wilbur soot x y/n

Chapter thirteen

Content Warnings:Eating disorder, mention of suicide, suicidal thoughts, cutting, overall bad mental health

I sat myself down into my chair while taking one of the last sips of my drink before pulling up my mask. My mouth was still as dry as ever and Wil wasn't at the room in the moment. He was making Mac and cheese for if I needed an intermission.

I finally clicked the record button and took a deep breath.

"Hello, YouTube!" I said, waving my hands at the webcam and pulling my mask up a bit more. "If you don't know, there's been this tweet showing proof that I do harm myself due to the fact that my sleeves slipped down during a stream. I decided to make a video explaining everything to you guys because I trust you all and I feel like it's your right to know."

I took another deep breath and carried on. "When I was eighteen I was diagnosed with a pretty bad eating disorder and that's one reason why I've never eaten anything on purpose on camera. Everything makes me sick to my stomach. Except Mac and cheese, for some reason. I can handle that pretty well." I smiled, hoping that it would transfer to my eyes.

"When I was twenty my mental health sort of dropped a lot due to one of my closest friends committing suicide and it really fucked me up in the head." I revealed, a few tears already slipping around my eyes. "I met Wil like three years later but I was still pretty messed up and Wil definitely helped me so, so much with all of that stuff and being able to help my mental health climb back up to a closer point to average than it probably ever has been."

Wil creaked open the door a bit and set down a bowl filled with my favorite food just out of camera. I smiled and this time I was sure that it went to my eyes. He smiled back and grabbed my hand to hold it.

"That's sort of when I began to harm myself," I added, taking a deep breath of air to try to stop my lungs from seemingly close in. "My eating disorder also got a lot worse than it ever had been seeing as my rapidly declining mental health was linked with a disorder like that."

"I remember Wil was practically my only real friend then minus someone from school and he was the one person I called when I was going to overdose." I confessed while taking a shaky breath. "Being the amazing friend he is, he helped me get back on my feet and I moved into his apartment so we could keep an eye on each other."

"Around the age of twenty-two, I discovered that another one of my childhood friends committed suicide as well. We had gone to high school and university together and that's why I stopped streaming and posting for a bit. If you're from like two or three years ago, you may remember that." I added, and then pressing the 'end recording' button seeing as I needed and food break.

Wil wrapped his arm around my shoulder and gently kissed the top do my head. "You're doing amazing, love." He muttered, trying to look away while I took a few small bites from my Mac and cheese.

After a few moments I pulled my mask back up and continued to record.

"Once more, my mental health decreased and I didn't leave the house for probably three months. That's when Wil grabbed me again and pulled me back up from the depths of my mind, like the amazing person he is." I said, feeling Wil's grip on my hand grow tighter, perhaps in a protective way.

"I've still been struggling with my mental health a lot, seeing as two of my closest friends committed suicide but I think I've come along pretty well since last year and I am genuinely so happy to have such an amazing and mostly non-toxic fanbase like you guys." I sighed, beginning to wrap it up. "I'm super sorry how sad the video was today but I feel like all that needed to be addressed seeing as it was an incredibly important, albeit sad, part of my life that you all needed to know about."

I finally ended the recording and collapsed into Wil's arms. Tears that have been held in for the past day were released.

After probably ten minutes of being comforted by Wil, I finally sat up and took a huge breath.

"You feel better about everything now?" Wil asked, patting my back a bit. I nodded a bit and grabbed my spoon to take a large bit of Mac and cheese.

"Could you maybe edit this instead of me?" I asked, wiping tears from my eyes. Wil nodded and grabbed my hand to kiss it gently.

"Let's go downstairs and turn something on. What show sounds good?" Wil asked, grabbing my somehow nearly empty bowl of Mac and cheese. I thought for a moment and decided on one.

"(Favorite show)?" I asked, climbing out of my chair. Wil nodded and nearly tripped down the stairs, causing me to laugh a bit. "Also, don't post the video or anything until Eret gets here. I still haven't told him." I insisted while sitting down on the couch.

"Don't worry, I won't post it until you give the okay." Wil reassured. I finally was able to sink into the chair, holding on tight to my favorite stuffed animal that Wil had thrown at me.

I nodded slowly and began to turn on my favorite show. I watched it for around three hours before Wil came in the room to reminding me that we had to leave for the airport seeing as Eret's plane would be here in forty minutes or so.

"Righty, let's go meet your best friend." Wil said, grabbing onto my hand before we set off for the airport, to go meet my best friend.