The Way I See You

Part 3 - Pagal wagal hai kya

The next morning went by in a haze of match day blues. Ishan wished him luck in their private pre-match routine which may or may not include a long tight hug with words of encouragement and affirmation. Shubman always thought Ishan was especially good at that. Everybody needed an Ishan in their lives. No wonder everybody on the team loved Ishan. He just had that something about him.

It was a fun match, he got to bowl too! How exciting! However his mood was dampened by how Ishan was blowing hot and cold. He was perfectly normal with him in private but refused to look his way when there were people around. Since when have their interactions been dictated by the presence of other people? He tried to make Ishan laugh and Ishan did but without so much as looking at him. It was like his entire focus off field was not on the match but to get Ishan to look at him.

The thing was Ishan was his normal self with everyone else. He didn't seem upset. In fact, he was laughing and playing around with everyone else as usual. That stung. He could've said..oh two can play this game. But.. he wasn't made that way. He couldn't ignore Ishan even if he tried and that put him at a stark disadvantage, he realized. The worst part was he had never been in this predicament before. They have had fights and arguments but he has never been ignored by Ishan without good reason. He couldn't say it wasn't a bit heartbreaking. He had known all along that he was very vulnerable with a select few people, his dad, his family in general and Ishan.

He had gone back to the room as soon as he could manage. But, once back, he realized the waiting game had begun all over again. He hated it. He hated it so much. He had never been anything but Ishan's first priority. That's how Shubman treated him too. This situation he found himself in was more stressful than he anticipated. He missed Ishan. He missed how they were together. He wanted to know why he was getting the silent treatment. He had mentally cataloged every single thing that had happened and found not one instance where he could've hurt Ishan, even, unknowingly. He simply couldn't see what had led to this behavior.

It took him a while but he eventually came to the conclusion that Ishan probably hated being linked to him. Though Ishan had liked a picture of them in their Diwali attire with a cute subset picture of them cuddling and sleeping from their younger days, set to romantic music no less. If it were an accidental like then it would've been unliked by now. Which means he didn't seem to mind it but something was clearly bothering him.

He was curled up in a ball when Ishan found him.

"Shubhi" Ishan was next to him in a second. Holding him close. His voice was full of regret and concern.

"Tu teek hai na"

(you're doing ok right?)

Shubman turned around in Ishan's embrace.

"Tu teek hai?" (Are you ok?) Ishan asked again.

"Kya farak padtha hai?" (Does it matter) More than anything the defeat in his voice was what got to Ishan.

"Suno" (Listen) he tried to shake Shubman. He wouldn't budge.

"Idhar dekho, meri jaan" "Sorry, sorry, tu ek baar meri taraf dekh na"

(Look at me, my love. I'm sorry look at me just this once)

Shubman kept his eyes shut. He refused to look into Ishan's big beautiful eyes and melt again. It was getting harder to ignore though. Ishan was on him now trying to get him to open his eyes and look at him. "Suno tho meri baat" (Listen to me)

"Tum kaun ho" (who are you) Shubman would've been proud about how petty he sounded had he not been feeling so hurt.

"Acha mein kaun hoon? Abhi batata hoon" (Who am I!! I'll tell you now) Ishan's voice had gone up a decibel or two. He was on Shubman playfully slapping his face so he'd open his eyes.

It was probably the playful nature of what was happening that triggered Shubman because he rolled them over trapping Ishan under him. Then opened his eyes to look at him. Too close, his brain whispered.

Ishan looked flustered and shocked. Shubman found himself enjoying that look on him.

"Can't ignore me now, can you?"

"Tu meri baat sun" (Listen to what I've to say) Ishan tried to push him to the side but Shubman was having none of it.

"Ab jo bhi baat karna hai, aise hi karenge"

(We are gonna talk like this whatever it is that you wanna say)

"Pagal wagal hai kya?"

(Are you out of your mind?)

"Maybe"

Shubman was hovering over Ishan's face. One wrong move and he'll be brushing lips with Ishan thus proving the world right. However, right now Ishan seemed mad at him. That's good. At least, they could sort it out in the privacy of their room.

"Hatt na. Kya kar raha hai"

(Move. What are you doing?)

Shubman placed a finger on Ishan's lips, instantly silencing him. Probably even shocking him a little. Shubman mentally patted himself. He needed the upper hand for this conversation.

"Tu kya kar raha hai" (What are YOU doing?) He continued without waiting for an answer. "Mujhe itna hurt kyun kar raha hai" (Why are you hurting me so much?)

He could feel Ishan go still, his eyes had widened in shock. Shubman caressed Ishan's forehead that had creased at what he said.

"Aise ignore mat kiya kar" (Don't ignore me like that) he knew his voice sounded distressed.

"Sorry"

Ishan had somehow wormed his hands out and wrapped it around Shubman's neck. The action causing him to get just a breath's distance away from Ishan's face.

They stared at each other for a moment. Shubman's constantly whizzing brain had come to a crashing halt. Meanwhile Ishan looked like he was struggling with something as well.

Ishan pulled Shubman into his neck.

"Sorry sorry tujhe hurt karne ka koi irada nahi tha"

(I'm sorry, I had no intention of hurting you)

Shubman snuggled further into the neck. His lips on the pulse point that was pulsating rather fast. Hmmm. Without thinking he sucked on it. It was when he felt Ishan shuddering that he got back to his senses.

"Kya kar raha hai"

(What are you doing?)

"Saza"

(Punishment)

"Pagla gaya hai kya"

(Have you lost it?)

Shubman wasn't sure what he was doing, truly. But he knew he had to keep doing what he was doing because it seemed to annoy Ishan. He kissed the pulse point again. Was it faster than before? Probably. He swept his tongue over it to be sure. Yes, it was faster and wait a second, was Ishan palpitating? He seemed to be. IF this was his idea of what he claims to be punishment, then it was working well. He took his time exploring Ishan's neck. It was amidst a particularly enthusiastic session that he heard Ishan bite out a moan.

He lifted his head to look at Ishan who was already staring at him. A few moments went by as they just looked at each other.

"Itne pyaar se koi saza deta hai kya"

(Who gives such loving punishment?) Ishan's voice was soft and gentle when he said it.

Ishan's hand he noticed was in his hair. Was it there all along? He didn't know. The compelling urge to kiss every bit of his best mate's face was overwhelming and a bit disconcerting.

He let his intrusive thoughts win and placed a tiny peck on the edge of Ishan's lips.