Bad Decisions - Noah Sebastian

Peace

The metal door closed behind me and I was immediately engulfed in the noise of the warehouse. I could hear my name being called over the noise of the crowd. Looking up to the VIP lounge I could see Matt pressed over the railing, waving for me to come up to him. I nodded and trudged up the stairs unwillingly. I don't know how to feel right now. I should be happy, ecstatic even, my bands new album is dropping in a few hours, the music I made is blaring through the speakers, I should be so proud right now. I feel none of that, I feel overwhelmed, confused, and I want to say I'm angry but I can't bring myself to say I'm angry at who I should be angry at right now. Alex, I never thought she'd make me angry; sad, depressed, distraught, yes she's done that before but never angry.

Matt threw me into ceremonial press stuff with the rest of the boys. Pictures, pictures, and more pictures were taken especially once the album was in our hands. Physically I was there, trying not to let on that my mood was weighing me down, mentally I'm with Alex, wondering if she came back inside, hopefully she did, she wouldn't want to miss this, and I need her back by my side as soon as we're through. The longer I think about what happened earlier my confusion begins to clear; I know exactly why it happened. After everything Alex and I have been through one of the hardest things for her has always been feeling threatened. I know she knows I would never take the opportunity if it was offered but that doesn't stop a normal human reaction. She felt threatened, she lashed out, she was taken out the back door. Oh fuck, what if she never came back in? I have to find her.

As we were dismissed from our duties and the band dispersed back into the crowd I used my height to my advantage and began scanning the crowd for the tiny girl in the black dress. Oh, how badly I want to take that dress off of her. In the car ride here my mind was running wild as my eyes scanned her body. I wanted nothing more than to take her whatever way I could; to bury myself in her soaking core, to touch her, to play with her nipples and elicit delicious noises from those soft lips. If I can just find her I have a chance at salvaging the night and just maybe get what I wanted so desperately earlier.

Alex is only five feet tall, any other time our fifteen inch height difference is funny and cute, right now it's misery, looking for a short girl in a crowd of regular height people. I kept thinking I saw her as I pushed and maneuvered through the crowd but every time I got my hopes up they fell flat as soon as I spotted the flaw that made the girl I was looking at not Alex. The first place I looked was VIP but to no avail, that's how I ended up doing two laps around the warehouse floor. After my second round I bounded up the stairs back to the lounge.

"Where is she?" I asked as soon as my eyes locked with Folios. Surely he's seen her.

"Where's who?" His face shown confusion. My stomach was in knots now.

"Alex, where's Alex. I haven't seen her, I can't find her." The words tumbled from my mouth desperately, I could feel myself losing my self restraint as the seconds passed.

"What do you mean? You lost her? How?!" I watched aggravation spread across his features but I was too far past caring.

"Yes. I lost her." My words were sharp and pointed as I spoke. "Have. You. Seen. Her."

"No." He took a step back before slowly turning away, signally he was done talking and probably rightfully pissed at me for losing track of Alex in a place like this. I turned away, running my hands through my hair as I scanned the crowd from above. There's no sign of her, no light brown hair in sight, just blondes, dark hair and even darker hair. I kept looking though, I'm sure if she is down there and she smiled, I'd see it from up here, my eyes would go to it like magnets.

"Look, I don't think she's here." Nicholas said as he stepped up from behind me; he'd caught wind of my predicament long ago, shortly after I started my search. "This is social anxiety ridden Alex we're talking about. If she was here she'd be glued to your side just like she was when we got here." he reasoned with me.