your city gave me asthma // Wilbur Soot

twenty-three

I weave through the crowd of people, apologizing as I knock into someone with my suitcase. Finally, I spot a sign with 'Welcome Home Skylar!' written in pink, held by my favorite girls. I laugh as I struggle to run with my luggage, them meeting me halfway, engulfing me in a hug.

"You're home!" Claire yells, none of us caring about the other people around us.

"My baby is home!" Mom says, kissing my face all over.

Maddie jumps with excitement. "And you're never allowed to leave us again."

"Agreed," I tell them with a giggle, taking a breath as they pull away. "I can't believe I'm with all of you again. Finally."

Maddie and Claire each take one of my suitcases as we walk to the exit, my legs grateful to be walking around again. The smallest things are weird to adjust back to, even just driving on the right side of the road. Mom offers to get me a late dinner but I decline, saying I filled myself with snacks on the flight. But the small bags of chips and candy are still full in my backpack.

We reach home after a short drive. Home. The house hasn't changed a bit since I left, which comforts me. It's as if the last six months never happened. I only dreamed of the amazing friends I made and the boy I fell in love with. But does that idea make the pain worse or better?

We all sit in the living room, the girls all excited to hear my memories I haven't had a chance to tell yet. We even look through my photo book, shutting out my tears the entire time. I think they've all got a secret pact to not bring Wilbur up; they haven't said a word about him, and I know how nosey they all are. I appreciate it, though. Just looking at pictures of him nearly makes my heart burst and my walls break down, but I try to remain strong until I'm alone and can cry into my pillow.

"I should head to bed." Mom says with a yawn. "I've got work in the morning. I can finally go to sleep with my baby under my roof again."

I laugh and give her a hug before she walks off. Once we hear the door shut, Maddie and Claire give each other than me a smirk before we all get up and rush down to the basement.

"Oh, I've missed this couch!" I groan, collapsing on it. The soaked in smell of weed hasn't left the cushions since I last lied here. I sit up and watch as Claire pulls our tray from our hiding spot and gets to work. "Maddie, get out."

"Shut up," She groans. "I'm not a baby, Skylar. I can smoke."

"Whatever," I sigh with a grin. As Claire is rolling a joint, I realize I was so  excited to see my family that I forgot to text Wilbur.

Me: hi love!!! sorry i know it's like 2 am for you rn, but i'm homeeee. :)

Wilbur: Don't apologize baby. Glad to hear, but I'd do literally anything to have you back here.

Me: same here :( six weeks tho!

Wilbur: Six weeks. Goodnight darling. I love you so much.

Me: love u moreee ☺️☺️

I lean against Maddie as I light the joint and take the first hit before passing it. "I miss my man so badly."

"If I were dating a guy who looked like that, I would never come back home." Maddie tells me, taking a sip from her water as she coughs.

Claire shakes her head. "Wil is pretty, but Joey is soo hot. If I didn't have Andrew, I'd get you to hook us up."

I roll my eyes and pull a pillow onto my lap. "Yeah, Joey is handsome, but Wilbur is literally the best looking man I've ever seen and ever will see. And trust me, I wanted to stay there."

"Show me a picture of Joey!" Maddie begs. "I didn't get to see him when we visited you."

I sigh and pull out my phone, opening SnapChat. I haven't opened Joey's snap he sent a couple of hours ago when he landed, so I open it for Maddie and Claire to see. It's a simple selfie of him with his headphones around his neck and a straight face.

"Oh, fuck," Maddie says. "I need him. And he's a basketball player?! Super tall and muscular?! And lives a few hours away?!"

"Ew, don't thirst over my friend." I reply to him with a selfie of us three, captioning it 'my sister thinks ur hot'. She punches me for saying that, but it's not like she had a chance either way. I can't deny it, he is extremely handsome. Obviously, no where near Wilbur's level, but still a great looking guy. I've always found athletes hot, but I never told Wilbur that. Joey's arms did feel super nice when he carried me back to my dorm after that one party. I wonder if I had met Joey first if I would've fallen for him instead. Probably, considering he's hot, nice, kind of funny, smart, athletic, muscular, lives nearby... but Wilbur is so much more, his only flaw being that he's an ocean away.

Right when I'm able to change the subject, Joey snaps me back. I open it, a picture of him leaning against his mom with the caption 'she has good taste. my mom said ur pretty'. I reply with just myself, grinning with the caption 'hehe she has good taste too'. I set my phone down to rejoin the conversation with Maddie and Claire, but he's already replied.

Just him; 'so r u doing ok?'

Me and Maddie: 'yeah :) i miss everyone tho'

Joey, taking a sip from a glass of beer; 'me too. glad to be home though'

Claire in the middle of the cough; 'agreed, i missed my people'

Joey; 'haha me too. i need to sleep, but i'm glad ur home and doing ok. have a good night'

Maddie with a kissy face; 'good night!!'

I finally shut my phone off, all of us already faded at this point.

"Girl, he wants you so bad." Claire says, sprawled across the recliner. "Wilbur better watch out."

"No he doesn't," I groan. "I can't stand you guys. I'm gonna go back to London."

"And I'll move to Boston so I can fuck Joey." Maddie giggles, resting on the pillow on my lap.

"Gross!" I yell, quickly being shushed by them. We stay silent for a second, listening for mom's bedroom door, but no sound comes. I lower my voice. "Let's talk about something else."

Eventually, the two girls fall asleep. I drape blankets over them and quietly make my way upstairs and to my room, still as empty as it was when I left, but a new set of sheets and comforter on top. I grin, thankful for my mother's kindness, before slipping under the covers, not bothering to change from my hoodie and sweatpants. Fuck, Wilbur's hoodie. I bring the fabric up to my nose, soaking in his scent, mixed with his cologne and body wash. Immediately, my dry eyes tear up. I've gotten so used to sleeping beside him, and now I'm alone. No one to hold me, stroke my hair, kiss the back of my neck. I'm all alone with no affection for six months. I've had endless kisses and hugs and skin touching for so long, and now I have to go without it for so long? Already, I feel extremely touch deprived. God, I'm pathetic. I can barely live without my boyfriend. My gorgeous, precious, perfect boyfriend. The one who loves me so much, who would take a bullet for me. The one who sang me sweet songs with his sweet voice. I reach up to my neck to feel the necklace he gave me, but it's absent. I left it in the bathroom, and my muscles are too tired to go get it. Instead, I bury my face in his hoodie, letting all of the tears I've been holding in go.

Obviously, I can not fucking handle this.