✓ TOO REAL TO DENY | SUNGHOON

8 - One Million Dollar Man

Y/N'S POV

I'm sitting in the kitchen, sipping on my iced coffee while Sarah cooks her famous pancakes. The aroma fills the air, and for a moment, I can almost forget about the complicated mess my life has become. She hums a cheerful tune as she flips a pancake, glancing at me with a smile.

Moments like these are why I can't complain about the way she sometimes makes harsh comments about my social anxiety and lack of dating experience. She means well, and in her eyes, she's helping me break out of my shell. Little does she know, the shell I'm in now is thicker and more suffocating than ever.

"What happened with Park Sunghoon last night? You two seemed quite close." I can see the little smirk playing on Sarah's lips as she continues cooking, waiting for the juicy details of what she assumes was a romantic evening.

"Nothing happened, really. We're still... getting to know each other." It's another lie added to the list and I wonder just how much deeper I'll sink into this tangled web of deceit. The pancakes sizzle on the griddle, and I try to focus on the rhythmic sounds, anything to distract myself from the guilt that gnaws at me.

"Come on, Y/N, he looks at you as if you're the most fascinating thing in the world. I've never seen you with someone like that before," Sarah insists, flipping another pancake expertly. I've always read about men looking at their women like that in romance novels or seen it in movies, and I even allowed myself to hope that someday someone might look at me that way. But now, as Sarah talks about Sunghoon's gaze, I don't allow myself to believe it's true because I know he's just too good at acting. 

I decide to smile and just act like the shy girlfriend whose heart is fluttering at the thought of someone finding her fascinating. "I should go to work in a few minutes. I'll see you later." With that, I head to my room and get ready for work before stepping out of our apartment. I really hope I don't stumble upon Sunghoon today, but there's a little part of me that wishes to see him again. Something must be wrong with me.

Upon stepping inside the office, I scan my card and spot Areum at her desk. When she notices me, she almost jumps out of her chair. "Oh my Gosh, Y/N! How was the party? Please tell me no one suspected anything about you too." 

I smile and shake my head no. "No one did. But I..." As I put my bag on my desk, I let out a sigh. "Did you know he's the heir of a big corporation? Like, a really big one."

Her eyes widen in surprise and I realize she's not really aware of it. "No, I'm not. What in the world, Y/N? That's huge! You're telling me your fake boyfriend is some kind of corporate royalty?" Fake. I should correct her, but I don't want to so I just nod. It sounds less complicated if I don't emphasize the "fake" part. "So, does this mean you're dating a chaebol now?"

I laugh nervously and look at my fidgeting fingers. "Well, it's not exactly like that. You know... a few weeks later and we'll have to cancel the arrangement." Yeah, that's what it is. As much as I try to convince myself, I know deep down that things are not that simple.

"That's a shame." She pouts and I have to agree with her, even though it's not a shame in the way she thinks. "I was hoping you'd snag a wealthy boyfriend and invite me to all those fancy events. I could use a taste of the high life, you know?" I try to smile a little and pretend that everything is as lighthearted as she assumes. 

The coffee corner is quiet when I head to get some coffee, holding the mug Sunghoon had gotten for me. Areum had been teasing me about the fact that he remembered how the mug looked even though it broke the moment we collided that day. I take a sip, the bitter taste of coffee making me dance a little, a tiny shiver running down my spine. I glance around the office, half-expecting to see Sunghoon somewhere, but he's nowhere in sight. Maybe he's avoiding me after last night's argument or maybe he's just not here today. Overthinking is my worst trait, but in this situation, it's hard not to let my thoughts run wild.

As I settle into my work, I can't help but glance at my phone every now and then, half-expecting a message from Sunghoon. The silence is deafening, and it makes me uneasy. I know I'm not supposed to expect texts from a fake boyfriend, but still. I've never had someone's attention before so it's hard not to crave it, even if it's based on a lie.

The day drags on, and Sunghoon doesn't make an appearance. I try to focus on my tasks, burying myself in codes and programs. Maybe it's for the best if he stays away for a while. I need time to sort through my feelings and figure out how to make things work without ruining the arrangement and making me look like an absolute fool. When the day comes to an end and I stand beside Areum while we wait for our cab, I let out a heavy sigh. One last glance at my phone, hoping for a message that doesn't come, and I bury it deep inside my bag.

"Do you want to have dinner together?" When she asks, I have to stop and think for a moment. Going back home and spending the night, once again, watching movies or reading is tempting. But maybe, just maybe, it would be fun to spend time with Areum. So, I suck in a breath and give her a smile.

"Sure. That sounds nice." And we're off to the restaurant that's been the talk of the city. People are lining up outside, eagerly waiting for their turn and Areum and I stand among them. Being around so many people makes my heart race, a familiar discomfort settling in. I don't know whether I'm supposed to look down, look at people, or pretend to be on my phone to avoid eye contact. Areum nudges my side and I look at her. 

"I'm so nervous, there's a lot of people. Do I look good? Is this okay?" It takes me a moment to realize that Areum, the girl who's always effortlessly confident, is feeling anxious too. Her vulnerability surprises me and I start wondering if it's not just me who feels awfully out of place in social situations. I offer her a smile and nod, making her let out a sigh of relief and chuckle. Perhaps the people around us, too, are engaged in their own worlds of worry and self-consciousness and oblivious to the fact that I'm feeling just as out of place. Perhaps I can just be myself and blend into this human experience, imperfect and beautifully diverse.

I've only met Areum for a week now but she's already become a comforting presence, and it scares me because I've known Sarah for two whole years and I've never managed to feel as comfortable as I do around Areum. It's a strange realization, one that makes me feel guilty for even considering the notion.

The line outside the restaurant moves steadily, and soon we find ourselves seated inside. I love the place and I love that it's a Japanese restaurant with its minimalist decor and the soft ambiance of traditional music playing in the background. "It's perfect." 

"I knew you'd love it. You look like the type who appreciates this kind of atmosphere," She says with a knowing smile. It's almost as if she can read my preferences effortlessly, a skill I didn't realize I craved in a friend until now. After we make our order, Areum holds out her phone and leans slightly forward. "Let's look up Park Sunghoon on social media. I'm curious to know more about your 'fake boyfriend.'"

"Uh, his account is private." I blurt out and the corners of her lips curl up.

"So you already stalked him? I didn't take you for the type," She teases, nudging me playfully while I laugh nervously. "But he'd surely have some pictures or information visible to the public, right? I mean, if he's the heir of a big corporation, there might be something out there." I nod, realizing she has a point, and watch while she scrolls through the search results on her phone. The glow of the screen illuminates her face as she widens her eyes. "Look at him."

When she turns the phone to me, I see a picture of Sunghoon in a sharp suit, confidently smiling at the camera. He's handsome. He looks like a character stepped right out of a romance book, with his beautiful, brown eyes and his perfectly styled hair. His lips, curved into a confident yet gentle smile, seem to hold the promise of whispered sweet nothings and stolen kisses and for a moment, I find it so hard not to imagine his lips against mine. 

I've never been kissed, apart from the boy from elementary school who stole a quick peck during a game of spin the bottle. But imagining Sunghoon's lips against mine feels like a scene from one of those romance books I secretly devour late at night.

"He's..." Beautiful. Handsome. Anything to describe the one-million-dollar man Lana Del Rey sings about. "Good looking." I'm not about to admit that he's more than just good-looking. I'm not about to admit that my heart might race a little when he's near, or that his touch lingers in my thoughts longer than it should. No, I won't admit any of that.