The Unnamed Poet : Volume 1

Chapter 6 : Sawa Koji, Let's Go Shopping! Part 1

My name is Sawa Koji. This name was given to me by my parents. I remember the day I found my name out for the first time. I could remember it. Unlike most parents. My own saw me as a way of getting an ability. My parents planned to make children until one of us obtained the ability that flowed into the veins of our ancestors for years. Hoping that one day they would have that one golden child. My bloodline also holds one name that we viewed as worthy only for the one blessed with it.
I believe I was around five years old when I obtained my ability. I was incredibly happy. My blessing… I so admired and cherished it. It was the moment such thoughts crossed my mind. I had seen it. I envisioned a future where the pinnacle of my potential could be compared with my strongest and most infamous ancestors.
I ran to my parents. I smiled so happily. Running to them. I had taken pride in carrying my last name. Sawa.
I showed my blessing to them. My smile reached my ears as I was showing it off to them. They looked at each other in disappointment. They turned to me with faces that didn’t even try to hide the fact that they hated me now. I had yet to realize how much my parents hated me. Since I was a small child. I was only five years old at the time.
I waited for this day since I was born. To bear that name. I looked at them with my innocent eyes. Then they looked at each other and smiled. Looking back at me. My mother spoke in a weirdly soft voice.
-Mother of the Sawa Household- «You’re awfully cheerful… Koji»
I didn’t quite know what that name was. But it was definitely not the name that I expected.
-Mother of the Sawa Household- «Like your idiot of a grandfather you have the same blessing as he does. Oh how awful. Well you can at least be useful to help a wife birth a child. We will get you to meet her»
-Koji- «B-But… mom. My ability is super duper great! I’m strong!»
-Father of the Sawa Household- «That’s enough. Koji. Now just go back to playing with your toys in your room or yard»
-Koji- «But… but dad. I have training tonight…»
-Father of the Sawa Household- «Huh? What was that kiddo? Your training is canceled. I refuse to give another second of my time to you. Learn to get food by yourself. You’ve wasted enough time. Go play»
I was shook. I didn’t know father would say that to me. Why did father say that. Am I supposed to take care of myself now?
-Koji- «B-but… Dad… you have to take care of me… am I not important to you anymore?»
-Father of the Sawa Household- «This conversation is over Koji. Stop being ungrateful. Your mother gave birth to you and she’s a great parent to you. Both her and I. Now go. You will be leaving our house in three days»
I couldn’t even respond back to my father after he had said that. I lost everything and everyone. I decided to sit at the yard my family’s house had. It was massive. Our household was very rich.
I sat on the dirt. Trying to comprehend the situation. I didn’t understand a thing. How could I. I was such a young child… I didn’t listen that day and acted like it never happened. I used my blessing to constantly hide around my parents.
My ability was relatively useful for that. I could hide myself. Shadow Veil. My grandfather’s ability. The ability to control if light bounces off of you or passes through you. Meaning I could turn myself invisible. Clothing or not. That day. The day that it was my last day here I tried to run to my parents room. I had yet to pack whilst still in denial about this. I did not believe my parents would honestly throw me out of the house.
And that time. Father did not even seem to be upset. The disappointment had left his soul the moment he turned back to me. I could see that. I could.
My father couldn’t care less.
I ran making myself fully invisible. Apart from my eyes. I could choose not to cover my eyes. I would look like a bunch of floating eyeballs when I used it that way. I ran and ran towards the bedroom that belonged to my parents.
When I stepped close I heard some weird panting and moans from the bedroom. As a child I still didn’t know what that meant. I looked through the slight gap at my parents door and saw it.
I could not understand what this was back then. But I do now. My father. My mother. They did not care about me at all. They could not give any attention to me any longer. I was. Invisible to them.
But I was a their child. Why could they not love me. Why did they want another child immediately. Am I really. That pathetic.
As a kid. Who would know what this would have meant so I opened the door and revealed myself.
-Koji- «Mom… dad… what are you doing»
I said to them. I wish I knew what was going on. But I had no clue. It was then that my father was really upset at me. He never felt that way before. Not even after finding out I didn’t have that blessing. He got up and grabbed a small wooden cane for my mother’s walking disability and hit me in the head multiple times with it.
He hit me so hard the cane broke. I turned myself fully invisible. I couldn’t see without my eyes reflecting that light. But I was fine with that. If this was the light people love. Then I don’t want it.
I ran incredibly fast but I fell down the stairs as I wasn’t able to see. I remembered my house well enough though to get up and leave. I had hurt myself a lot. I remember that day clearly.
Grabbing my elbow which I used to protect my head as I fell. It was most likely broken. I left home and the moment I stepped out I turned my ability off and I could see again. Before I knew it. I saw my father outside the house. Of course he would know where I would go. After a I was a failed experiment he took care off. He raised the cane and hit me with the sharp edge on the head one last time.
I was crying that day.
Tears fell from my eyes along with the blood. I couldn’t resist it anymore. I was hoping I’d die. Before I passed out I just looked at the stars. I made only one wish. I just wanted to… all I wanted… was for me… to see my birthday. I wanted to live up to six years old. That was all I asked anymore. Then I passed out. Under that moon.
Later on I woke up near a trash can. It smelled awful. But I still wished I could lie down and relax.
Although. That was not an option. I knew I was tired. But my father’s voice echoed through my head. I heard it. «Learn to get food by yourself». I still wished. To make him proud and listen to what he said.
Yet even though I felt that need to please him. I hated him. I wanted him to fucking die. This asshole. I wished he would die. Both him and that stupid golden child. That child that would not be cursed with that light. But he would be blessed by it. He would be loved by father because of it.
I wish I would just. Die.
I remember that day I was walking around the streets. Looking for a bit of food. It was the fourth day and I was close to never moving my arm again. I never realized it until then. But I had a scar from the day my father hit me. My face had a large scar reaching from the top of my head to my eyebrow.
That scar reminded me of that day. And hence I couldn’t even bear to look at myself in the mirror or anything reflective. I despised anything that would show my face to myself.
I had traveled far away from home that day and was looking around at the people who were supposedly not blessed. I wished I would have been born that way. I wished I was that… happy.
Then I noticed that my legs couldn’t last any longer and I collapsed. I tried to get up. As hard as I could. «My birthday. It was tomorrow. Please… just let me live…»
I said to myself. But I couldn’t get up. I felt hungry and thirsty. I hadn’t eaten anything as I refuse to steal food from anyone.
It was that time when I saw a woman in front of me. She showed off her fancy clothes at me. By how poor I was I thought she was just trying to show herself off. «You look awful little kid. Come with me. I got the money to help ya»
She said with full confidence. I couldn’t get up and she noticed that so she just picked me up and walked away with me. She first went to a hospital. Making sure I was perfectly fine. My treatment took days as I was badly injured and hadn’t eaten for days.
From what I recall her name was Hase Kamiko. She was not blessed and she seemed so happy. So I hated her at first. «Kiddo. What’s your name». She had asked me. I answered simply. «Sawa… Koji»
She then turned to look at me with a puzzled face. Or what I thought was puzzled. It seemed closer to that calm demeanor my dad had that day. And like his it changed. But she smiled at me. «Such a beautiful name! You’re such a good kid Koji. Your name is really nice! Oh I’ll buy you so many stuff!»
I heard it that way. And I usually can’t even trust people because of the way they truly are in the inside. But this woman. She never lied. She was honest. She was fully honest with me.
«Y-yeah… yes ma’am…»
Was all I could say. She made a weird frown after that. It was incredibly silly and stupid if I should say. She brought herself closer to me and spoke.
-Kamiko- «I. Am. 23 only! I. Am. Young. Don’t you call me ma’am!» she then sighed and as I was ready to apologize in fear of being hit again she spoke. «Call me Kamiko onee-chan!»
Her voice so cheerful and fun.
She looked at me again.
-Kamiko- «Now after you’re done with this hospital let’s get you new clothes! Your current ones are so ugly. You need new ones!»
-Koji- «Y-yes… Kamiko… onee-chan…»
A bit later that day. I told her that today was my birthday and her jaw fell out of her mouth. She seemed annoyed and mad at herself she wasn’t told that before and she told me she would get me some cake. But before she left through that door I spoke.
-Koji- «K-Kamiko… onee-chan»
-Kamiko- «What is it dear?»
-Koji- «Why do you treat me so well»
I said without a hint of sadness in my voice. That was just a genuine question. Coming from a child who thought he did something wrong.
-Kamiko- «Well you’re poor and I got money. Can’t let poor people stay this pathetic can I? And also you’re just a child Koji. Can’t let you stay outside. You look too much like my brother»
She said before walking out. The hospital had allowed me to eat anything I wanted. I waited until the night. She should have left. That’s what I thought.
The next hour she still had not arrived and I was about to cry but she ran into the room ten minutes later holding a box.
-Kamiko- «KOOOJI I BROUGHT THE CAKE!»
She said with the box. Opening it up she realized she messed up. The cake was dismembered. She was shaking it around too much. She started apologizing to me before I grabbed one of the plastic forks she gave me and I ate it. My eyes shined and I cried. It was so ugly. But this time I cried of happiness. She smiled at me and hugged me. I finished that whole cake overnight.
I loved every moment of it. Every last… moment.
After my time at the hospital was over she brought me to her house. It was way messier than I thought. No maids or anything even though she was filthy rich. Her clothes everywhere, everything dusted. I couldn’t stand it. So she told me she would go to sleep a bit and after around six hours she woke up to her whole house having been cleaned.
-Kamiko- «Koji-kun… why did you clean?»
-Koji- «Your house was dirty onee-chan!»
I said with slight frustration but she laughed it off and messed my hair.
-Kamiko- «Alright mister housewife. Now let’s go»
-Koji- «… where to?»
-Kamiko- «Isnt it obvious? Shopping! I’m gonna get you so many clothes! And learn so much about you! After all shopping with a person is the best way of knowing someone!»
Unsure I agreed.
-Koji- «A-Alright… onee-chan. Let’s go shopping»