It's only been a day since we said goodbye for the last time
A day since we agreed that we should have no contact
I've spent the entire day missing you
missing the way I never felt more alone with you than without you
Missing the way you'd show me you need me instead of just telling me
Missing the way you would say my name against my collarbone and tell me how beautiful I was
Missing the way you begged to touch me to worship me
You've been for 6 years
And from the very beginning there was a part of me that you owned wholly and a part of you that I kept in my palm
We fell in and out of love with others but we always kept each other sacred
I kissed him and I imagined he was you when I got on my knees
You told me about how she tasted and said that you don't think you'll ever crave another as much as me
We could never fully give ourselves to another because there was a part of us that belonged to the other
Because we loved each other just as much as we knew we weren't right for each other
Despite that in the end I never really wanted anyone as much as I wanted you
And now I live thousands of miles away and I'm seeing you for the last time
You said I can't live with you on my mind I said you can't live with me on yours
You deserve to be happy
I do too
our love and desire trumps friendship every time
I fell in love and I'll love you till I don't feel sick to my stomach to see you
I can't see you
So Ill miss you
But you're the only one I want to talk to about how empty I feel without you
I don't miss you because I think we made the wrong choice
I miss you because I know we made the right one
You're gone and anything I do to jeopardize that hurts you as much as it hurts me
I want you to come back but I'll turn you away if you do
I want to come back to you But I don't want to sit outside a door I shut myself begging you to let me in
