✓ TOO REAL TO DENY | SUNGHOON

2 - Office Mess

Y/N'S POV

When I step inside the office, all eyes turn towards me. It's my first day at the tech startup, and the nervous energy that had accompanied me at the party seems to have followed me here. The unfamiliar faces in the office trigger a sense of déjà vu, reminding me of the social discomfort I felt just days ago.

I quickly make my way to my assigned desk, hoping to blend into the background and become just another face in the bustling office. As I settle into my chair, I can't help but wonder if my co-workers will be as nosy and intrusive as Sarah's friends. Will I have to talk about my imaginary boyfriend again? 

But no one asks anything. No one talks to me. I sit there and watch the glow of computer screens and multiple sticky notes covering desks. I find myself smiling a little. Here, it's about work, projects, and deadlines – a world that I understand better, or at least, a world where I feel like I have a script to follow.

My thoughts are interrupted when a friendly-looking colleague approaches me. "Hey, you must be Y/N, the new intern, right? Welcome to the team." He says with a warm smile and I can't help but smile back and nod. "Well, you might want to introduce yourself during the team meeting in half an hour. We usually do a quick round of introductions for newcomers," He adds.

Self-introductions are my worst nightmare. The mention of it makes my heart drop and my stomach turn. I hate having to stand in front of a group of people and talk about myself. It's a vulnerability I've never been comfortable with, and the fear of saying the wrong thing or stumbling over my words only adds to my anxiety. 

The half-hour passes by with me overthinking every single word I might say during the impending introduction. As the time draws near, I can feel my palms getting clammy, and my mind races with thoughts of how to present myself without revealing too much or appearing too closed off. I sit among the colleagues, my hands fidgeting in my lap, and my gaze fixed on the clock ticking away the minutes. The colleague who informed me about the introductions shoots me an encouraging smile, but it does little to alleviate the knot of nerves tightening in my stomach.

When my name is called, I rise from my seat, and for a moment, I'm paralyzed. All eyes in the room turn toward and I give them a hesitant smile before I start introducing myself. My boring, but safe, script unfolds. "Hi, I'm Y/N, the new intern. I come from a computer science background, and I'm really looking forward to working with all of you." That's it. I sit down, my hands trembling, my legs feeling like they're about to give way. The room seems to echo with the sound of my heartbeat, and a rush of self-consciousness sets in. Did I say enough? Did I say too little? The internal critique begins.

I don't even realize the meeting has come to an end until I see people standing up to leave. I do the same, holding my notebook in a slightly tighter grip than necessary. "Y/N?" The sound of my name being called halts my hurried exit. When I turn around, one of my colleagues excitedly waves me over. "My name is Areum. When you introduced yourself earlier, I thought your outfit was so pretty."

Mine? I look down at my outfit as if I didn't spend hours agonizing over what to wear this morning. It's a light blue blouse paired with black pants and a pair of black heels. I don't know how this outfit could ever go wrong, but the compliment still manages to catch me off guard, a pleasant surprise amid the sea of self-doubt.

A small but genuine smile crosses my face. "Oh, thank you, Areum. That's really kind of you to say."

She smiles and links her arm with mine. "I'm sure there are so many questions that people bombard you with when you're new. I remember feeling the same way not too long ago. But don't worry, you'll settle in, and soon it'll feel like home. Come on, I'll show you the coffee corner. It's where we unofficially conduct our most important meetings," she chuckles, leading the way through the labyrinth of desks and workstations.

I finally don't feel alone. Well, I'm still nervous but at least there's this feeling of belonging that's settling in. "Are the people here friendly?" I blurt out, my anxiety seeping into my words.

I watch as Areum laughs and I start regretting my words. But then she looks at me with a reassuring smile. "We're a pretty friendly bunch. Don't worry too much about the introductions. We've all been there, and you did great."

"Do you think so?" I cannot believe I'm seeking validation for something as simple as introducing myself. Areum's reassurance, however, feels genuine, and her words start to chip away at the self-doubt lingering within me.

"Absolutely," She replies, her arm still linked with mine. "When I first came here, which was two months ago by the way, I felt exactly like you do now. It's normal to have those initial jitters. But let me tell you, this place grows on you. The people, the challenges, even the quirky traditions like picking your coffee mug—they become a part of your routine, and suddenly, you realize you're not just part of a team; you're part of a family. Now come here and pick your mug." 

I stare at the mugs arranged neatly on a shelf near the coffee machine. I feel bad for the other mugs but the one I chose is pink and it has flowers painted delicately along its rim, I can't help it. Areum grins, seemingly pleased with my choice. We head to the coffee machine and I fill my mug with my first official office coffee. "The smell of fresh coffee always makes the day better." 

"Right." She nods, taking a sip of her own mug. "May your cup always be filled, and your code always compile on the first try." That's a pretty good office blessing. 

This is definitely not how I expected my first day at work would be. I expected myself to sit in a corner and quietly work through the day, trying to avoid unnecessary interactions. But here I am, part of a vibrant community, sipping coffee with a colleague who has become a friend.

But the day doesn't stop until I necessarily embarrass myself and I know it. Right when I'm about to turn around a corner to head to my desk, I crash into someone, and my freshly filled coffee mug goes flying. 

"Oh, no," I mutter, horrified, as the mug clatters to the floor. The once-pink flowers now seem to mock me in their shattered state. But when I look at whoever I crashed into, I'm met with frustration and annoyance and I know why.

He sighs, looking at the mess and then at me."Seriously?" I immediately look down to avoid eye contact, my face turning a deep shade of red. The weight of embarrassment settles heavily on my shoulders as I fumble for words.

"I'm sorry, I should have been more careful." I kneel down to pick up the broken pieces when pain shoots through my fingers and he suddenly grabs my hand, looking at me with disbelief written all over his face.

"Are you fucking insane?" He exclaims, his frustration boiling over. The sharpness of his words stings, and my embarrassment becomes both hurt and shame.

"I-I didn't mean to—" I start to say, but he cuts me off. 

"Just watch where you're going. Unbelievable," Before I know it, he releases my hand abruptly and walks away, leaving me kneeling on the floor, the broken mug in my hands, and a knot of humiliation in my chest.