saw him with his elbow up on the table absently rubbing his fingers together, "The old squad, I mean. Aurek and the others." I nodded, but stayed quiet as he leaned back, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. It was the first time I really got to look at the cybernetics along the side of his head. They were placed over disfigured flesh, winding paths and patches of metal glowing with small yellow lights from time to time. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually miss Aurek's stupid comments. I even catch myself turning around to ask Besh and Osk maintenance questions sometimes... It's stupid. I wonder what they would think of us now, if they could see us."

I wondered that, too. Besh and Osk likely would have been losing their minds over the new ships, the new sights and places we had been, but Aurek... I couldn't help but wonder if he would be disappointed that I hadn't taken my chance and run off when I had it, stayed on Coruscant with Shenna and Brea and just lived out my glory years in peace. I also like to think that he understood why I came back. "Well," I rolled my head to look at Thesh and smiled, "someone has to come back and keep you alive, right?"

Thesh looked over at me and snorted, trying and failing to keep a smile off of his face. "Stars, you lot were always insufferable."

"You love us."