((Includes: Sauron, Saruman, and Smaug.
Request, and enjoy!
This was "requested" by EmilyMaurer . Thank you!))
Sauron: we need to build up our portfolio's for the villain convention
Sauron: so, i thought that we could come up with ideas together
Saruman: okay - how about "the most cunning"
Sauron: obviously me, i mean i was able to convince you to start an army of isengard. you were basically my puppet
Saruman: huh, i think the "most cunning" should go to me
Saruman: i'm a wizard after all
Smaug: i am a genius. that's all that needs to be said
Sauron: yeah, a genius who have away his one weakness to a hobbit
Saruman: ^^ exactly
Saruman: but i came up with "most cunning", so that has to count for something
Sauron: fine, we'll both put down "cunning", instead of "most cunning"
Smaug: next, who has caused the most destruction?
Smaug: i'd just like to point out that i have burnt several cities to the ground, you know
Sauron: haha, nice try
Sauron: my armies have done the most damage to middle earth
Saruman: need i remind you that it was MY army
Sauron: fine, we'll both put down "destructive"
Sauron: i think we should add one more
Saruman: what do you have in mind?
Smaug: who is the best fire-breather?
Smaug: i vote for myself
Sauron: i don't know
Sauron: have you seen saruman when he was apart of the traveling circus? he could breathe fire... it was awesome!
Saruman: good point, but don't ever mention my days in the circus again. sorry smaug, i think this one might go to me
Smaug: I NEED TO PUT DOWN SOMETHING FOR THE VILLAIN CONVENTION
Smaug: PLUS I'M THE DRAGON HERE
Saruman: fine, you can also add one more to your portfolio
Smaug: what?
Sauron: "most grumpy"
Smaug: ...
YOU ARE READING
Texting with Lord of the Rings
FanfictionA light-hearted book in which the famous characters use the modern form of sending messages - texting.