Texting with Lord of the Rings

Sam and Frodo

Enjoy!
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Frodo: i need a new job

Sam: why

Frodo: i haven't had one since i was on a commercial for midgets

Frodo: have you ever wondered what tall people feel like? try the new and improved "shorty man" stilts!

Sam: wow. I feel bad for you

Frodo: the stilts really do work though

Sam: okay? good to know, i guess

Sam: you can always work with me

Frodo: i refuse to dress like a potato at George's potato barn

Sam: at least it's honest work

Sam: well, where have you worked at before?

Frodo: i used to be a waiter

Sam: really

Frodo: yeah, but I don't want to go through that again

Frodo: apparently if you stand on a table and start singing with an ale in your hand it's considered "disruptive"

Sam: i have no clue as to what job would be good for you

Frodo: on second thought, there's an opening as a ring-bearer

Sam: why would someone need a ring-bearer for their wedding

Frodo: no, my tasks involve taking the ring to mordor, destroying it, and not getting killed

Frodo: so, it's not that bad

Sam: what are the perks of the job?

Frodo: i get a free eagle ride once in a while and my retirement plan allows me to go to the undying lands

Sam: that sounds pretty good

Frodo: i think i'll call in about it