It was chillier than it should have been the morning I went to see Danny. The sun was shining, and not a single cloud was in the air but inside I felt so cold. So, so cold. Lydia had some errands to run but would be joining me again later. She seemed more tired than usual, and when she tried to speak to me her eyes looked like they were searching for the right time to say something. I don't know what's on her mind but there's already so much on mine that I don't think I have the luxury of worrying. Not now. But at least this visit to Danny will ease my heart of some things. I took with me some snacks that I knew he would be missing and some comics.
In the hospital bed, he looked exactly how I remembered him if not more lively. A smile plastered on his face while sheepishly speaking to a nurse, his dimples on full display, and his eyes twinkling brightly.
"Flirting this early in the morning?" I asked. He jumped slightly but winced from the pain in his arm. He gave me a weak smile.
"Morning Lainey, and it's never too early. Besides, I can't help it if I'm a natural charmer," he said while attempting to flick his hair with his good hand. I should note, he still failed miserably. Unwillingly, I let out the first true laugh in a while which placed a more satisfying expression on his face. "Come, sit."
I moved a chair next to his bed and placed my things on the floor but before I sat down, I reached in to give him a gentle but big hug. "I miss you. Recover soon please."
"I will, I will. Now come on, did you bring me anything sugary and teeth rotting or do I have to send you back?"
I rolled my eyes but took out the goods I brought for him. I took a bar of chocolate for myself. I needed both the sweetness and the energy.
"So," he said between mouthfuls of SweeTarts, "how have you been holding up?"
He popped another candy into his mouth as he awaited my response. I hesitated, contemplating how to navigate the conversation. The air in the room felt heavier, and I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that lingered beneath the surface.
"Been better," I replied, forcing a smile. "It's just... everything is so confusing right now. With my dad gone, and all this... chaos."
Danny's expression softened, and he reached out to gently squeeze my hand. "I know, Lainey. It's a lot to take in. But we'll get through it together, okay?"
I nodded, appreciating his attempt to comfort me. Yet, as I looked into his eyes, a nagging doubt lingered. Was he really involved in my father's death, as much as it seemed impossible? The conflicting emotions within me intensified, a war between my heart and the unsettling suspicions.
"I can't believe someone would do this to my dad," I mumbled, half to myself. "He was a good man, Danny. Why would anyone want to hurt him?"
He sighed, his gaze dropping to the hospital sheets. "Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. It's an unfortunate reality."
I stared at him, searching for any sign of guilt or deception. The silence between us grew, punctuated only by the soft beeping of the machines in the room.
"Danny," I began, my voice trembling slightly, "do you... do you know anything more about what happened that night? Like maybe who attacked him, if it was Jordan or otherwise."
His eyes met mine, and for a moment, I thought I detected a flicker of unease. But it vanished so quickly that I questioned whether I had imagined it.
"I told you everything I know, Alaine. I found your dad like that, and I did what I could to protect him but it was too late. I didn't see the face of the spineless coward that done it but I swear if I find out I won't hesitate to get you the justice you need."
I nodded, but my mind was a whirlwind of doubt. "I want to believe you, Danny. But there's something... something doesn't add up. I can't shake this feeling that there's more to the story."
He squeezed my hand again, offering a reassuring smile. "Please Alaine, trust me. I would never do anything to hurt you or your dad. I care about you too much."
As he spoke those words, I wished I could bury the doubts gnawing at me. Yet, the image of my father's lifeless body haunted my thoughts, and I couldn't ignore the nagging suspicion that Danny was hiding something. It wasn't like I said I thought he hurt my dad, but he brought it up himself. It just felt really off.
At these thoughts, I found another uncomfortable topic to ask him about.
"So, uh, Maxine's been visiting you a lot. How are things with her?" I looked down. I didn't want him to look me in the eyes. What if he saw how I felt? I didn't want that, but I did want answers. But he was silent for a bit, looking at me with an expression I couldn't discern.
"Well, she keeps coming by even though I would rather she spent time with you. You need her more than I do anyway." I looked up at him. Was that really all?
"And when she's here, is it nice?"
"Nice? What do you mean Lainey?"
"Like, do you feel happy that she visits you or not," I huffed, in half frustration, but more so in humiliation. Why do boys need everything to be spelled out for them?
"Oh. Well, it's not bad but she can get a bit weird sometimes. I feel like she might be sick, half the time she's here she's as red as a tomato. Check on her will you?"
I didn't say anything, only nodded. He cannot be serious. Red as a tomato? I want to scream at him. At my lack of response, he opened his mouth again. I swear if another idiotic sentence exited his oral orifice I might have to shove the nearest vase down it.
"Is there a specific reason you're asking? It doesn't make you feel uncomfortable or anything that she visits me right?"
My throat felt tight and I didn't think I could formulate a reply. "No. Why would it? I don't care if she visits. I think it's great if she does. In fact, she should visit you even more-"
"Lainey, breathe." He placed a tentative, but bandaged hand on mine. His eyes, his stupid brown eyes with ridiculously long lashes, searched mine. "You can tell me anything you know. What is it?"
I seriously don't think I can breathe. Not when he looks at me like that. Oh god, what do I say?
"If, hypothetically, it did bother me, what would you, in this hypothetical situation, say or do or react." I held my breath. But he just chuckled.
"Well, in this hypothetical scenario, I may have to play favorites and lessen my hangout time with Maxine." His eyes shone and my heart lifted. "Instead, maybe I could see more of my candy dealer. Hypothetically, of course."
I smiled. A genuine smile. "Sounds inviting."
The conversation steered towards lighter topics, discussing mundane things to distract both of us from the heavy reality looming over our lives. As we chatted, I observed him closely, searching for any hints or clues. Deep down, I yearned for him to be innocent, for my feelings to be justified. But the unsettling feeling persisted, casting a shadow over our interaction. Still, my happiness in this moment at his words, hypothetical or not, was too great. I wanted to enjoy the relief he gave me. My father's funeral was tomorrow and my worries could wait till then.
Lydia's words echoed in my mind—her determination to uncover the truth. Maybe she was right. Maybe I needed to dig deeper, to unravel the layers of secrets concealed within this tragedy. As the room filled with laughter and the rustling of comic book pages, I couldn't shake the relentless urge to unveil the mysteries that shrouded my father's death, even if it meant facing uncomfortable truths about the person I cared for deeply.
