The Way I See You

Part 1 - No one like you

He was singing Mere mahiye jinna sona na koi hona na koi hona, again and again. It wasn't his fault, really. Ishan had come out dressed to nines in his Diwali finery. The kurta was simple but also had something so attractive about it. It could be the person wearing it, his brain supplied unhelpfully.

Of course, it was the person wearing it. His sunshine. His favorite person. His best friend. Ishan was the cutest, most adorable person he had ever met and he had long since stopped denying how taken in he was by his pocket dynamo.

He actually found the memes about them being a couple silly, but some of them were so funny and sweet. He might even agree with the shippers on how adorable they look together. Though, in his earnest opinion, it's just Ishan being his adorable self and him looking at Ishan with adoring eyes. Well, he doesn't even blame himself. Ishan is adorable, it's only fair that he looks at him like he's the best thing to happen to him.

Mere Mahiye Jinna Sona

Na Koi Hoya Na Koi Hona

Je Main Pittal Te Tu Sona Bakhudaa

If you ask Shubman what's the best thing to happen to him. He would probably say cricket. Because, it is true.. cricket gave him everything, a goal, motivation to work hard, a good life, money, fame, friends like family. However, the best thing cricket brought to him was his chota packet bada dhamaka, nautanki best friend.

Kya Bataun Main Tujhey

Tu Hai Jo Mila Mujhey

Ho Gayi Hai

Rabb Di Aamadaan

When they met, he was reticent but Ishan had broken through his defenses in the blink of an eye. Before he knew it, he was barring his soul as they shared rooms and beds, and conversations that ranged so wide that he often got whiplash as Ishan jumped from one topic to the next. But there's been not one dull moment since he had given the key to his heart to Ishan.

Itne Naseeb Se

Dekha Hai Kareeb Se

Noor Diyaan Hoyiaan Baarishaan

He has not regretted a single moment of their friendship. Not even when Ishan stayed up playing Bhojpuri songs without earphones before a big match day. Or when he decided Shubman was his favorite partner in crime when it comes to pulling pranks and getting into trouble with the other players. He was still the kindest, most giving soul he had the good fortune of meeting.

In a way, Ishan had taken him under his wing in their early days of friendship. Young and awkward, Shubman always looked at the confident and easygoing Ishan with a touch of admiration. He would go hang out with Ishan simply to be around him. Even if it meant traveling to Ishan's training camps and staying in cramped spaces. Ishan's presence is all that he wanted in his life, then.

So much had changed since then except this one thing. He still liked spending all his spare time with Ishan, listening to him talk or just peppering him with all kinds of questions like he's preparing to write Ishan's biography. His friends say he talked like Ishan when he was around him. He IS around him a lot so does that mean..

his thoughts are cut off abruptly by the subject of his.. well.. thoughts.

Ho Sajke Jo Aaye Tu

Akhiyon Ke Saamne

Nazraan Lagein Na Meriaan

"Kya soch raha hai?"

(What are you thinking?)

Ishan was smiling at him and Shubman knew he was staring, but there was only so much he could do to stop himself. He found himself smiling back. He noticed Ishan's smile getting brighter, he almost seemed to reach out for his dimples like he sometimes did but completely uncharacteristically, stopped himself.

Shubman was confused but what really shocked him was how the smile had completely disappeared from Ishan's face. It felt like someone had thrown a piece of burning coal into his heart. Wow, so dramatic, his brain chose that moment to announce itself.

Maybe Ishan had noticed his dimming smile because he was smiling again. To Shubman's trained eye, (Trained in reading every Ishan facial expression and quirk), it was a make-shift smile not like the one he had worn earlier. That had been Ishan's involuntary reaction to seeing him. Pure joy. He wanted to investigate the varying degrees of Ishan's smile but now was not the time.

He could sense that, if he didn't bring his brain back online and step in, his social butterfly of a best mate would flit away.

They then clicked solo pictures of each other, as was their habit. If he thought it should be illegal as to how good Ishan looked in traditional wear, it was only for him to know. Though sometimes the knowing looks he received from his team mates suggested he wasn't as subtle with his thoughts as he had assumed. Like today, Kuldeep had smiled at him knowingly.

Ishan seemed to be his usual chirpy self but oddly distant with him. He couldn't even point out exactly what it was that felt different but he felt it in his bones. It wasn't a happy feeling. The only time Ishan seemed happy and excited was when he saw Shardul had worn a similar kurta as him and directed them in an impromptu photo session.

They had taken pictures with the others but something was off. He realized Ishan didn't want him to ask at the moment, so he let it go, for then. In the group photo of the team along with their families and support staff, Ishan sat down but Shubman would have none of it for the team picture. He pulled Ishan towards him, placing his arm on his shoulder like he was used to doing. He didn't realize he was holding his breath trying to see if Ishan would weasel his way away from him until Ishan relaxed and moved closer. Wow, that felt like a lot!

He should've expected it, but it still hurt when Ishan, with his pretend nonchalance, told him he was leaving with Shardul after the party.

"Par kal tho match hai?"

(But tomorrow's the match?)

"Late nahi hoonga", he smiled. Shubman felt a sense of relief. He wasn't going to question why he expected Ishan to say something sassy. His best friend may act sassy with the whole world but with him, he was soft and gentle. Besides all the whacking and slapping where he could be a little rough. But, Shubman has been among boys who played sport and he knew rough and the way Ishan was with him wasn't how he'd define rough.

You are such a simp for him, his brain chose to speak at the wrong moment.. as always.

He smiled back like the simp (ha!) he was.. nodding. There was a flash of something in Ishan's eyes. He thought he knew every expression of his best friend but maybe he didn't? Well.. what a great way to spend time until Ishan returns with his basket full of stories.

Overthinking, he was prone to it. He was going to wait. He always waited for Ishan but the truth was Ishan rarely left him like this. He would always take him along.. even if it meant dragging him, convincing him, begging him or demanding he join him. To be not asked to join by Ishan felt weird. Sure, he had a match tomorrow that Ishan most likely wasn't playing in but Ishan had to be as match ready as him so it made no sense to. He did realize he was running away with his thoughts but..this was about Ishan. How could he not?