The Castle of Gold [Bk 2]

ch.10 Golden eternity

We sat down in two sections: one side was black and the other was gold. We sort of looked like a mass of bumble-bees, or- some kind of human interpretation of Khalifa’s “black and yellow.”

“Welcome family, friends, and mentors of all ages. I am pleased to introduce to you, the graduating class of 2013” Cowell smiled.

Then he paused, giving time for applause and whistles. I glanced at the blur of faces, trying to spot out my beautiful but impatient knight in his leather armor.

“I’ve known most of these young men and women since they were in diapers and trying to balance a crayon in their chubby little hands” Cowell smiled and shook his head at the memories.

I swallowed hard at the word “diaper.” I hoped Harry could see my discomfort and realize what a stupid and impatient mistake he had made.

Becky looked at me and nodded, completely unaware, but excited for Liam’s speech and the after party.

“But they’ve grown. They’ve matured from their days of tattle-telling and doll playing. They’ve learned to listen to one another and listen in turn. They’ve amassed a world of knowledge in their still delicate hands, so eager to see the world. So eager to make their mark with those crayons they still clasp tightly in their hands” Cowell both reminisced and envisioned.

I could have sworn I saw the semblance of a tear in his eye, but I shook the idea away. Cowell doesn’t feel sadness of heartache; he makes you feel those things because he’s above them. He’s the school’s headquarters, the floating head that guides and directs, but doesn’t directly intervene.

And I’ve never seen Cowell teary-eyed and I wasn’t sure if I could start to cry with him or laugh at the fact that he might actually cry. (So I just let him continue his speech, for now).

“Now I could continue on for hours, but I would like to give you all a chance to hear about the past four years from the valedictorian himself, Mr. Liam Payne. Mr. Payne will be attending the University of Connecticut in the fall” Cowell grinned and Liam stood up.

They shook hands and Cowell sat down next to the rest of the administrators.  I couldn’t believe I wanted to say it, but I think I might actually miss him

I took a deep breath for Liam. For some reason, I felt more nervous for him than he even might feel.

He adjusted the mic nervously as he searched the crowd for Becky, since I had told him to look at one person, the one person he wanted to see.

“Thank you Mr. Cowell for reminding us of the special memories our parents still tease us with. I for one never tattled on anyone. Well, maybe David Costner, but he had stolen my black crayon” Liam grinned.

Laughter rippled lightly through the crowd.

I could see that Liam was still searching, slowly, casually searching.

Then he stopped.

But he didn’t stop on Becky, who was sitting two rows away from me, on my far left.

He stopped on me.

I turned my head slightly to the left and to the right, thinking that he was looking at his mom or dad or older brother, but he wasn’t. He was very, very clearly looking at-at me.

I looked at him for a moment and he smiled warmly, his golden smile.

I smiled sheepishly.

Maybe he was looking at me because I was the one who gave him the advice. Yeah, that makes more sense.

I glanced over at Becky and she was just smiling and laughing at Liam’s jokes as he continued his speech.

"Time" he began steadily and kept his eyes directly on me. 

"We try to run from it, try to manipulate it, try to we rewind and fast forward it. But what we essentially end up doing is wasting it" Liam expressed carefully.

He didn't waste a moment looking down at his speech, the way he was watching me, it was almost like the speech was written on my face. 

"I have spent 18 years living in Eastland, New Jersey. 18 years is almost two decades. It's almost a quarter of a century. It's a long time if you think about it" Liam laughed lightly. 

"But there's that word again: 'time'. We think we know how to measure it so we can run from it, manipulate it, rewind and fast forward it. But we don't. And that's the hidden beauty of time" Liam explained.

"And it's in that in that beauty of infinity that we find eternity. It's that one moment where you close your eyes and imagine yourself in Narnia, fighting the evil White witch and befriending centaurs. It's in that moment when you hold that crayon and draw the world as you saw it when you were 8 and now, when you're 18" he began raising his voice to add to the drama of his climaxing words.

My chest tighten.

It wasn't until he took a breath that I realized I had been holding mine.

Liam returned his glance on me.

"It's in that one golden moment when the sunsets and you watch the horizon, but then you blink and it's all over" he shook his head, but didn't dare take his eyes off me.

"I don't want to blink anymore. I don't want time to leave me for the midnight black sky. I want her to be mine forever. I want her back because she was mine to begin with. And though she left, I never let go" he lowered his voice to a soft purr.

"I never let go of her, my golden eternity" he whispered.

I looked into his eyes, waiting for him to blink or laugh or something to show me that he meant something else, someone else. 

But he didn't do a single thing but look straight into my eyes.

I swallowed hard and fidgeted with a lock of my hair. 

The crowd clapped and cheered and Liam grinned his winning golden grin. Then he walked off the stage and took his seat a row away from me. 

Golden eternity...I repeated in my head. I thought about Harry's rash and impatient eagerness earlier today and I immedaitely felt horrible for having yeled at him. He was trying to make the most of a moment, hoping to make us a golden eternity.

I shook my head. But there's no such thing as a golden eternity.