❤️‍🩹 Punch didn't hurt as much as the one which broke my heart ❤️‍🩹 KIMCHAY AU

29. Family 🔥

(HI 🥺✨️💗 How are you? I hope so well 🫂 we are entering the second arc of this fic 🥰 I hope that you will love it 🥺 take care 💗 love you💗✨️)

"I am...sorry..." Kinn murmured, coming back to his private room. They all ate together on the sofa, not really talking, just exchanging, not ready to talk about what happened. It looked simple to just breathe when Kim was safe now though there was something absolutely heartbreaking in their pupils. Tankhun didn't tell how worried he was, hearing everything but not being able to do anything. Kinn didn't say how much he still felt guilty about this. Porsche didn't even want to think of what they lived or what was his Chay living.

They just needed to eat and to stay in a comfortable silence, with some comments about the pizza they ordered.

--

Tankhun was taken back to his side of the house by Kinn.

"How do you feel?" He asked, staying near the door.

"Bad. Awful. But not that bad. I guess that I am kinda getting used to drama." He smiled ironically.

"Don't...don't stay alone if you feel too bad, or even not too bad." Kinn said, and it felt weird to talk about mental health with his older brother but he felt that he was the only one able to be here for him now. Kim was sleeping, everyone was preoccupied by someone or something. Kinn wanted to show him that he was there too.

"That's kind. Kinn but don't you have better things to do than to be worried about me?" He pouted, looking sad for him.

"What do you mean..." Kinn murmured, less comfortable about talking of his personal issues.

"Porsche was too far away from your body for things to be well."

Kinn kept his silence and yet Tankhun's nod at his door gave him all the meaning he needed, all the courage he had to gather to come back in the room to a Porsche he had helped to lay down on the bed and to say those words he had so much struggle to let out.

-

Kinn took a place next to his boyfriend, looking at him but not touching or being too close.

"Sorry for what?" Porsche asked, as he expected not melting first but arguing back and he liked that this attitude was pushing him to analyse and to take in perspective his own behaviour.

"For...ruining our dates...for imposing Tawan around you...for not telling you what I was thinking...for putting you in jail...for the kidnapping...for that wound..." He brushed his hand over the bandage.

"For...making me feel...insecure?" Porsche asked back, his lips pouting and his pupils trembling. He had no idea if he should show how desperate this made him feel. He didn't doubt that Kinn wouldn't see him as weak but the past hours had shaken his trust, he had a hard time, and he hoped that sharing this would give Kinn the hint that he was strong but not unbreakable, he was understanding but not blindly just following whatever his boyfriend would say.

"Porsche...I am sorry...I am so sorry." He finally hugged him before letting go and sincerely looking for his gaze. "I promise you that nothing had pushed me out of my love for you...through everything that happened, you were here." He took his boyfriend's hand to put it on his own heart.

"It's not easy you know? I saw how you just fucked around man after man...I saw how what you lived made you heartless...and how you had preferred to attack first and not let your emotions be seen...your anger...your anger isn't something I can stand when I did nothing at all." Porsche realised that he had a lot to say, a lot to let out that was never out. "One word from you...only one and I can either die, be tortured or kicked out of here. I am not telling that I think you will do it. But don't take my trust as something you gained and wouldn't need to work on...I am not to be used..."