enough. woosan (wooyoung pov)

31: over his emotions.

In the dwindling light of the day, Wooyoung found himself standing at the doorstep of his mother's house. His phone buzzed with a message from San, and a sigh escaped him as he typed the familiar excuse, "I'm busy today." The burden of unresolved issues loomed, and Wooyoung felt the need to mend his own fractures before continuing the dance of their relationship.

Stepping into the familiar haven of his mother's home, a mix of emotions swirled within him. The air seemed charged with the unspoken, and as he entered, his father was seated in the living room, engaged in a solitary meal. Summoning quiet courage, Wooyoung spoke up, "We need to talk," the weight of those words lingering in the room like echoes of unspoken stories.

Wooyoung's entrance into the living room drew his father's surprised gaze. The initial attempt at a greeting lingered on his dad's lips, but Wooyoung's voice cut through the air before any words could be exchanged.

"I hate myself because I'm just like you," Wooyoung confessed, the weight of those words hanging between them. The room fell into an uneasy silence as his father's expression shifted, registering a mix of surprise and understanding.

With a resolve that seemed to stem from a place of self-discovery, Wooyoung continued, "I had a great marriage, but I selfishly broke it because I didn't know how to communicate, so I ran away." His head shook slightly, a gesture that echoed the internal struggle. "I don't want to run away from my problems anymore," he declared, a vulnerability in his voice that carried the weight of newfound determination.

Wooyoung fixed his gaze on his dad, the atmosphere in the room charged with emotions long left unsaid. As he spoke, a mixture of pain and defiance marked his expression.

"When you left, I felt happy until I saw how hurt Mom was," Wooyoung admitted, his voice carrying a tinge of resentment. The room seemed to tighten as he continued, "It made me confused why she would be sad over a judgmental loser like you—"

"Hey!" Mr. Jang interjected, rising from his seat, a reflexive defense against the sharp words.

Wooyoung, however, didn't back down. "All you did was criticize me and make me feel unloved," he stated, his words cutting through the charged atmosphere. The truth hung in the air, and Wooyoung wiped the tears from his eyes. The realization hit him hard—running away from issues, a selfish act born from the scars of his father's mistakes. It was a revelation that left Wooyoung grappling with the cyclical nature of pain and avoidance, a pattern he was determined to break.

"I hurt people who love me because I'm always scared that they'll hurt me first," Wooyoung's voice cracked under the weight of his confession. The vulnerability in his words echoed in the room, creating an uncomfortable yet honest atmosphere.

Sensing the heaviness in the air, his mother entered the living room. "Wooyoung," she said, walking to his side. But his eyes remained fixed on his dad, a silent confrontation of shared traits that both pained and angered him. The resemblance was a bitter reminder of the source of his struggles.

"My husband took me back, and we're working on our relationship, and I still don't trust him," Wooyoung continued, the admission hanging in the air. "When he trusted me, even though I cheated, lied, and pushed him away. I pushed my friends away and constantly messed up my relationships because you left me so damaged." The words carried the weight of accumulated hurt, a plea for understanding, and a reckoning with the consequences of a fractured past

"You made me like this, and I hate allowing you to ruin me. Mom did her best in raising me, and I still end up like you!" Wooyoung's voice echoed through the room, a mix of anger and frustration laced in his words. For the first time, his father allowed him to speak, yet his expression remained emotionless – a stark contrast to the storm of feelings unraveling in Wooyoung.

"Are you done?" His dad asked, the words cold and detached. His mother scowled at his dad, frustration etched across her face. Wooyoung shook his head, the turmoil inside him refusing to settle.

"I hate you, and I won't let you ever hurt me again," Wooyoung declared, the finality of his words hanging in the air. With that, he turned and left, the door closing behind him, leaving a lingering silence that carried the weight of unresolved emotions.

As Wooyoung left his parents' house, he knew that his problems weren't miraculously fixed with that confrontation. Yet, getting the last word felt like stitching up a small part of the wounded fabric inside him. He decided to accept and not dwell on why his mother allowed his father back into her life. What mattered now was that he would never forgive his father, choosing instead to focus on learning how to love and heal himself so he could be the best version of who he wanted to be.

Back in his apartment building, Wooyoung stepped into the elevator, mentally preparing himself for the solitude that awaited him. But just as the doors started to close, someone called his name. The elevator jolted to a stop, and as the doors reopened, there stood Juyeon, a figure unexpectedly emerging from the shadows.

"Juyeon, I made myself-" Wooyoung began, his confusion evident as Juyeon removed his hoodie, revealing himself. Before Wooyoung could finish, Juyeon interrupted, "I was out of line, and I know you never want to see me again, but I really care about you."

Juyeon's eyes sought Wooyoung's, and he tried to hold Wooyoung's hand. However, Wooyoung recoiled, reaching over to his neck. He took off his necklace that he got as a gift and handed it to Juyeon without a word.

"I'm sorry. We can't be friends. I want to focus on myself and my relationship," Wooyoung said, his gaze fixed on the elevator floor. The finality in his tone echoed in the confined space, leaving no room for misunderstanding.

"What does he have that I don't?" Juyeon's question hung in the air, his hand gently holding Wooyoung's chin to make him look. "Why do you look so sad?" he whispered, inadvertently causing a tear to fall. "You're not happy with him," Juyeon concluded, a conviction in his words.

Wooyoung shook his head, a mix of frustration and sadness clouding his expression. "That's not it, Juyeon. You don't know anything," he said, moving out of Juyeon's touch and pressing the elevator door to open. "Please, leave me alone," Wooyoung pleaded, looking away.

Juyeon gazed at Wooyoung one last time before the elevator doors closed, capturing a glimpse of the pain in his eyes. Wooyoung felt the weight of unspoken emotions crash on him as the doors sealed shut. Alone in the confined space, he couldn't hold back the tears, and the stress of life embraced him, leaving him to confront the overwhelming solitude and uncertainty that lay ahead.

Wooyoung stood alone in the elevator, contemplating reaching out to San. The urge to hear his voice, to find solace in their connection, tugged at him. However, a sense of responsibility and consideration held him back. He hesitated, not wanting to burden San with his turmoil when he knew San was already dealing with other challenges. It felt selfish to share his struggles when he was aware of the weight San carried on his shoulders.

As Wooyoung walked into his apartment, the familiar chime of his phone interrupted the heavy silence. A spark of hope flickered within him, wishing San was reaching out, but reality unfolded differently. The screen displayed a message from Juyeon, conveying his longing for a chance Wooyoung hadn't granted.

Wooyoung blocked Juyeon's number and turned off his phone to escape the constant stream of messages and emotional turmoil. The silence that filled his apartment gave him relief and helped him regain control over his emotions.