❤️‍🩹 Punch didn't hurt as much as the one which broke my heart ❤️‍🩹 KIMCHAY AU

43. Odd 🪦

(Hiii🥰💗✨️ how are you ? Sending you love 🫂✨️ and comfort and warmth and all you need 🫠💗 next chapter is here and I am so excited for you to read about the last arc 🥹 wishing you a good time ✨️ take care 💗  love you 💗)

Kim felt weirdly emotional. He felt that his feet were shaking under the hypothesis of what could have happened and what arrived instead of his own death. His breath, the blood in his veins, the way everything was still working well inside happened thanks to Big’s death. Without his death, Kim might have been the one in that grave, or even Porchay. Porchay. This idea was always freezing his whole body, death was so close to them, death tried to befriend their soul but it didn’t end this way, but death still touched them. It touched Kim in a way he would never think it would. Big was a bodyguard, a bodyguard in the middle of other bodyguards. He saw a lot of those men dying, it didn’t phase him at all. Not at all. Losing a life was an everyday facility for them but not now. Kim discovered that he was now more worried and careful for his own life on that orphanage mission and now he felt that he was more conscious of the danger. Too much consciousness.

The silence around that grave was so heavy, but so loud because of the sound, the bullets which ended his life, which saved their own.

Kim sighed.

He let go of Porchay’s hand, the love of his life who didn’t say anything either. He let go of it but he pushed the boy in his arms, he hugged him tightly while looking at the grave, his eyes not moving at all from the name written on it.

“Thank you.” Kim whispered, his eyes expressing way more than his voice and he hoped that somewhere the bodyguard could hear him.

—-

“Are you alright?” Porchay asked, putting his hand on Kim’s knee in the car.

“I guess…” Kim answered without thinking first but he realised that he was about to make Porchay be worried about him. It felt even weirder. Kim always kept most of his thoughts to himself because he didn’t want to have any attention on him from the rest of the world, even his brothers. He preferred to be in charge of his own emotions, but not now, not now at all. He gulped down a small amount, his heartbeat feeling strange. The past weeks had changed him so much but the boy only clearly realised now what had profoundly moved inside of him. “I mean-”

Porchay’s hand caressing his neck and his sweet gaze stopped him from excusing himself. “It’s okay…you can just guess P’Kim, I am here.”

Kim smiled tenderly, he bit his lips. Kim felt that his whole chest was warm. He loved that emotion too much, so much, he didn’t want to think about it. Porchay’s hand in his own, kissing it softly, one finger, two fingers. They exchanged a heated gaze.

“Chay...I never had been…this…this aware of who I want to be…I may be a person…”

Porchay smiled, he smiled with a soft pout, finding Kim adorable, finding that he was lucky to be able to discover more sides of his Kim, more sides of his lover. 

“We are…we are.” He whispered, pulling on Kim’s shirt to bring him closer. Closer of him, of his existence, of his body, of his lips, closer of them, together, alive, trying their best, surviving, thanking life for what they still had. Kissing him softly, mouths brushed on each other’s, mouths meeting in delight, in taste of fireworks exploding in their whole bodies.

“P-P’Kim-” Porchay pulled away when Kim caressed his waist with a tendentious softness. His boyfriend stopped, raising his head with an open mouth like the cutest human being could. “We have our Princess to get.” Porchay giggled lightly and Kim nodded. He agreed, they had their Princess to take home. He quickly pecked Porchay before getting back on his seat, driving to their Princess.