The Obstacles of Love

Chapter eleven

We walk out of the school and climb into his car. I stare out the window the whole way to my house. Was Johnny just with me to get back at Sam? If he was he wouldn’t be trying to sleep with me would he? He’s not that cruel. Even to get back at Sam that’s taking it too far. Katie wouldn’t let him string me along like this and she must know if that was his plan. Then again… she didn’t know that Mary and Johnny hadn’t slept together. How much does she really know about what he’s doing?

            We stop at CVS and Johnny runs inside to get condoms. He’s back in a few minutes and tosses them into my lap. My eyes widen at the box. “Why do we need 36?”

            He shrugs. “This way we won’t have to buy anymore for a while. If we do it once we’re going to be doing it other times.”

            I blush. I hadn’t thought about it. We get to my house quickly and we go inside. Johnny’s lips are on mine before the front door is even closed. I pull away though. “Can I just have those few minutes?” I ask him.

            “Yeah.”

            I turn and run to the bathroom. I climb into the shower and shave my legs quickly. I wash myself with soap after so that I will smell good and then I climb out. I stare at myself in the mirror before wrapping a towel around myself. I decide that I should probably brush my teeth. I don’t want to taste like milk, which is the last thing I've had today. When that’s done I think about putting my sweater dress back on but what’s the point? He’s just going to take it right back off. I take a few deep breaths and pull my hair from the ponytail I put it into so it wouldn’t get wet. Then I walk out of the room. This is it.

            Johnny is lying on my bed. His clothes are on the floor and the blanket is covering his lower half. He smiles when he sees me and pats the bed.

            Really no foreplay. I walk over holding the towel so it doesn’t fall. He pulls me onto the bed and I find myself under him. His legs are on either side of mine and his arms are propped next to my head. “Are you ready?” He asks me.

            No, no, no, no, no, no. “Yes.” Anything he wants. He kisses my neck and I bury my face into his shoulder. Oh no, I wasn’t ready for this. It’s too much. I grip his back as my breathing picks up. I try to keep it from reaching the hyperventilating point.

            I close my eyes tight as his lips roam my upper body. My face stays in his shoulder. How bad was this going to hurt? Was he going to take a long time to finish? Would he go slow?

            “Summer,” He sighs.

            I was starting to shake and as much as I tried to stop it from happening but I couldn't. He kisses below my ear. I can’t stand the suspense. I just wanted to get this over with. “I thought you said no foreplay,” I say. I try to sound joking but it comes out strained.

            “You’re right, we should just jump right in. I want you so bad,” He groans.

            I want to cry as his hands tug at my towel. I wasn’t ready. My fingers are digging into his back as I wait to feel him pull off my towel. To force my legs open. To go from there. Only he doesn’t.

            My towel stays where it is and he props himself up so that I can no longer put my head into his shoulder. I try to open my eyes but can’t. Instead I turn it into the pillow. “What are you waiting for?” I ask him.

            “Summer, please look at me.”

            I can’t. I feel tears pricking at my eyes. I can’t do this but I can’t get myself to stop him. I tug at the towel myself and pull it free. I’m naked below him, or as much as me that can be, he’s on some of the towel stopping it from opening. “Please, just do it already.”