enough. woosan (wooyoung pov)

29

Wooyoung woke up with a heaviness in his chest, trying to push aside the memories of the previous night. His usual routine involved texting San in the morning, a comforting ritual that brought a sense of normalcy to his life. However, the method didn't provide the usual solace this time, as San's responses sounded distant and preoccupied.Determined to clear his mind, Wooyoung decided to go for a run on his day off from work. The rhythmic pounding of his footsteps was meant to drown out the tumult of emotions swirling within him. Yet, even the rhythmic cadence couldn't silence the thoughts of his father's return and the chaos that had unfolded.While jogging through his usual paths, Wooyoung suddenly ran into Juyeon. His immediate reaction was to avoid him at all costs. He quickly turned around and picked a different route to prevent any interaction. Despite the physical exertion, Wooyoung couldn't escape the mental strain. Glancing at his phone, he noted the absence of a message from San. Two hours had passed, and the silence gnawed at him. The need to hear San's voice became overpowering, prompting Wooyoung to make the call. However, his heart sank as the call went straight to voicemail, followed by a terse message: "I'm busy."The weight of the situation pressed down on Wooyoung as he stood there, catching his breath. The realization that even the familiar voice of the person he loved was slipping away fueled a sense of desperation and isolation. The run, intended to clear his mind, only deepened his ache.Wooyoung sought solace in the familiar haven of the dance studio. As he entered, the perplexed expressions of his teammates greeted him, surprised to see him on his day off. Wooyoung flashed a lighthearted smile, "Can't stop me from doing what I love, right?" he joked, masking the turmoil within him before heading towards an empty room.Once alone, Wooyoung decided to stretch, the rhythmic routine providing a semblance of control in the chaos of his emotions. He put on music, the beats resonating through the empty space. As he started to move, the fusion of music and movement became a cathartic release.Dancing, for Wooyoung, was a language of expression. It was his sanctuary, where he could be unapologetically himself. The movements were a form of self-discovery, a journey of embracing his identity.However, the tranquility was disrupted by an unexpected flashback. The echoes of his father's voice pierced through the music, a haunting reminder of a painful confrontation. The image of his dad yelling at Wooyoung to conform, to be like the other kids, resonated vividly. In the flashback, Wooyoung, in an act of defiance, screamed back, expressing his love for dancing.The memory played out, and Wooyoung felt a surge of emotions. His father, incapable of understanding, had rejected him and unclaimed him as his son, branding him as useless. The rejection cut deep, leaving Wooyoung to confront the lingering wounds from a past that had shaped him in ways he struggled to comprehend. As he danced through the emotions, the studio became a refuge and a battlefield, a space where he fought to reclaim his identity amidst the echoes of painful memories.Overwhelmed by the weight of memories, Wooyoung collapsed on the studio floor, his body shaking with sobs. The haunting recollection of his father's harsh words echoed in his mind, each syllable cutting more profoundly than the last. In the solitude of the dance studio, he confronted the painful reality of his past, and tears streamed down his face.As he lay there, the question of why his mother would betray him like that lingered in his thoughts. The betrayal seemed incomprehensible, a sharp contrast to the horrors he had endured at the hands of his father. The conflicting emotions created a whirlwind within him, tearing at the fragile seams of his understanding.The echoes of his father's disdainful words resurfaced, the command to stop being a crybaby reverberating in his mind. The whispered taunt fueled Wooyoung's determination to rise above the pain. He wiped away his tears, a silent promise to himself, and stood up.Wooyoung channeled his emotions into his movements, refusing to succumb to the darkness. The dance became a powerful release, a cathartic expression of the turmoil within. With each step, he defied the hurtful words of his father, reclaiming control over his own narrative.Finishing the dance with strength and resilience, Wooyoung let his emotions seep through the final movements. As the clock struck 7 o'clock, Wooyoung approached San's car with a warm smile, gratitude evident in his eyes. He knew how hectic San's work could be, and yet, he had taken time out to pick Wooyoung up from work. Wooyoung didn't want to burden San with his own problems, especially considering the challenges San was facing with his sick mother."I hope she's okay," Wooyoung expressed his concern, genuine worry etched on his face. Glancing at Wooyoung, San reassured, "She will be." Despite the attempt to comfort, they both knew the reality was far from okay.During the drive home, Wooyoung noticed the speed at which San was navigating the streets. It was a silent acknowledgment of the urgency that surrounded them, the unspoken understanding of their challenges.In the quiet confines of the car, Wooyoung contemplated sharing his struggles. He felt the weight of unaddressed thoughts and the absence of recent therapy sessions. Considering seeking help, he recognized the immediate need for his boyfriend's support.As they approached Wooyoung's house, he turned to San, eyes reflecting vulnerability. "Are you going to come inside?" Wooyoung asked, his voice carrying a subtle plea tinged with a hint of guilt. He was well aware of San's busy schedule, and the last thing he wanted was to burden him further. However, the yearning for company, for someone to chase away the lingering shadows, was too intense to suppress.San glanced at Wooyoung, sensing the underlying emotion in his question. After hesitating, Wooyoung relented, "Fine, okay," he said, exiting the car with a slight pout. He understood that San had responsibilities and didn't want to impose them.As Wooyoung stepped out, San, displaying a sense of consideration, told him to "hold on" and parked the car. The brief pause signaled San's willingness to prioritize Wooyoung's emotional well-being over the rush of the day. It was a meaningful gesture that spoke volumes about their connection and shared understanding."I'll stay for a little while," San told him, reassuring him gently. Wooyoung felt a mix of gratitude and guilt, wanting to be considerate of San's time and responsibilities."I mean, it's okay if you have something else to do," Wooyoung started to say, but San interrupted with a playful smile. He playfully nudged Wooyoung towards the entrance of his apartment, his touch light but firm."Come on, I've got a bit of time. Let's not waste it with you standing out here," San teased a glint of affection in his eyes. Wooyoung couldn't help but smile at San's playful insistence, appreciating the unwavering support even when life seemed to be in constant motion.----As the night unfolded, San unintentionally overstayed his planned visit with Wooyoung. The hours slipped away in the cocoon of their shared moments, laughter, and the quiet understanding that bound them together. Yet, as the morning light spilled through the curtains, Wooyoung woke up to find the space next to him empty, a sigh escaping his lips.A pang of annoyance cut through his grogginess. He had been looking forward to this moment, cherishing the time spent together, and waking up to an empty bed felt like an unexpected twist to his envisioned narrative. Still half-asleep, he noticed a blush creeping onto his cheeks as he recalled the condom he found in his pocket.The pain in his thighs, as he moved out of bed, was a bittersweet reminder of the passionate night they had shared. Wooyoung shuffled towards the shower, the water cascading over him, attempting to wash away the physical remnants and the emotional residue that clung to his being.Yet, as the warmth of the water embraced him, Wooyoung couldn't escape the surge of emotions welling up within. The tears came unexpectedly, silent sobs blending with the shower's steady rhythm. "Why am I so sad?" he whispered to himself, the acknowledgment of his emotions both confusing and unwelcome.He understood the reasons behind his tears - the intricacy of his circumstances, the unsaid obstacles they encountered, and the dread of past events happening again. The shower was his haven, a secluded place where he could come to terms with his emotions that he wasn't yet ready to face in the open.After the emotional release in the shower, Wooyoung decided to spend his day off at home, seeking a cocoon of solitude. Wrapped in a cozy blanket, he settled in front of the TV, the remote in his hand, and a decision not to engage with his phone for the day.The hours drifted by as he mindlessly flipped through channels, the background noise providing a comforting distraction. Wooyoung hadn't been on his phone all day, enjoying the respite from the constant stream of messages and notifications.During a commercial break, he entertained himself with a game on his iPad. As he unlocked the device, he noticed a series of messages from Juyeon waiting in his inbox. Wooyoung hesitated for a moment, contemplating whether he should read them. Eventually, his curiosity got better, and he opened the messages.Juyeon's words were an unexpected intrusion into his day of self-imposed isolation. The messages conveyed a desire to talk, to see him. Wooyoung's emotions stirred, a mix of surprise and uncertainty. The prospect of reconnecting with Juyeon brought a twinge of apprehension, yet there was an undeniable pull.Juyeon's request hung in the digital space, and Wooyoung found himself at a crossroads, torn between the comfort of solitude and the potential for a conversation that could alter the course of his day.Wooyoung, overwhelmed by the unexpected intrusion into his day of solace, rolled his eyes in frustration. He didn't want to deal with the complexities of real-life drama; he craved stress from the TV show he was watching, not the complications of his personal relationships. As he idly scrolled through messages, he spotted a text from his mom stating that his father had left. Wooyoung didn't bother to respond; it was just another layer to the chaos he wanted to avoid.Tossing his iPad aside, he snuggled against the couch, hoping to dull his thoughts by mindlessly watching the show. The steady drone of the television provided a temporary escape until an unwelcome knock echoed through his apartment.Annoyance crept over him. "Why can nobody leave me the fuck alone?" he muttered, contemplating the possibility of ignoring the disturbance. However, when he heard the persistent knock persisting, he reluctantly swung the door open, prepared to express his annoyance to whoever dared to interrupt.To his surprise, Juyeon stood on the other side. Wooyoung, caught off guard, quickly considered closing the door, but Juyeon moved faster, stepping past him and holding the door open, preventing any hasty attempts at dismissal. The unexpected visitor had entered Wooyoung's space, signaling the beginning of a conversation that Wooyoung wasn't sure he wanted to have."I don't want to talk," Wooyoung asserted, crossing his arms in a defensive stance. Juyeon, standing before him, pleaded, "You don't have to talk, just please listen."A subtle scent of alcohol clung to Juyeon's breath, immediately noticed by Wooyoung, who scrunched his nose in response. Concern flickered in his eyes as he contemplated the situation. Deciding to take action, Wooyoung pulled out his phone, intending to call a ride for the intoxicated visitor."You are drunk, Juyeon. Let me call you an—" Wooyoung's sentence was abruptly cut off as Juyeon, driven by a surge of unexpected energy, pinned him to the wall. The sudden move caught Wooyoung by surprise, his body tensing as he grappled with the abrupt change in dynamics. The atmosphere shifted, and Wooyoung's attempt to maintain control slipped through his fingers, leaving him uncertain and vulnerable."Juyeon," Wooyoung gasped as Juyeon leaned in for a kiss, but Wooyoung managed to move just in time. A sigh escaped Juyeon as he rested his head on Wooyoung's shoulder. "I tried to get over you," he slurred, his words heavy with unresolved emotions. Wooyoung sighed, a tinge of regret coloring his thoughts. "I wish you had chosen me and given me a chance.""I'm sorry, Juyeon," Wooyoung murmured, attempting to gently push him off. Juyeon complied, backing away, but not before noting, "You've been crying." Wooyoung averted his gaze; the truth is evident in his reddened eyes.Glancing at his phone, Wooyoung saw a message from Changmin: "Are you even happy, Wooyoung?""Yes!" Wooyoung snapped, his defensive tone betraying the lie. "It has nothing to do with San and me, so don't think about saying anything." Walking away from Juyeon, he headed into the living room, only to be followed by the persistent presence of his past."It makes me sad seeing you sad," Juyeon confessed, his words hanging in the air. Wooyoung rolled his eyes, frustration evident as he retorted, "You're making me sad, Juyeon." "Well, let me make you feel better," Juyeon suggested as he cupped Wooyoung's face, leaning in for another attempt at a kiss. Just as their faces were about to meet, Wooyoung pushed Juyeon away upon hearing the door open."Wooyoung, what the fuck is this?" San's voice cut through the tension, his heart pounding with confusion and concern."I'm not cheating, I swear. My friend just came here drunk; I promise, I promise, I promise," Wooyoung pleaded, desperation evident in his wide eyes. San could only stare, trying to comprehend the scene unfolding before him.The inebriated friend, Juyeon, managed to stumble to his feet, towering over San. He chuckled, "This is the guy? The one and only San?" The atmosphere thickened with unspoken tension as the three figures in the room grappled with their worlds' sudden and unexpected collision.Wooyoung's worst nightmare unfolded before him as San and Juyeon found themselves in the same room. The day had taken a turn for the worse, and the tension in the air was palpable. Fueled by conflicting emotions, the two men seemed poised for a confrontation over Wooyoung, a scenario he dreaded witnessing."San, please don't start. Go to my room. Changmin is picking him up," Wooyoung pleaded, hoping to diffuse the situation before it escalated. Juyeon, already slurring his words, attempted to explain, "He's told me about me and how I—"Wooyoung shot Juyeon a nasty look, cutting him off with a stern threat, "You say one thing, and I promise you I won't talk to you again, Juyeon."Under Wooyoung's unwavering gaze, Juyeon reluctantly sat back down, acquiescing to Wooyoung's warning. Sensing the urgency, Wooyoung seized San by the arm, leading him away from the brewing conflict and into the refuge of his room. The air outside held the tension of unspoken words, and Wooyoung couldn't help but feel the weight of the situation pressing down on him.Mentally bracing himself for San's potential explosion, Wooyoung could feel the tension in the air as he admitted, "I don't like him." San crossed his arms, a silent demand for an explanation hanging in the air."He's nicer when he's not drunk," Wooyoung defended, the words escaping him almost unintentionally. He sensed that San didn't care for excuses; Juyeon's presence had disrupted not only Wooyoung's evening but also San's peace of mind. As questions hung in the air, San demanded an explanation.Wooyoung explained Juyeon's unexpected intrusion and the circumstances that led to the awkward encounter. "It was out of line," he admitted, expecting San's reprimand. However, before he could finish, San interrupted, expressing his discomfort with the situation, "I don't think I want you to be friends with him."Hearing San's honest admission, it became apparent to both that the unresolved history between Wooyoung and Juyeon lingered, creating discomfort in the present. Wooyoung, hesitant but willing to prioritize San's feelings, finally nodded and apologized, "Okay, I'm sorry." The weight of the apology hung in the air, signaling a shift in their dynamics and raising questions about the complexities of their past.