Zex's Random Writings

☆Shadows - OCs☆

Tw: depression??? Sorry this might be cringe/inaccurate its old :(

Object oc but thats not rlly important in this oneshot or whatevr

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  Everyone has a shadow.

  This was how I met mine.

  School was pretty hard for me. Sure, I had fun, but it was difficult to keep up. I was good at most of the 'hard' subjects, but on the others, I was a bit... lacking, to say the least. Whenever I tried to ask for help, I was told that I was 'better than this', that I should know these things since I knew the 'harder' stuff. Either that, or... I was straight up ignored.

  Heh.

  Most people in school avoided me, and if not, it was just to mess with me, mess with my feelings. I understand though, I never really talked all that much. I only spoke when needed, or when someone else started a conversation. I'm not really interested in whatever people normally talk about. I prefer to talk about maths, science, psychology... any of my interests, really. But when that happens, I always feel as if I open up a bit too much, spewing out facts left, right and centre like a rapper rapping out song lyrics. This, along with the fact that most people aren't interested in physics and whatnot, is enough to drive most people away.

  I often went home exhausted, wanting nothing more than to collapse on my bed and just go to sleep. But I had homework, assignments, so I stayed up. And when I did get to sleep, it felt like heaven.

  When I go to sleep, I go to this blank void. The only thing there is the ambient background noise. It's quite peaceful, actually. I never really liked the loud, chaotic classrooms. Things in the void work differently, you could jump up and land on another invisible platform, or step down onto a lower level even when there's nothing there. I've tried to make sense of it, but all my results are fruitless. The calculations seem to change every time. 

  I also realised that the usual dark reflection that followed me around was no longer there.

  The horizon stretches on forever, light coming from seemingly nowhere. Or can we somehow see without light in here? I don't know, it's all very confusing. Either way, shadows weren't present. 

  Midway through the term, I felt myself emotionally spiral down into a deep, dark pit. I'd end up sleeping by my desk whilst I tried to finish assignments, they were either rushed or unfinished. I didn't like that. I didn't like that at all, and I hated myself for it. But sleeping felt so good. When I went to sleep, all the sorrow and fatigue would be cleansed from my body. It felt so freeing.

  There was another strange thing though.

  I started seeing something in the corner of my eye. It was red, and seemed to be following me around. I tried to catch it multiple times, but it was too fast. I decided to just leave it be, I had enough problems already anyways. So I kept to myself, and it stayed where it was. Sometimes I almost forget it's there. Actually, at one point I did. Until one day.

  It was another day of being ignored like usual.

  I felt particularly down that day — though I couldn't tell why. Throughout the day, things got worse. Being scolded, bullied, I was sick of it all. I was sick of everything. Once I got home, I immediately went to sleep.

  In the void, there was a black figure.

  It had a pair of familiar red eyes.

  It looked like me. 

  "You...You're my shadow."

  "I guess you could put it that way..."

  It sounded like me.

  "Are you the one who has been stalking me all this time?"

  "I woke up here one day. I always feel horrible. I don't know what's going on."

  That feels like something I would say.

  "You're... depressed."

  "I know."

  Silence.

  "... I've been... thinking. For a while. And I think I know what's going on." It shuffled around, crossing its arms. "I'm your depression."

  "So that's why..."

  "Yes, when you're here, I get separated from your body. Hence, you feel less...stressed, here."

  "..."

  After that day, I started to spend more time sleeping. I wanted to find out more about this weird phenomenon, I wanted to learn more. My grades plummeted further — but I didn't care, not anymore. The more time I spent in the void, the more time I spent talking with my shadow, the more I understood about myself. Why I feel this way, or how I did certain things. But I knew I couldn't keep doing this forever. So we made an agreement.

  "I sort of wished you didn't have to go."

  "But I have to."

  "You've helped me understand so much..."

  "Well, technically we're the same person so technically it was all you even though we're separated here... you know what I mean."

  "Mhm.."

  "...Take care of yourself, okay?"

  "I will."

  So I did. 

  Everyday from then on I started taking small steps to improve, it was just little things at first but slowly I started to rise once more. My grades were raised once again and I stopped caring what others think. Slowly, they would get more and more transparent.

  "...I think, I'll be gone soon."

  "I used to feel much better whilst here but... now I just feel like this all the time...I can't believe how much has changed."

  "Mhm..."

  "...Goodbye, Shadow."

  "..Keep going on..."

  I haven't seen them since.