The life of a madman

Ask yourself...

No more dancing around the bush. Either walk away or set it on fire and see what monsters come out. But I'll warn you now, you ain't gonna like what you find.

I don't see anything in your cold dead eyes! All I nerdish use something. It dent have to be much, but just enough to make me understand. Why do you always leave then come back. Make e me understand! But no. Of course you won't. You can't even hear me right now. You have your back turned and your legs swinging. So I guess there isn't much I can say. But sometimes you have to ask yourself, "do I keep trying to reach out, or is it time to rely on myself?" You ask me to believe and I really do want to but you make it impossible to do so! Your the only one who will never leave me but every time I need you, you always have your back turned to me! When I need your help your never there. But when you are your only there to criticise and judge. So what good are you! You make this so hard when it's just black and white. So why go around making all of these dark areas? Why make things more complicate? I just need you to make me understand!! Just see it through my eyes, just see yourself. Through the eyes of a peasant, onto the body of something so beautiful. So bewildering. So breath taking. And to have it all snatched from his hands by his own selfish greed. To have a child's favourite toy and setting it ablaze In front of them. Yet I was the child, the adult, the Toy and the fire. I can finally see clearly, unburdened by emotions towards anybody. To be so cold, so dead, yet still draw breath. All of these feelings, and yet none at all. To walk among the living, yet feel like an outcast. Walk on your own, by yourself. The silence, it is a warm feeling. The pain of love, gone. The anguish of seeing those I love being hurt and being powerless to stop it, just....disappears. If only for a moment, relish it. Live and breath that moment, hold into it with all the strength I posses. The lengths I would go to, just to get away from you. From all of the drama, cold nights, dark hallways, dense forests. I turned my back on the talking, I left your cold embrace and burn down your forest!! All of this. All of it!! Just to be rid of you!! For only a moment. And yet all the times I needed you, you where gone. Just, poof!! Nowhere to be found.

I'm not looking for attention, sympathy, empathy, friendship, intimacy. I just want my message to get across, and to be spread. Shouted so loud that the deaf can hear the echo as if it was the beating of their own hearts. So the blind can see nothing, but be able to see everything that anybody else cannot!! Being able to dance with the stars, sleep on the clouds and live and fall in love with their own dream world. Their own fantasy. Until someone takes it all away, and gives you a cold dark padded cell. Constantly being told "your not fit for the outside world". I myself have never been in that position, but I wouldn't wish it upon anybody. I can show you a world that you've never even dreamed of. You just need to have faith, and take the first step into my arms. You have to look through my eyes, touch through my hands, walk with my feet, speak with my words, feel with my body, feel the beat of my heart, as it beats with yours. A rhythm of beats. The rhythm of a life. And with a snap of the fingers, the whisper of a voice, the wave of a hand, the blow of a whistle, the alarm of a timer, could end that rhythm. It could end that song. That beautiful, independent, special song. Doesn't matter if it was a housewife, a lousy drunkard, the queen or her guard. No one is immune to this song. We all dance to it, day after day after day. We all sing to it's tune, yet we all have our own lyrics. We each have our own taps of the cymbals, hits on the drums, drums of the guitar, words from the piece of paper that we hold in out hands as we nervously line up behind the stage, waiting for that dreaded sound, calling us to the stage. Calling us to sing our song. And when that beat starts, come out swinging or your going to love in a world of hurt. Because once your lyrics get scribbled out, there's no getting them back. Once you speak, sing, rap or mumble the lyrics, once it's out there. No one can take it back. So go over your lyrics, match them with your beat. And when it's your turn, when your called up to the ultimate stage. Your song will end. And when it does, will your words make an impact? Will it leave them wanting more? Will it cause any disturbance or make any difference? The answer is yes. Because at the end of the day, were all different. And no one....has heard your song before.