Gollum meets a girl, LoverGurl927, on a dating website and starts texting her.
Warning: If you can't handle "improper" use of language, you probably shouldn't read the texts. Therefore, please refrain from correcting me if I make a mistake. Thank you!
Gollum: i mean i'm not rich
Gollum: after all i've dedicated my life trying to find the one thing i truly loved
LoverGurl927: awww have you found her? <3
Gollum: but unfortunately that was thrown into the fire of mount doom, so i'm stuck with you
LoverGurl927: oh
Gollum: don't worry though
Gollum: i bet you have elvish written all over you!
LoverGurl927: i think you mean fine
Gollum: no but you probably look good in gold
LoverGurl927: I guess
Gollum: and you're so cold that when i cast you into an ordinary fire, you don't burn
LoverGurl927: look I think you're still obsessed with your ex
LoverGurl927: and whatever weird things you guys did with fire
Gollum: you're my precious don't go!
Read at 11:03 by LoverGurl927
Gollum: stupid hobbitses, they always ruin everything
It'll get better, eventually, I promise. Anyways, do you guys have any recommendation for what character you want me to do next?
Yes, you.
What character do you want me to write about next?
YOU ARE READING
Texting with Lord of the Rings
FanficA light-hearted book in which the famous characters use the modern form of sending messages - texting.
