Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss Oneshots

☆Damn It- Striker x Andrealphus

Plot: During the Harvest Moon Festival while the IMP are looking for Striker, Moxxie stumbles upon something he wishes he could unsee

Extra Info: Stolitz as a little side ship

A/N: Sorry this is a little short, but sometimes a short, funny chapter is needed

Requested By: spiderlilly19

~☆~

"Damnit, where the hell did he go?" Blitzø said as he rushed around, looking what seemed like everywhere for Striker.

"I don't know, but we need to find him quickly before he kills the prince," Moxxie said, his mind occupied with both finding Striker and worried about Millie. 

Blitzø growled and gripped his gun tighter. Like hell he was going to let some fucking cowboy kill his boyfriend! Sure, he's hot and has a beautiful horse that Blitzø wants to steal, Stolas is more important, and that's final. He'll blow anyone's brains out that he had to just to keep Stolas safe. He had to find Striker, now.

~☆~

Striker rushed up the stairs to the room where he would shoot Stolas, though he wasn't sure why he was running. He locked those two little imps in the basement and Blitzø was still down there enjoying the festival. Maybe he could slow down and relax a bit. Though he did also have to make sure that Stolas wouldn't go anywhere, but he was busy as well. Yeah, let's slow down a bit.

He gripped his gun tightly as he opened the door to the room, stopping in his tracks at the sight before him. 

"Andrealphus?! The hell are you doing here?!" He yelled. Not that he was upset, it was just unexpected. Andrealphus usually never bothers him on a job. Why now?

Andrealphus chuckled and stood from his spot on the bed, "am I not allowed to visit my boyfriend anywhere else than my palace?" 

Striker sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "It's not that, I'm just working right now." Andrealphus crouches down a bit to be eye-level with Striker.

"You're always working. Surely one little job is fine to ignore," he said, gently taking the gun from Striker's hand and putting it to the side.

"Babe, this is a job for your sister, isn't that important?" 

Andrealphus laughed, "hell no. She can deal with Stolas by herself if she wants him dead immediately. Besides, wouldn't you rather want to be with me?" He placed his fingers under Striker's chin to lift his head a bit and get closer to his face. 

Striker could feel his breath on his face, which made him realize just how close Andrealphus was. He now knew exactly what this was about, exactly what Andrealphus wanted. He smirked and placed his hand on his boyfriend's cheek.

"You're dealing with her after this, I'm not taking the blame," Striker said, leading his boyfriend over to the bed and pushing him down onto it so he was beneath him.

"Oh please, this festival is taking forever. I'm sure you'll be able to finish the job after this. But if not, then I'll make sure Stella doesn't open her mouth to you," he grabs Striker's shirt and drags him down closer to him, "now no more talking. Give me what I want."

Striker smirked, "how demanding, I'll ignore it for now." 

~☆~

"Okay, let's just split up. You head that way, I'll head this way," Blitzø said. Moxxie nodded and the two separated. 

Moxxie didn't really know where Striker would be, he just assumed he would be higher up so he could snipe Stolas easier. Therefore, he just headed up to the highest point he could. He kicked open every door on the way up, not wanting to leave any stone unturned. He honestly was about to give up as he made it to the top floors, but he found Striker soon enough, just not how he expected to find him. 

He kicked open the door and held his gun out, only to put it down immediately. Striker and Andrealphus instantly stopped what they were doing and turned their heads towards Moxxie.

Striker was on top of Andrealphus, who had his arms and legs wrapped around Striker. Striker's hat and jacket were on the floor as well as Andrealphus's crown. 

"Damit," Andrealphus said, instantly annoyed. 

Moxxie was just left standing there, stunned. "W-what the-"

"Shut your fucking mouth," Striker said harshly, slowly crawling off of his boyfriend.

Soon enough, Blitzø came running in. "What the hell are you doing, Mox?! We have to find Striker, why the fuck are you just standing he-" his sentence was cut short when he saw the reason. 

"What the fuck?" Blitzø said, not super shocked. "I definitely didn't expect that." At least he wasn't stunned like a deer in headlights and made sure to grab Striker's gun before he could get ahold of it. "Well at least I'm not the only one getting it on with royalty."

Striker sighed and picked up his and Andrealphus's stuff. "I'll fucking kill you if you tell anyone." Striker threatened.

"I wasn't going to tell anyone, I'm just gonna make sure you two get out of here and far away from Stolas," Blitzø said, holding up the gun and pointing it at them. 

Andrealphus sighed, "let's go home, babe. You can deal with this another time. I'm not in the mood to clean blood off of your clothes again." And they immediately left, seeming as though they disappeared into thin air.

"Well," Moxxie said, "that was easy. So, are you really not going to tell anyone?"

"You know me better than that Mox, I'm going to tell Millie and Loona. Though if I want to keep my secret, I'll play nice and keep his," Blitzø said, handing Moxxie the gun and dragging the still stunned possum man out of the building. 

"I need to bleach my eyes," Moxxie said.

"You and me both, Mox."