I Know What You're Thinking

Chapter 1

I'm lying in my bed. I should be asleep.

But i'm not.

There's something you should know about me.

I'm not normal. 

I'm strange.

I'm a being science may never hope to understand.

I want to trust you.

I want to tell you what i've never told anyone.

I've never even uttered the words to myself.

Then it would feel too real, though I suppose I already know it's real. I guess.

Who even are you?

A voice my crazed mind made up?

An imaginary friend if I was five years old I suppose.

I'm not five anymore.

I'm eighteen.

I think you are a random thing my mind made up subconsciously.

Normally that would be concerning, but i've been lonely lately.

So even though you're not truly real, i'm going to call you my friend.

"YOU IDIOT! I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW!" A loud voice cuts the silence, pulling me from the black hole that is my thoughts. 

"OH SO I'M THE IDIOT? OF COURSE! I'M ALWAYS THE PROBLEM!" A different voice yells. My parents are fighting. Again. I roll over and pull a small notebook out of the drawers of my bedside table. I add a tally mark to an ever growing list. 

According to said list, this is their seventh fight this week.

It's Tuesday.

Their loud voices mix with the voices swirling in my head. It's too loud. Way too loud. 

Now I suppose I should tell you what's wrong with me.

Don't laugh at me.

Promise?

Who am I kidding you don't even exist. You can't laugh at me if you don't exist.

I can read minds.

Don't scoff. Just listen.

I can, I swear. I know what everyone is thinking, I know secrets before i'm told them, I know every present i've ever gotten before i've been given it. It's always so loud in my head. When i'm near people, their thoughts drift into my mind. I'm working on shutting them out, but it's hard.

Very, very, very hard.

Like right now. My head is throbbing. My parents continue yelling as their angry thoughts flow into my mind.

I hate this man. No clue why I married him. 
That was my mother.

I want a divorce.
That one was my father.

The thoughts continue on like this. I shove a pillow against my ears to try and silence everything but it's all too loud.

I HATE HIM! I WISH I'D NEVER MET HIM! THEN MY LIFE WOULDN'T SUCK!

That thought from mum makes me gasp. If she'd never met dad, I wouldn't exist. Although with me being an utter freak show she probably does regret having me.

Even though my parents don't know I can read minds, they know I have issues. Lots of them. For example, every time i'm in a crowded place, I can't talk, sometimes I think i'm going to be sick. Sometimes I am sick. They think its social anxiety. I know that it's me being in a crowded space and being unable to think straight.

Another example is that I come home from school every day, exhausted. I come into my room, shut the door, turn off the lights and just sit there, in silence. They think it's depression. I think it's a coping mechanism.

At least that's what I used to do. Now home is just as loud as anywhere else. The yelling continues.

"I HATE YOU!" Dad yells. Mum responds to this with a long line of curse words.

"I WISH I'D NEVER MET YOU!" Mum screeches.

"THE FEELING IS MUTUAL!" Dad slams a door. Mum hits the door yelling at him to not run away from the argument, saying he's a chicken and that he must be scared of being defeated by a woman.

"IF WE'D NEVER MET MAYBE I WOULD BE HAPPY! MAYBE I WOULD BE ON A BEACH DRINKING SOME SORT OF ALCOHOL. BEST OF ALL I WOULD BE ALONE!" Mum screams. I wince as Dad's new livid thoughts crash into my mind like a tsunami on mum's imaginary beach. 

"I need to get out." I whisper to the dark. I can't think, my vision is blurry and I can't see. I'm too overwhelmed by the hurricane inside my mind and between my parents that I can barely breathe. Somehow, I manage to shove shoes onto my feet and I run to the front door. Mum and Dad are too busy yelling to notice me.

I barrel out the door and I begin to run. I don't know where i'm going but my feet seem to. I run until I can't anymore. I've gone past all of the houses, past all of the shops. I've run into bushland, there is no-one here. I sit down on the dirt and take a deep breath. Silence fills my mind and I sit there enjoying it. My headache is still here, but it's better now that i'm outside.

Now you know my daily struggles.

Every.

Single.

Day.

I can't keep living like this. I'm going to end up a reclusive hermit who lives in the middle of no-where just so I don't have to deal with people thinking. Unless I figure this out. 

You are probably wondering whose thoughts I can read. 

Basically whenever someone is within 600m of me I can hear their thoughts.

It's frustrating.

I hear a quiet whisper.

"Hello?" I call quietly. No response. It must have been the wind.

I settle back against a tree when suddenly my mind is overloaded.

Whoever this is, they must be drunk. These thoughts make no sense. At all. They overlap and twirl and twist around my mind. They scream at me and I try to push them away. Whoever it is must be in a group because before long more people's thoughts run into my brain. This is louder than at home. I hear rustling and jump behind the tree.

A group of at least 30 people come around the corner, they are all girls wearing short dresses that shimmer in the moonlight. One of them has a badge saying 'Bride-To-Be." This is some strange hens night. Their thoughts attack my brain cells and I pray that they will go soon. 

My vision swirls and it takes everything in me to stay awake, to not faint. More people join the group and that means more minds. My head feels like it might explode.

Finally, the almost-bride says "Lets keep going." I almost sigh with relief but as they begin to walk away, someone's thoughts tell me that one of the girls is handing around alcohol. Before they have existed the 600m radius, their thoughts become more crazed, there are more of them and they hurt my head even more.

My breathing is ragged and I struggle to stay upright. Finally the girls walk far enough away and my mind is clear once more. I sit against the tree for hours, then decide that surely my parents are asleep. I tread slowly back to my house and open the door quietly. It's silent.

I'm grateful that I don't get people's thoughts when they are sleeping and that it appears that all of my neighbours are sleeping too. I clamber back into bed and fall asleep before my head hits the pillow. It's 4AM.

A/N

How do you like it so far?

Thank you so much for reading!

Also, in case you got confused, when there is italics, it is the thought that she is reading, and the writing below it is what she thinks about said thought.

Have a great day!

- blue_budgie52