𝔗𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔪𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔟𝔢 𝔴𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔤 (𝔉𝔶𝔬𝔩𝔞𝔦)

4: 𝔏𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 ℜ𝔢𝔡 𝔏𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯

                                                                                       ✩✩✩

  December had started, bringing with it a biting wind that made ones bones ache. Snow adorned the grounds and sprinkled the tops of trees, and Nikolai was determined to get a closer view. "Kolya wait! You'll freeze to death out there!" Fyodor exclaimed, trying to drag Nikolai back inside. It had been about a month since their confrontation on the balcony and although Fyodor had made many attempts to follow Nikolai's 'advice' he hadn't made much progress. Even so the two had spent more time together than ever. "I'll be fine, it's not even that cold out!" Nikolai retorted, hurriedly walking down the halls of their dormitory building. Right as they made it outside Fyodor stopped him, shoving a coat into his hands. "At least wear this...please." He let out a sigh of defeat and shuffled to put the coat on. Once it was on he stopped, looking at Fyodor with a twinkle in his eye. "This is one of your coats." "I have no idea what you're talking about."

 The two of them began to stroll across the grounds, Nikolai smiling as his footsteps crunched in the fresh snow. It was completely silent until they reached the edge of the woods. "We should turn back, it's getting late..." He said, gently kicking at the ground as he spoke. Fyodor was surprised. "Are you sure?" He asked. "I would have thought you wanted to drag me to the middle of the woods and back." He added with a small giggle. Nikolai rolled his eyes. "Trust me, I would but...it really is quite cold out." He admitted somewhat sheepishly. Fyodor shook his head with a smile as they turned to walk back towards the school. 

  It was only around five in the afternoon but the sun was almost gone, casting its last golden rays as it disappeared behind the trees. Nikolai walked slowly, seeming to have something on his mind. Fyodor couldn't help but notice, turning to face him as they began to ascend the front steps of the school. "Is something the matter?" Nikolai opened his mouth as if to reply but nothing came out. He fidgeted with his braid before he looked up at Fyodor and asked "What are we?" Fyodor was taken aback. Of course, he'd deliberated over the answer to that exact question countless times, but he was never able to come to a satisfactory conclusion. "I suppose..." he trailed off to gather his thoughts. Nikolai felt as though an eternity had passed as he waited for his answer. "It feels wrong to say we're only friends. But how far our relationship strays from that I couldn't say."

  Nikolai just stared at him. "That certainly was an... interesting answer. But not to worry, all is forgiven! I know it's only because you want to kiss me, you just don't know what to do about it!" He spoke with a grin that stretched from ear to ear. He was only teasing. Well, mostly... "I what!?" Fyodor scoffed in response. His pale face flushed red as he whipped his head to face away from Nikolai. He began to walk briskly up the stairs but Nikolai followed close behind. "No no no no, wait! I-I'm sorry I teased you. The main reason I asked is because well...I wanted to ask you to go on a date with me." He squeezed his eyes shut as he spoke the last part, obviously nervous to see how Fyodor would respond.

  Fyodor nearly fell down the steps.

  After he brushed the snow from his legs Fyodor looked to Nikolai once again, clearing his throat loudly before replying. "You know very well where my feelings lie. However...I need time to think this over, you understand." Nikolai was slightly disappointed but nodded. Of course he understood, more than anyone, but part of him wished Fyodor would be more open with him. Even when conversations like these arose, every word Fyodor spoke was calculated, thoughtful. There were few times he would let his emotions lead him, which hurt Nikolai greatly. He knew part of the reason was that it was just Fyodor's personality. But nobody, he thought, was that careful with their words unless they had been silenced one too many times.

                                                                                       ✩✩✩

  Later that evening as mail was being distributed, Nikolai was happy to see a small envelope from a friend in his hometown. He tore it open excitedly and found a paper and a small note inside. He read the note and picked up the paper, which held a beautiful drawing. Fyodor noticed it and leaned over. "I knew you've never had a passion for the arts. At least now I know where all those drawings on your walls come from." Nikolai laughed. "If you were so curious then why didn't you just ask?" "I wanted to figure it out on my own." Fyodor replied. It was then that Nikolai saw the maroon colored envelope that Fyodor was holding, which Fyodor promptly hid from view. "What was that?" "Nothing important." "Don't lie to me Fedya~" Fyodor frowned. "It's from a friend." Now it was Nikolai's turn to frown. "I don't mean to be rude but... you said it yourself that you don't have any friends back home. Now spill it." He grinned. "Fine then. It's from my family." Nikolai's expression grew more serious. "Really? But they never write to you." Fyodor was slightly hurt by him pointing that out but continued anyways, opening the envelope like it might bite him if he did it too fast. "So? What does it say?" Nikolai asked nervously. By the time Fyodor was finished reading his spirits were shattered. "What is it?" "It's my mother. She wants me to come home for Christmas in a week." Nikolai's expression almost perfectly matched Fyodor's, his mouth open in shock.

  "Oh..."

                                                                                       ✩✩✩