The life of a madman

The life of a madman 9

I don't wanna say goodbye. But sometimes things just don't go the way we plan them. You can prepare for the worst but when the day comes...god help us. People change. Everything changes. Enjoy the silence as it takes over. For the voices of others will be forever shut out. Can't you understand? I want to tell you everything. I want to pour my heart out to you. But they won't let me.

Your so cold they say. You need help they say. You can't do this on your own they say. You need to cool down. I've been acting most my life. I've been pretending all these years and now...I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what it's like to be me. And the thought of that, just...really annoys me. Not knowing what it's like to be...me. Not knowing who I am. I've been pretending to fit in. I'm not sure what it's like to be me. They all call us cold, but why? Why do they call us that? I'll tell you, my child. It's because, you would do anything to see the people you love safe. But I'm not cold. Oh...yes you are my child. You just don't see it yet. The moment your faced with a challenge, the moment you have a problem in your way, you just sit and cry while you wait for someone to come and solve your problems. Your cold, my child. Your dreams, your fascinations, there not normal. Fantasies of our family in a hearse? No one should see that. And the moment that...one of your, friends, family or anyone is in danger or needs help, you will do anything to help them. But if they don't accept your help? If they don't want you? What then? I don't know. That's their choice. If they don't want my help? So be it. But know this. When I'm gone? Just carry on. Just remember that I'm watching you. Smiling at you. You look in my eyes and I'm stripped of my pride. I'm not strong enough to stay away. Just know one thing. I tried...