brothers.

77~ A Moment of Peace

Diana

Tony and Addie were waiting for me in the arcade. Tony decided that, instead of Winter Formal, we could merely hang out and play games. It was a lot more relaxing and it would keep my stress in check. I felt particularly calm today, despite the trial being in less than two weeks. I decided to let Lonnie rest for today.

It was Leap Day, giving me one extra day to forget about the trial and focus on something nice. I entered the building, passing many arcade games playing music and beeping insistently, as if calling to the passersby to give them a try.

Tony and Addie waited at the snack bar, Tony with a soda and Addie with a chocolate chip cookie. The girl waved enthusiastically, wiping the crumbs from her mouth, and ran to me for a hug.

"Glad you could make it," said Tony.

"After all this time? I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"We want to play..." Addie spelled out a game name, but I couldn't keep up with the letters. "You like driving?"

"Driving?" I signed 'drive', furrowing my brows questioningly.

"She wants to play the go-kart game over there." Tony pointed to said game in the corner.

"Oh... duh." I laughed. "Yeah, sure. I've never really played one before, but it's worth a shot."

"We bought ten tokens each." He handed me a pouch with coins. "So ten games. Unless you're hungry?"

"I'm good. Let's play." I took Addie's hand, letting her lead me to the go-kart game.

It was a lot harder than it looked. The steering wheel was very sensitive. Addie was quite competitive, laughing and sticking her tongue out at us whenever she set a trap or passed us in the game. I wound up in last place, behind all the NPCs, which was a bit embarrassing.

"Diana..." Tony snickered, pretending to scratch his nose. "No offense, but... you're supposed to drive forward."

I gave him a look. "These things are ridiculous!" I pointed at the wheel.

"You were turning it all the way! Like this." He turned his wheel all the way to the right, imitating me. "You're supposed to turn it slightly."

"I did turn it slightly." I pouted.

"No, you didn't." He let himself laugh, triggering Addie to snicker with him.

I glared at them. "Mean."

We moved on to many other games; air hockey, Space Invaders, pinball, and more. Addie's competitive spirit was fierce. I wasn't sure how Tony handled it. She acted cool whenever she lost, but I could tell she did not like it. Tony was the same, to some extent, maybe a bit less intense. Maybe it ran in the family.

The last tokens were used on the elusive claw machine, which ended in a miraculous victory. I won Addie an adorable unicorn Squish Plushie. She was ecstatic, hugging me over and over again. She named it Dee-Dee.

We stopped at the snack bar after all our tokens were used. I ordered some fries and ketchup. Tony snacked on cotton candy with his sister.

"I'm really glad we could finally... you know, spend time with each other," he said.

"I am, too. I'm so sorry I've been so... weird lately."

"I get it. You have a lot going on."

Our first awkward pause. I sighed. "Go ahead."

"What?"

"You can ask."

He hesitated. "You sure?"

"I feel good today. And with you, I feel like... I feel like I can handle it."

Addie took notice of our expressions as we gazed at each other. She smiled, swallowing her cotton candy, and made kissing noises. Tony smeared some candy on her nose, causing her to gasp and giggle, cleaning her nose with a napkin.

"So, Kate and Thelma are testifying, too?" he then asked me.

"Yup... I guess on the one hand, I won't be alone." Tony interpreted my words for Addie. "I just feel kinda scared that so many people I know are involved in this. Them, my 'cousins'," —I made quotes with my fingers— "my... Pat and Kim. People I thought I'd never see again. I thought I'd go the rest of my life without having to... face them. I can't even think about seeing him without remembering all he did to me. All everyone did to me... I don't want him to take me back."

"He can't take you back," Tony said.

"What if he does? What if somehow, some way, I screw up... and then he goes free, and he tries to take me away from my family-"

"Hey, you're doing it again." He put his hands on my shoulders. Addie put her cotton candy down, then came up to me and hugged me.

"I just don't want him to mess up my life again."

Addie tapped on my shoulder, a serious look on her face. "Listen," she signed slowly, letting me understand her. "I know I don't have the same experiences as you. But I have people in my life that hurt me. People that, if I saw them again, I'd remember when they'd pull my hearing aid out of my ear, or when they yelled in my ears, or didn't let me play with them at recess. At my school now, there are mean kids that make fun of me, too."

My heart broke. I'd never understand how people found joy in hurting others that never did anything wrong. I saw some reason in the way people treated me; I was no angel. But Addie? She was so sweet. Were kids really that shallow?

"I know it's easy to say it doesn't bother me. But it does. It hurts. A lot." Her eyes watered and her lips mouthed her words, her voice quietly whispering alongside her signs. "And if I see them... it will make me mad. But that's what they want." Her eyes then hardened. "They want you to still hurt. They want you to be scared of them." She took my hand, squeezing tight. "You will be scared, and angry, and hurt. But don't let them know that. Look them in the eye, and tell them you won't let them hurt you. Not anymore. That man hurt you. He won't now. You will help put him in jail. You have the last word."

"I just don't want to mess it up," I said quietly, signing.

"You won't!" she nearly shouted, signing fiercely. "You will tell your story. You will be heard. You will speak, and you will tell them how bad he is. And he will go to jail. For good. Don't say you will mess it up, because you will, if you don't believe. I believe in you. Tony believes in you. God believes in you." She squeezed my hands and said, "You believe, too."

I couldn't help crying when she hugged me. I suddenly felt embarrassed about my meltdown. She was right. I couldn't stay small and pathetic forever. I had to show them they couldn't hurt me... even if I was lying. I couldn't give them that satisfaction. I wouldn't.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Addie then signed, running off. Tony sat close to me, putting an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry about this," I said, sniffling.

"You don't have to be sorry. You shouldn't apologize so much," he said.

"I know. You're right." I wiped my eyes.

"Diana, know that I'm being 100% serious when I say this." His brown eyes fixed on mine. I never noticed how rich the color was, like pure dark chocolate. "We're always gonna be here for you. Anytime you want to text, or call, or vent... you tell me. I want to be there for you."

I swallowed, my heart quickening. I kind of regretted not bringing Lonnie. "I don't get how you guys... I've ignored you, gone days without talking to you, canceled plans. How do you guys still take time for me?"

"Because I think you're an amazing person that's worth that time. You're a strong girl that's been through a lot."

I only hugged him, unable to say anything else. The immense comfort I felt was like no other. I felt like I could do anything if he was around.

I could do this. I could put Pat away for good. He wouldn't hurt me. Or anyone else.

Thoughts on Tony and Addie? Ships?