The Viper's Venom

Jeopardize

~Alton's pov~

"Alton... What was our fucking motto, huh? ' I'll pretend like I'm blind, like I can't see her, hear her, or even feel her presence.' 

You literally ran to her, hugged her, and cried in her arms because you thought she died?!! But you already knew it wasn't her; you saw the person underneath the mask, and it wasn't her, so why?

 Why did you run to her and jeopardize our mission?!!" Marcus yelled as he paced back and forth in front of me.

I hung my head in shame, feeling the weight of Marcus' disappointment crushing down on me. I had let my emotions get the best of me, forgetting the very motto I had lived by.

"I couldn't control myself. It was as if all logic vanished when I saw her." I muttered, barely audible, as tears welled up in my eyes.

 Marcus stopped pacing and turned to face me, his expression a mix of anger and concern.

"We can't afford to make mistakes like this, Alton. Lives are at stake, including our own. We need to be disciplined and focused if we're going to succeed in this mission," Marcus said firmly.

I bit my lips , feeling the weight of his words sink in. He was right, of course. 

Our mission was too important to let personal emotions cloud our judgment, but then again, I nearly had a heart attack when I heard that The Viper killed herself. 

I thought I had nearly lost the love of my life . How would he know what that feels like? The fear, the panic, and the realization that someone you care about could be gone in an instant.

 Marcus may have seen many difficult situations before, but had he experienced the raw emotions that come with a near loss like I did?

Carmi had always stuck by him, but I? I had to leave Valeria behind and face the possibility of life without her.

"I know that. I know that more than anyone else; you know that yourself, Marcus, but..." I yelled as I looked at Carmi, who sat beside him. "You wouldn't know how I nearly died from the inside when I thought I was going to lose her."

Marcus looked at me with a mixture of confusion and concern in his eyes. I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself, knowing that my emotions were on full display.

"I couldn't bear the thought of facing life without her," I continued, my voice wavering. 

"I had to leave everything behind for the chance to keep her safe. I did all this for Valeria to keep her fucking safe so that nothing just ever harms her, but if I lose her itself, I don't know what I would do."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I spoke, the weight of my emotions crashing down on me like a tidal wave.

"I understand," he said softly, his voice filled with empathy.

"No, you don't understand! You have Carmi beside you; you have someone to fight for and protect. But what do I have if I lose Valeria? Nothing. Absolutely nothing! 

Yes, I admit I was wrong for running to Valeria even though I knew she was alive , but could you blame me? The fear of losing her consumed me, driving me to desperate measures. 

It was not a rational decision, but at that moment, all I could think about was keeping her safe. And if that meant risking everything, then so be it.

 So could you blame me for my actions?" I exclaimed, the desperation evident in my tone. As I spoke those words, my chest heaved with uncontrollable sobs.

"I'm sorry to say this, but neither of you would understand the pain I am feeling right now," I continued, wiping away the tears that streamed down my face.