Tiptoeing towards love

21

Kanimozhi

Waking up in my mama's hold had me feeling extremely happy. I wanted to bunk class and stay in his embrace until my heart was satiated. But unfortunately, mama kicked me out of the bed when I stubbornly gripped onto his torso. Well, not literally but he gave me a strict look that made me hop down the bed and carry on with my day.

At present, we are in the car and mama is driving me to my college. "Can't I bunk the class just for today?" I whine, turning on the seat and staring at my calm-faced mama. "No," I look at him with a displeased expression but his reply wasn't something that I unanticipated.

For the rest of the ride, I stay mute and relish the passing scenarios on the way to my college. Once mama pauses the car at the campus, I sling my backpack on my shoulder and press a kiss against my mama's cheek before hopping down the car.

Mama raises his eyebrows slightly, amused by my kiss. Throwing him a sly smile, I run inside the college.

During my walk to the class, I witness the senior brother on his regular spot and wave my hands at him with a friendly smile. He waves back and I stop beside him to talk to him. "Hi, brother!" I excitedly call and smile up at him. "Well hi..." He drags, slanting against the wall.

"I forgot to ask your name yesterday..." I trail off, wanting to be aware of his name. "Oh, that's fine. I'm Jagadeesh," I nod my head as an acknowledgment.

"...that guy who yelled your name the past day, is he your elder brother?" I widen my eyes and laugh at his misinterpretation. "No...he is my husband," I say softly and Jagadeesh gets surprised, his brows furrowing.

"You are kidding, right?" I look at him silently and seriously, shaking my head negatively. "Is it a forced marriage?" He questions, seeming genuinely concerned.

"No..." He looks utterly confused. "Then how did this happen? You loved him?" I nod my head at him.

"I'm not trying to be an advisor but Kanimozhi, you are still too young. The things that may appear right now won't be the same when you grow up. I know you're most likely to get impulsive by my words, but marrying someone, especially a very older person when you are merely a teenager is...quite complicated. You might be immensely in love with him now, but after a few years...he would start to get older and that would be the time when you will be blossoming into a beautiful woman. You might change, your feelings may alter and he probably would feel inferior to you regarding your youthful looks. I'm not bluffing and making up these issues. I've seen such things transpire to one of my cousin sister who had been married to a guy way too older than her. But indeed, there are people who live happily as well. However, I think it's important to be aware of both the benefits and demerits of such lengthy age-gap relationships," I blink at the Jagadeesh brother, unable to accept his words.

It's true what he has said. I wanted to bash at him and talk against his statement and defend my relationship. My brain is failing to analyze his words due to my stubbornness.

"...sorry If I scared you. But it's really important to know these things. At least now you would be able to tackle those problems when they might eventually occur in your relationship..." I absentmindedly bob my head and step back. "Okay brother then, class will be commencing soon," I excuse myself hurriedly and slow down when I was out of his view.

Did I make a wrong decision by marrying my mama? I've always been attracted to my mama since my childhood. I hadn't floated these thoughts aloud in my brain but there has always been this urge to see his face and be with him. One of the reasons was his appearance...

I don't wish to lie to myself and show myself in a good light by saying that I'm only in love with his character.

I've always tried to regulate myself because he is my maternal uncle and it's very inappropriate to entertain those desirous thoughts of mine regarding him.

And now I feel disgusted. Cause no matter how much I try to deny the truth...his looks played an important role in my love. I'm afraid my love will dissipate once the temporary beauty starts to fade.

No...!

I love him.

I love his heart and I adore the way he cares for me. I married him to keep him happy. I didn't really observe my decision to marry him thoroughly when I rashly took it. All I wanted was to see him smile from the bottom of his heart and be with him...

But I'm perplexed now. Would I change when I grow up?

Would my love for him disappear when he gets even older? Am I that horrible of a person to leave someone for the inevitable?

Even speculating about this in my head is making me feel terrible as an individual. I'm stressed out...

When I enter the class and sit beside Priya, she pinches my arm. "Why do you look so dull?" I shake my head at her, feeling crushed.

"May I ask you something?" She nods in approval to my question. "Is there any relation between looks and love?" Priya furrows her eyebrows and silently watches ahead, seemingly in deep thought about my query.

"...there is Kani, I will show you an example!" She rummages through her pouch and withdraws two pens. A blue one and a golden one. "Pick the one you like," I aimlessly select the golden one that looks more polished and eye-catching.

"Now, why did you choose that?" She asks calmly. "It's pretty," I shrug.

"Exactly. We pick what attracts us. Humans tend to judge everything from the exterior and it's completely normal. Many people name that attraction as love which is just immature..." She sighs sadly.

"What If that attraction is the one that runs a relationship?" Priya tilts her head at me with a small smile. "Write something on this book using the pen you choose," she urges and I do as she says with a dubious face.

"..Use this one to write another sentence," she gives me the blue shaded pen and I pen down my name on the paper.

"Tell...which pen would you choose now?" I raise the blue pen. "The golden one is rough to write but the blue one moves smoothly on the paper," I say what I felt while I was using both the pens to write.

"...and so, you will choose the blue pen to write an exam, right?" I nod my head busily. "Well, there it is Kani. The answer to your question," she grins.

I flicker my eyelids and think about what she was referring to.

"...Though you choose the golden pen due to its deceiving exterior, you couldn't use it because of its inability to act the way it's supposed to. You think an attractive-looking pen is better in its contribution than the simpler ones. Similarly, when you love a person for their looks, it will fade away when you get to know them thoroughly and see that their character isn't your cup of tea..." She explains earnestly and I continue her words.

"Likewise, some people are simpler in looks but have a great character just like this blue pen," Priya nods happily.

"And so, attraction can run a relationship when you're attracted to a person's personality, not their face. Beauty dissolves with time but the heart remains the same. While exceptions are always there, it's irrelevant now,"

"Wow," We both look back and find Sam sitting in the row behind us with his hands cupping his cheeks. His eyes are watching Priya with sparkles and I chuckle as I see where this is going...

Priya awkwardly turns around and I boom another question that knocks on my head. "What If the golden pen writes as beautifully as it looks?" As I ask that, Sam replies to me instead of Priya.

"Then you are very lucky. I rarely see people behaving as well as they look. And that doesn't mean simpler ones are always nice too. It's very puzzling, to be honest," I chuckle at Sam's aggrieved expression.

Thus yes, my Parthi mama is a rare one who looks and acts great and I'm going to love him till my last breath. His beauty may wither, but it won't make any difference in my love for him.
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Chapters 22 and 23 have been updated too❤