A young philosophers philosophy

My philosophy

My philosophy is probably one of the most depressing on the surface but I'd like to explain it. My philosophy comes from that of an extremist nihilist due to the fact that I find that nothing matters and that includes everything a state of being null and void by just simply believing in existing. You might be wondering if I truly was an extremist nihilist why would I be writing this book. After living this life of mine and believing my philosophy for about 5 years for now I also came to an abstract conclusion. Due to me thinking that everything has no inherent meaning that means there's no reason to do anything. Due to this logic I also came to the conclusion that's the main reason to do everything. DO EVERY AND ANYTHING YOU WANT TO FOR AS LONG AS YOU LIVE. Even if there was this "end goal of life" that too would have no meaning in my eyes. I don't believe in the immortality of the ego, the immortality of the body, or the possessions of the world. Leaving behind all cares in my wake I was able to enlighten myself with this mostly unheard and unmentioned world view of just living how you want to live. Anyone can adapt this world view and live any form of life. Life is truly absurd and convoluted so why live life worrying on it's meaning, why live life worrying of love, hate, etc. I ask you why live your life not doing what you want. Many people feel like it's obvious why I can't live my life. I have no way out of my job or I'll be put out, I have to feed my kids, I have to do such such such, and etc but to you I ask why. You'll constantly come back and say an answer until you find something that's just concrete logic but then I'll still ask why. The only answer is that it doesn't matter. Why not do what you want to do and some more why live a life of dread. But this doesn't mean that you shouldn't if you know that the road is long and heavy for the dream in the future then why give up. If you know that this life is gonna be of pain and hellish circumstances why want to die. Why not just do what you want to do. Inherently it's one of the most contradicting philosophies because of the fact that it simply says forget the meaning of life and says just live. I ask you again reader why not just live to live even though you have the thoughts on hardcore logic when truly at it's core it doesn't matter.