Matrimony 💍 Scaramouche x Reader

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 : 𝐈 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠

My dreams are the same every night.

No matter what has happened in my life, no matter what condition I am in, whenever I lay down for the night, I always return to the same dream.

Over, and over, and over again. It never seems to stop.

In that dream, I stand alone.

A lake comes to life beneath my feet, and a Thunder Sakura tree blooms right before my very eyes, its pink petals gracefully falling off its branches.

One petal after the other, they dampen the tears that have long stained my cheeks.

I never realize that I cry in my dreams until those petals brush my skin.

And then, it suddenly becomes so hard to breathe because of my crying. My sobs echoing through this seemingly empty plane that surrounds me to be frozen in time.

Why did she have to die? Why did she leave me all alone?

Why must she abandon me here in this barren land of awful nobility and exaggerated performances? Why Can't I just stay with her where the Thunder Sakuras bloom evermore?

Of course, I knew that my father had always loved my mother... So much that he detested me after she died giving birth to me. It was a miracle he decided to keep me after my mother's unfortunate demise.

Every day, every hour, every minute, and every second of my existence. It was a nuisance, a waste of space in this beautiful world.

This is a world where I am not needed, not worthy of love, and certainly not worthy of a life.

What did I do to deserve such a life like this one that I am living right now? I know my sin well; my birth killed my own mother.

I killed the only person who loved and cherished my father.

I killed the only daughter my mother's family had.

I killed the most beloved singer of two nations.

I killed the person who gave me life.

I am nothing but a murderer.

And for that, I do not deserve anything but eternal damnation. I deserved the misery I have in my grasp, and I will not let it go for it is my punishment.

To roam this earth, carrying the guilt I must bear for the crime I have committed. What I have done is unforgivable. That is a fact.

I have long forgotten what it's like to be happy, to be sad, to be angry... to resent.

Perhaps it's for the better. How could I ever live without being reminded of what I have done? I'm not allowed to be happy. I shouldn't be.

My life is a living curse. A walking omen of bad luck. Every person, every living creature I encountered has met their misery.

And it was all because of me.

It's all my fault.

Everything I do is a fault.

I can't do anything better than to ruin everyone's day.

I can't do anything right. I'm always doing the wrong things.

Is that why the Iudex keeps his eyes on me? So that I won't cause any more damages?

Is that why the house of the Hearth has kept close relations to my father to keep in check as well? Was it so bad that even the Fatui of Snezhnaya must interfere discreetly?