Kansas Summer

The Liar and The Lover

I leave Jenna with her parents in Denver, but unfortunately, my vacation is over.  After our plane ride together, it feels wrong to leave her now, but I have made sure to keep in touch with her and make sure that she keeps going to her counseling sessions.  After waving a long, sad goodbye, I shake my head and turn around, heading to Seattle, Washington, where I know I will never be happy because it isn’t where Jenna is.

I find that I didn’t miss much at work; now that our first presentation is over, the people in my department have become lazy.  My boss thinks that having me back in the office will speed things up, but he is wrong.  Everyone can see that I’m not myself.  I try to push them and be inspiring, but I can never make myself sincere.  I begin to stay up long nights before work just worrying about her.  I come into the office tired and I become uninterested in work.  The cycle doesn’t stop after a few weeks; it continues long into the spring, and into the early summer.

I do talk to Jenna regularly, but the news is never good.  Her therapy sessions are not working and she becomes more and more depressed every day.  I hear from her parents that she has mentioned suicide, but Jenna promises me that she will never do it; she is holding on for me.  My heart is torn between my job and the land and the woman I love.  I lie awake for nights, just thinking about my future.  Is it with Jenna or here in Seattle?  Prayers to God go up from me every evening before I get in bed.  I just want to know that everything will be okay.

I receive a temporary answer to my prayers in late July.  When I step in the door after a stressful day at work, my telephone rings.  I glance at the caller ID.  It says that the call is coming from New York City.  The first name that comes to mind is Alyse Bauer.  I haven’t talked to her in months.  I just feel so bitter towards her for lying about Jenna that I cannot bring myself to speak to her, but I pick up the receiver anyway.

“Hello?” I timidly say.

“Colin?  I have good news!  You will be super-excited to hear my proposition!”  The voice definitely isn’t Alyse’s.  It is Morgan.  I breathe a sigh of relief; I haven’t talked with my sister in a while either, and I’m happier to talk to her than Alyse.

“What’s the proposition?” I ask, a little confused.

“It’s about—ahem—Jenna.”  My eyebrows narrow.  What could she propose about Jenna?  “Well,” Morgan continues, “the hospital I’m working at is conducting research on AIDS patients.  We are finally beginning to understand the disease, and we need people to research cures on.  I was hoping that you could talk to her and ask if she could come up.  The cost of transportation and hospital stays will be reimbursed if she decides to take part in the project.”

I wish that Morgan could see the happiness on my face.  “I wish I could speak for Jenna, but I cannot definitively say that she will say yes.  I can give you her home phone.”

            “Is she still living with her parents?”

“Unfortunately, yes.  She has schizophrenia because of adjusting to normal life, so she is very dependent on her family right now.  I really think it would be a good idea for her to go to a larger hospital; she needs more care than is available out here.  How good are the resident psychiatrists?”

“We have a very good mental health wing; although I don’t know if that would be covered under the rules and regulations of the research project.  I can check that out.  Could I have their phone number?”

I give Morgan the Jackson’s number, but she hands the phone off to Nancy before she hangs up.  It is good to catch up; I have forgotten how special my family is to me.  When Nancy and Morgan have to eat dinner, we all say goodbye, and our hour-long conversation ends.  I smile as I touch the receiver back to its cradle, and head to my small kitchen to scare up some dinner.