The Castle of Gold [Bk 2]

ch.52 Two and two

My hand trembled slightly in his.

Harry rubbed the back of my hand softly with his thumb, urging me to give him an answer. He looked up at me with the most innocent and hopeful "Bambi" eyes I had ever seen. He was even better than me.

I opened my mouth slightly as I tried to form some sort of word, but I couldn't. I had forgotten the difference between "yes" and "no." 

All I could do was stare at his lips as I tried to convince myself that he hadn't asked me those few words...

But why would I do that? Why wouldn't I want Harry to make us more official, make our relationship recognized by the law and not just our hearts? He had given me his hand, his heart, and was now offering his name. Why was it so difficult for me to put two and two together?

This-this ring only physically shows others that we belong to each other. (Even though Harry already makes that very clear when we are out together).

 I swallowed hard.

"Nes" I mumbled.

"No?" he asked softly, and clouds of disappointment hovered in his eyes. 

"No" I shook my head quickly as I started to correct him.

Harry tightened his grip on my hand and tugged slightly until I was a bit closer to him. He looked up at me slowly.

I blinked. In place of Harry's dark green marbles were tiny crinkles by warm honey-brown pools.

I saw Liam.

Suddenly, I felt like there was an inescapable cage around my ribs, containing my raging heart and making me that much more claustrophobic.

I saw Liam when he was about 8 years old, nervous but sweet as he held his toy ring out for me.

Then I shook my head quickly and my legs urged me to run back home to Danny, just like I had when I was 8.

I took a half step back. 

"Angela" he asked. Worry grew and mixed with Liam's smooth voice and Harry's deep rasp.

I blinked a few more times and rubbed my eyes as I tried to erase Liam’s face from taking over Harry’s.

“Angie?” Harry spoke louder now.

I stared at my shaking hand being held by Harry and fought the initial urge to pull away, just like I had with Liam when we were kids.

But, just as I thought I might go completely insane in my flashback, Harry’s rasp returned and the grey brooded over the green in his eyes.

I sighed in relief.

Harry stared at me with wide and eager, but also hopeless eyes. I could taste the blood shooting through his veins, filling him with anger, but mostly disappointment.

 Shook my head quickly and took a deep breath.

"I mean...yes" I finally answered coherently.

Harry stared at me a moment as he waited for Ashton Kutcher to come out with a dozen hidden cameras. But no one was watching us. No one was pressuring or controlling us except for ourselves. We had the right to give ourselves to each other and that’s exactly what Harry had just done.

Harry searched my eyes for validation of my words.

“Yes, Harry I will marry you” I repeated more clearly.

Harry blinked. Then he exhaled loudly. I think we had both been holding our breath until that moment.

He put the ring on my finger and kissed my hand softly. Then he placed my hand over his heart. I felt the erratic beats start to soothe and relax.