Rafe Cameron Imagines

never again

You loved Rafe.

You really did.

He was the first person you had ever loved, the first man to make you feel good about yourself, to make you step out of your comfort zone and be more adventurous. The first man to show you what real love felt like.

But that person was gone.

The Rafe that you were in a relationship with wasn't the Rafe you had fallen in love with anymore. You often found yourself looking at your boyfriend and not even recognizing the person staring back at you.

He had changed, he let the drugs do so much irreparable damage to his soul that he didn't know who he was anymore. 

That was the main reason why you had decided to end your relationship. You had to do it for the sake of your well-being, not trusting your safety when you were around Rafe like you used to, once upon a time.

The perfect moment for the talk came harder than you thought it would, but you had got lucky when you caught him sober one night, scrolling away on his phone.

You firstly cleared your throat, hoping to get his attention.

When that didn't happen, him having not moved an inch, you scooted closer to him on the bed, laying your hand on his arm.

"Rafe"

He finally looked up, shutting his phone and throwing it somewhere on the bed.

"What's up?"

"We need to talk"

You could feel his muscles tense slightly under your touch, the words that came out of your mouth never leading to a pleasant conversation.

"About what?" he didn't want you to see that he was shitting his pants on the inside, trying to keep his cool and act nonchalant.

"Us" you smiled sadly, taking your hand off of his arm.

"What about us? We're fine"

"No, we're not fine, Rafe. We haven't been fine for months on end now! I can't keep watching you destroy yourself because of your addiction, baby. I can't keep doing this anymore. You're not yourself anymore, you haven't been yourself for a very long time and I can't bear watching you like this. I don't want to do this anymore. I think we need some time apart" you had turned away from him, facing forward and hugging your knees to your chest.

You heard his breathing getting quicker, something that always happened when he was panicking.

"Baby, I will get better, I promise. It's just a really tough time for me right now and this is how I cope with the stress. But I can get off that shit anytime. Please, don't leave me, I'll be better" he was hugging you from behind now, tears soaking the back of your shirt.

You bit your lip tightly, trying to suppress the sob that was threatening to come out of your lips. Tears were freely flowing down your cheeks, but you didn't even bother to wipe them away. There was no point.

"I wish I could believe you, Rafe. I really wish I could, but I can't. We've had this conversation too many times with empty promises and I can't take any more of those. I'm sorry, but this is for the best. I'm willing to try again if you end up getting clean and you get your life together, but until then, goodbye" you turned around and took his face in your hands, pecking his lips one more time before you got up and left Tannyhill, your tears blurring your vision.

The moment you got to your car and closed the doors, pained sobs escaped your lips, your whole body rocking with them. You knew you had made the right choice, at least for the time being, but that didn't mean it didn't absolutely break your heart.

Rafe was sitting in the same spot, his mind trying to process everything that had just happened. He knew the moment was long overdue, he now realized just how much he had changed ever since he started heavily doing drugs again, he knew how much he neglected you and the shit you had had to put up with because of him.

He realized he hadn't been fair to you, but damn did it hurt him like nothing else in the world. Knowing he had let you slip through his fingers, the only person he had ever loved and the only one who had ever loved him for who he was. Gone, just like that.

Sniffling and wiping his tears away, he picked up his phone, making some calls determined to get better and win you back because he couldn't live without you.

Not anymore.

Five months had passed since the night you and Rafe broke up. You had been keeping busy, burying yourself in schoolwork so you could have something to think about that wouldn't be related to Rafe.

You had held onto hope that he had got the help he needed, wanting him to realize that there was so much to life besides drugs. 

He had sent you messages, telling you how he was doing, what he was up to, but you chose to ignore them all. You didn't want to get your hopes up and then be disappointed if you found out he had been lying, so you just simply hadn't replied.

Unbeknownst to you, Rafe had been clean ever since the night you broke up with him. He had went to a rehab center the morning after, determined to get and stay clean for the rest of his life so he could prove to you that he loved you and he was serious about your relationship.

When he got back from the center and settled in back home, he decided to drive over to your house, in hopes that he could get you back into his life.

It was evening when he appeared in front of your door. It was very warm outside, the sun having just set.

He knocked on your door, hoping that you would be the one to answer. And his prayers had been answered because you appeared in the doorway, shorts and one of his T-shirt on your body, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Rafe?" you asked, not believing he was really at your door.

"Hi, baby" he smiled, giving you the bouquet of roses he had been hiding behind his back.

"Um, thanks. They're beautiful" you said as you smelled the flowers, smiling because he had remembered your favorite flowers.

"Just like you" he said, making you blush. "Can we talk?"

You looked at him, taking in his features. He looked healthy, which warmed your heart.

Nodding, you set off towards the kitchen, finding a vase for the flowers before joining him in the living room.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I messed up, Y/N, I know that. My behavior for the past few months has been inexcusable, I realize that. I lost sight of myself and I became a horrible person, someone who didn't even deserve the bat of an eye from someone like you. I know I've treated you badly, I know how much I hurt you and how much I neglected our relationship. I'm sorry for everything, baby. I've been clean for the past 5 months and it's going to remain like that. I'm never touching another drug again. I want us to work, baby, I want us to be together again. I promise to love you and be the man you deserve to have by your side. What do you say?"

His eyes for so hopeful, so full of hope and love. You couldn't deny that you had missed him terribly, the break up hurting you almost as much as it had hurt him. But you loved him, and you knew that was never going to change.

"Okay, but if I catch you with drugs one more time, it's over for good. Never again, okay?"

He nodded frantically, falling into your arms and hugging you tightly.

"Thank you, I love you so much" he whispered.

"I love you too"