❤️‍🩹 Punch didn't hurt as much as the one which broke my heart ❤️‍🩹 KIMCHAY AU

6. Mouths

It didn't take long for Kim to reach the house, he knew well, and to find Porchay at the same place, under the window, terrified. He had never seen guns this close before, he had never been this close to death, or he might have been, he thought, seeing Kim coming.

"Chay...you're okay?" Kim asked, kneeling in front of him.

Porchay nodded. He nodded quietly, more tears coming from his eyes.

The violence never felt violent for the mafia boy who was raised for this, it was his education. He was witnessing how danger, how guns, how killing could break the softness of someone's pupils, making it shake and drown. He had seen and ignored the ones of his enemies, he couldn't ignore those ones. It was piercing through his heart and his flesh was moving at the rhythm of the emotions dancing.

Kim wanted to crush him in his arms. He wanted to reassure the boy by the most skin to skin action. He needed to reach for him, and he didn't even think or analyse anything, he was, on the contrary of his everydays, living in the moment. Reluctant at the idea of hugging, his rejection too recent, Kim caressed his hair with a tenderness he was only recognizing and meeting with again the boy's gaze.

"You're okay Porchay. I am here." He said calmly and it worked.

Porchay had a hard time but he still leaned against that hand and let this touch soothe his panic. It felt like an obligation, he was the only one to know about it, the only one that could help him, and yet he had like that hand. He had missed it.

"W-what..." Porchay began, Kim's hand leaving his head. It felt empty now. "What can we do?"

"The main house already knows what happened...they will take care of it."

"They will?" Porchay sarcastically asked. "And what will we do?"

"Chay...we can't do anything..."

"We can't ?" Porchay stood up, feeling his heart torn up, his brother was outside in danger because of them and Kim didn't want to do anything. "What are you useful for then?"

Kim's face twitched. "You don't get it!" He stood up too.

"Then EXPLAIN to me!" Porchay screamed, his rage coming back. He was between his love and his hate, towards the same man he loved and couldn't stand now, still missing his warmth he tasted for a short time.

"That's a whole different level! Multiple men! It's not just a kidnapping! They are trained! You won't last five seconds!"

"Then go! Can't you go?"

"Me? Alone! There? You want me dead or what?" His voice became even louder.

"Yes! To save my Hia!" Porchay screamed out of control, not thinking.

Silence. Blank.

No words. Only their heavy breath.

Kim's face broke down. His eyes were down, like cat's ears, his mouth stayed upon. His heart clenched. Wishing upon his own death, to save someone else, using his own life to protect someone else's chest. The sword was deep into his guts, deep hurting and scratching his darkest emotions, bringing them above. He was meant to be alone, he was nothing important, just playing a game with his father. He always had felt unloved but this was another level. Even when Tankhun and Kinn were here, he always had felt lonely, and hard to believe that he could be loved, but they said it, this was another level. It slapped him, it already killed him. Porchay. How much Porchay meant to him was writing on his face, displayed like an object, not useful now. He would have cried if he hadn't been as strong as a rock, at least he tried. Kim wasn't sure about his emotions before, and now it felt weird that Porchay knew everything. He didn't know what it was but he could accept better that Porchay was special for his heart. He could. And now it was clear, it was a mirror showing his own state, it was love blooming.