The life of a madman

Glass

Glass is a lot of things. A window, mirror, protection, beautiful, A cage. You can see through it, but you can surpass it. Your stuck on the inside, dying to break out.

Life can end as quickly as it started.
Like a hot breath on a pane of glass or a mirror, it fogs up and then it's just gone. Like it was never there in the first place. A world without you or I would still be a world full of them and they. The world would still go around with out us but without us the world wouldn't be as bright or as colourful. Tash you are the prime example of a world without colour. Your cold, lifeless stares, blaming everyone else for your pain and misery, never once having the guts to take a look at the breath that you took and the words that followed. Your words hurt, but they don't hurt me. My words hurt, but they hurt only you. You take on board what everyone says and try to change to fit in. But that's not what living Is about. Living, is about being yourself and finding out who you are and I know who you are tash. You, are Natasha curran. No one else, no one less. But if there was a world with out any of us, would it still be a world? Or just another lifeless planet? We make ourselves unique, we make ourselves special and we make ourselves stand out. You make your self try to fit in and blend. Guilt and self hatred only get in the way of true change. They block you from having fun with those that you love and that is the issue. People are always doubting themselves, saying that they can't do this it they can't do that, just because people say they can't. People say that I don't mean anything to anyone, yet I am the one who cares about me. My friends care about me, my family cares about me and my girlfriend cares and loves me, and I her. The cold, lifeless world that we, our generation is preventing, is avoiding. We cannot be saved, because there is no one to save us, but ourselves. And the sooner we realise that, the less we will need saving, and the more saving we can do. But, we are limited, we cannot save others. We can cast them something to keep them afloat, but they have to climb aboard. You can either swim to the closest ship, or out to sea, hoping and praying someone will save you. Hoping that someone will care enough to pull you from the dirt and brush you off, clean you up and give you everything. I'm telling you now, they can pull you up, but you have to clean yourself, make a name for yourself.

Life can begin and end, in the blink of an eye. It can change forever with the breath of a single world, the movement of a single action or the pull of a single trigger. A single life is the most precious thing in the world, but a planet full of lives, is worthless. Because if one life means nothing, then all lives mean nothing. Everyone and anyone are your equals. No one is better than you, smarter than you, quicker then you, stronger then you. No one is as beautiful as you are. No one shares your smile, your face, your eyes, your pain, your scars, your fears. But all of those things are what make you beautiful. They make you unique and special. Worthy of standing out. You are beautiful, in whatever you do. Because whatever you do, represents you. Whatever you do is apart of you, a piece of you. Only you can see out of your eyes, feel what you feel, taste what you taste, smell what you smell and think how you think. Only you can mean what you say and if you don't say what you mean then what is the point of speech? Who ever put us here, did so with the knowledge and power of giving us the freedom of speech. Gave us a voice that can and will only be silenced by yourself. You and you alone are in control of what you say and do and how you act and think . So ask yourself if your life, if your blood is really worth spilling over a voice in your head. Is it really worth those scars because someone said your not good enough. But what are you supposed to be "good enough" for? To be the president, or a navy seal? A baker, or a library keeper? A groundskeeper or a janitor? You control your voice, your thoughts, your life. So live it your way because it could stop, just as quickly as it started.

You can either run from things, or you can face them. Now I hope, tash that you don't expect any sympathy from me. You dug this hole that your in now. The cold stares, the passing comments, the guilt trips, the blame. I want it to stop. I need it to stop before this goes any further. I'm trying to not lash out but your making it hard. I've held off so long for bries sake, but if you keep pushing, I'll push back. But I know one day you'll get yours. You'll get what's coming to you. Wether it's tomorrow, or 10 years down the track.

A single breath can grant someone the vital seconds to speak. A single breath can give someone a voice, give them a second to speak the forbidden words. Taboo words that must never be spoken. Words of feelings, telling people how we feel. Because we were all taught never to spread our feelings. Never leave yourself vulnerable. When I say taught, I don't mean from books or from a lecture from mum or dad or your sixth grade teacher. I mean from yourself, and the pain it's caused you. Self-taught, adaptation, survival. But what's the point of survival if your not even alive? What's the point of living if your not alive? Survival is about staying alive, for a purpose, a cause. When I say life can end in a second, I don't just mean physical life, your heart ceases to pump, your lungs stop taking air, your blood comes to a standstill. I mean you being pushed down, again and again and again, until you can't get back up. Your blood is still flowing, your lungs still work, your heart still beats, but it doesn't have a purpose to beat. You constantly ask yourself "why?"

The greatest loss of life isn't death it's self, it's what dies on the inside
-Tupac Shakur

So the definition of living is to be alive. Inside and out. To have a reason fight, a reason to live, a reason to write. If you can't find something to live for, find something to die for.
-Tupac Shakur

Your cold dead eyes looking into mine, as your breath fades away. As your mirror clears and you can finally see who you really are, but it's too late. You can finally, finally see who you are. How we see and perceive you. But now it's too damn late, you can't do a thing to change. This is no wake up call, this is just to let you all know that you are all different in other peoples eyes, and through mine you are all different. You might talk the same, look the same, act and think the same, but none of you are. You can strive and try to be like someone else. Try to live in their shoes and see through their eyes but at the end if the day you are who you are. And ask yourself who the hell that is. Because you gotta find out be fire the candle goes out and the mirror clears up and that, that is when you will find out. But it doesn't have to be that way. Look through my glass pane, and see how much of it is the pain you caused. See how much you hurt, burnt and destroyed me. See how easily I moved on because of that. Now it's not your name I'm writing in love hearts, it's not your name I think of constantly, it not you I picture laying with me, holding my hand and falling asleep with. It's not you, who I can never wait too see. And now there is nothing left for us to talk about.

Life is for the living. The air is for breathing. Your blood is for pumping. You, are for doing the impossible.