enough. woosan (wooyoung pov)

seventeen: sake of moving forward

making things worst
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Wooyoung returned home to a vacant bed, the hollowness echoing in the silence. Attempting calming breaths proved futile, leaving tears to carve their trails until sleep claimed him in its somber embrace.

The following morning, he barely roused himself for a therapy Zoom call, slipping into a clean shirt. Descending the stairs, the absence of Yeosang deepened the ache. Wooyoung sends him a quick "where are you?" text before entering his zoom session on his laptop.

Yeonjun's greeting invited a floodgate of emotions. Wooyoung poured out the turmoil, detailing a night of discord with Yeosang over a guy dating San. "Why is he upset with Yeosang and me if he's dating someone else?" Wooyoung questioned aloud, frustration coloring his words.

"He texted me to come over, and shamelessly, I did," Wooyoung admitted. "I thought I was over him, but he was drunk, then embarrassed me in front of my friends—friends who I think hate me."

Tears welled at the memory of disappointed faces, catching even Yunho's disdainful glance. "I wish I never came back," Wooyoung confessed , his voice croak. In America, moments free from thoughts of San existed, shattered upon returning home.

"I thought I was over him. Seeing him so hurt, I felt to blame," Wooyoung confessed, his vulnerability laid bare."I don't get how's it's my fault for everything."

"It's a lot of miscommunication. " Yeonjun empathized,"Perhaps, with your lawyers involved, you can find common ground or closure."

"A closure would be nice," Wooyoung sighed, wiping away tears, the desire for resolution etched on his face.

"Write down how you feel; I know you tend to keep it all in, and that's not good. People aren't mind readers; they won't know without communication. Even with Yeosang, you love and care about him. He seems not to understand, so assure him he has nothing to worry about, and you're serious about the relationship," Yeonjun advises.

Wooyoung nods, wiping a tear, reflecting on the hardships Yeosang endured for him. "I'll do that."

Later, Wooyoung decides to write San a letter after his session. Wooyoung found himself torn between pen and phone. The letter, a tangible expression of his soul, lay forgotten as he opted for a digital connection. Fingers danced across the screen, crafting a plea: "Can we talk seriously in person, please?" The weight of unspoken words hung in the air, a poignant melody waiting to be played.

and when it did he goes in his car to talk to san.

As Wooyoung rides along, he quietly repeats his list in his mind, determined to express his thoughts clearly. He offers a silent prayer, hoping that everything goes well because he truly doesn't want to lose his friends or San.

However, Wooyoung understands that he shouldn't expect San to become his friend again. With their divorce, it would be the funeral of their relationship. Nevertheless, he hopes for a sense of civility between them.

Parking in front of San's apartment, Wooyoung observes as San approaches the car. He lowers the volume of the radio, waiting in anticipation.

In the dimly lit car, San's gaze remained fixed on the window as Wooyoung poured out his remorse, the air heavy with unspoken emotions. The silence lingered until Wooyoung, overcome by guilt, confessed his feelings of inadequacy.

"I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you," Wooyoung spoke, the hum of Twice's "What is Love" serving as an unintentional backdrop to his apology. San met his words with a dull stare, prompting Wooyoung to delve into the reasons behind his departure to America.

Wooyoung, struggling to contain his emotions, admitted, "I wish I had handled things differently and didn't think you were trying to hold me back." He continued, "Choi San, I'm the worst husband ever, and you deserve better."

As Wooyoung's self-deprecating words hung in the air, an unexpected surge of warmth interrupted him. A kiss, a shared memory, cut through the heavy atmosphere, leaving Wooyoung gasping for breath as they broke apart.

"I still love you," San whispered, vulnerability in his eyes, and Wooyoung reciprocated, intertwining their hands

"I still love you too," Wooyoung admitted, watching a tear escape from San's eye. Apologies and regrets followed, and San,

"Why wait 2 years?" San asked, his face close to Wooyoung's. "I shamelessly waited for you. I told people you were on vacation and would be coming back."

Wooyoung's lips trembled as he felt the weight of his mistake, travels through his body. "I thought you hated me," he confessed, realizing the gravity of the situation. San, frustrated, countered, "You know I couldn't hate you." was the words that made wooyoung realize he made a huge mistake. he didn't bother to mention san blocking him, because it results him being in the wrong because he assumed. Now he's divorcing his first love because of something that could've been resolved in an alternate world.

"i wished i've known." wooyoung sighs, he truly fuck things up and this was truly the end.

In the quiet moments before their impending separation, Wooyoung braced himself for the finality of the encounter with San. As San began to speak, Wooyoung preemptively diverted the conversation, confessing, "I want to kiss you again," fully aware that this would mark their last shared moment.

San  leans in, and their lips meet once again. The kiss unfolded with a deliberate slowness, a bittersweet dance of love and longing. When they parted, heads resting against each other, a moment of post-kiss clarity set in.

"I can't do this," San admitted, his voice heavy with emotion. "We're divorcing, and we can't keep doing this," he reminded Wooyoung, tears welling in his eyes.

Despite seeking closure, the nostalgia and comfort of San's presence threatened to engulf Wooyoung. "I know," he confessed, unable to resist. "But it's so hard to stay away from you." especially knowing that San never hated him. he knows what he lost now that it's gone.

San, wearing a conflicted expression, took a deep breath, urging both of them to focus on the impending divorce. Wooyoung, sensing the seriousness in San's tone, sighed, recalling the advice of his therapist – it was time to let go.

"I'll do whatever it takes to make things right between us," Wooyoung promised, releasing San's hands with a heavy heart. The realization hit him: it was no longer about what he wanted but about making the divorce quick and easy for San, a painful sacrifice for the sake of moving forward.