Out

Die Together.

And so he did, he moved into the house he had always wanted to move into. Into the life he had always wanted. And it... would have felt good- had he not been so very aware of how much he had hurt Nicodemus. Aware of the mess he had put him in. Nicodemus got a temporary job as he waited for move-in date, doing his best to avoid Dmitri. He wasn't angry anymore- he wasn't sure he had ever been- the longer time had gone on- the more his heart ached for Dmitri. For the shit he had been given, but it still hurt to see him, it was like an uncomfortable itch that he wanted so badly to scratch, but couldn't. They could've been something wonderful. Instead, they were nothing at all- not even friends anymore. Dmitri hoped Nicodemus understood how much he had loved him back, he had wanted to tell him time and time again. Always a little too scared. He just wanted to go back to California, where they had been happy for a little while before he had ruined it- the way he always did.

Nicodemus didn't say goodbye when he left, and Dmitri understood- only watching through the window as he heaved bags into his blue pick-up. It was dark outside- somewhere around five a.m- the sun just beginning to yawn awake. Nicodemus glanced up to the guest room window, where Dmitri watched, and gave a small smile. Dmitri smiled back as Nicodemus got in his truck and drove away. Before Dmitri could think, he was running down the stairs and out the door, after Nicodemus. He hadn't always been fast, it had been something he had learned growing up. Be quick on your feet, be quick with your mind. He ran faster than he ever had before, but Nicodemus was faster, not noticing Dmitri. If he had, he would've stopped. He would've stopped.
**********************************************
"I should be angry that you totally ditched me for a boy." Tinny mock scolded, folding her arms as Dmitri sat on her bed, his head hung low.
"I mean, I haven't heard from you in what, months? It feels like months."

"I don't know. I don't know how long it lasted. I'm sorry I never called. I was so wrapped up in him. I was just... I was leaving everything behind, and you were part of that. I'm sorry you were. I'm sorry I let myself forget how much you mean to me."

Tinny sat down beside him.
"I forgive you." She smiled softly.
"But I wish you had told me about him... more then you did, I mean. I have no clue what happened between you two."

"What is there to tell?" Dmitri scoffed, trying to play it off  "We fell in love, the clock struck midnight, I turned into a pumpkin."

"Oh come on. You've been through some shit Dmitri, it's not exactly your fault you are the way that you are."

"You're wrong Tinny, I mean, you reach a certain age and you're responsible for who you are, y'know? And I don't even recognize myself anymore. He was so good to me, and I left him there, and he was so sad. Tinny, you should have seen the way he looked at me. I can't forget it. And his parents are sweet, and kind, and I don't deserve it. I feel like I need to go back to California, back to that room- for closure or something. I need to tell myself that he's not there, he's not waiting for me."

Tinny was quiet for a moment
"Wanna go?"

"What?" Dmitri raised his eyebrows.

"Dmitri you always look pale and grey, and somehow you look even worse lately. Its gross. And If we drive all night, we can be there by the morning. We'll go, we'll spend a couple nights, and maybe it'll do you some good, to be there without him. One day it won't hurt so bad."

"Are you going to tell your parents?" Dmitri chuckled

"Are you going to tell your Dad?"

Dmitri looked away, shaking his head. His heart drumming at the memory of what he'd done. Of what lay in the lake. He wondered if Vadim would be found. If anyone would look. He felt ill- trying desperately to snap back to the present. He wished he could tell Tinny.
"Alright, alright. Let's go. I've done crazier things."