LA Gang (Book 3)

Epilogue: Mitch's letter

Epilogue: Mitch's letter

I love you, Scott. And I have since we first met. Since that time I walked into the Chemotherapy room and saw you reading a comic, hooked up to that machine delivering poison into you. They made me sit down next to you, "I'm Scott" you said and I answered, "I'm Mitch". The conversation went on, you said it was your second time there, and you had relapsed. The worst part about it was that we were 12.

For the next two years, we became the best of friends. You taught me everything you knew about cancer, Leukemia especially. Everything was going great, until your kidney transplant. I remember when you told me how scared you were and I think that was the first time you were that vulnerable with me. In the end, it worked, you were healthy and went into remission again, but not without promising to visit every day. You never broke your promise, every single day you came and we talked for hours, we even cuddled in my hospital bed. I even remember being so scared to tell you that I liked boys, relief immediately came to me when you said that it was okay, that you liked boys too. Every single day was amazing because you were there by my side.

Until you weren't.

I thought it was because you were just tired of me, which was a very selfish thought, to be honest. It wasn't until I saw you coming in on a stretcher with an oxygen mask that I knew something was wrong. You had relapsed. Again. It was your third time with Leukemia. You were only 15. You promised me to fight till the very end.

We met the rest of the gang during the next year. First, it was Kirstie, then Avi, then Kevin, and lastly Matt. You told them the same thing you told me when we first met "I'm Scott" and we became best friends, we were like a family. The LA Gang was born. You were so selfless you cared about others more than yourself, and that is what I loved about you. I was in love with you. When you asked me to be your boyfriend I couldn't be happier. We were such a cute couple, besides Kirstie and Avi of course.

Thanks to you, fighting against our illnesses wasn't that bad, you made our journey fun. When you got that bad infection, I was extremely scared, I even had a panic attack but you weren't there to help me. I felt so useless when I couldn't do anything but watch you lay down on that hospital bed with that tube down your throat, it was awful. In the end, you made it, and you were back on your feet in just a few days.

Later on, Kevin, Kirstie, Matt, and I went home. Avi and you stayed. Two weeks later when we came back you told us about Avi, he was so sick the doctors thought he wasn't going to make it through the night. Avi's passing hit you and Kirstie the hardest. You started to shut people out, and all the chemo side effects did not help at all with that. We finally understood that it was his time and he was in a better place.

We all got better with time, even your doctor said that it was time for a bone marrow transplant. You were really scared because you knew what it meant. Your cancer was progressing, it was Stage 3. Matt was the first person you told this to, you told him how your chest was covered with bruises, and that what you feared the most was not beating cancer this time. Luckily, everything went well and your transplant worked, for a while at least.

The day your mom called me and told me the news about your Stage 4 Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, was the second worst day of my life. You told me you had plans for all the time you had left. We went to high school, had our prom, got a tattoo and a new haircut, and your mom got you your dog.

Then you started to get weak, we knew it the day you got dizzy from walking around the school but we tried to deny it. I went to your house one day after school to see you, you had your cannula on and said that your legs hurt way too much to walk and that you were shaky. All the gang visited you every day after school, and we tried to make you forget about the pain and make you smile. When we went to the mountains, what I hated the most was seeing you extremely pale, weak, and in so much pain. Somehow you were still able to smile and laugh through it, that's what made me fall in love with you even more.

Soon, when we came back, the blue in your eyes was gone. Instead, they were gray and dull. You spent so much time sleeping and resting in your bed. I clearly remember when you told me to promise you to keep going even after you're gone. I said that I didn't think it was possible, but you made me promise it.

We were cuddling in your bed, you looked so sick, you had bruises all over your body and it was exhaustive to even move a limb. Suddenly, you couldn't breathe. I yelled your mom's name and she came running with your father, they called 911 and I remember telling you to hold on just for a bit more, I wasn't ready to lose you. None of us were. The next few moments were a blur, I went with your dad to the hospital and called the rest of the gang. They were devastated. When we were finally able to see you, you had an oxygen mask and I could barely hear what you were saying.

For the next three days, you had everyone visiting you. Your family, the gang, even some nurses and doctors that had treated you. We remembered everything we went through. But when you were with that tube in your throat once again, I knew I had to say goodbye, you just held my hand and squeezed it with the very little strength you had left.

You asked the whole gang to sing to you and with that, we left that hospital room. We got the call the following day from your family, you had passed at midnight. That became the worst day of my life. I cried way too much that I was not sure if I'd have enough tears left. The funeral was the worst of all, I hated how sad everyone looked and how heartbroken your parents were.

I try to keep the promise I made to you. So is everyone else, Kevin is in China for exchange; Matt and Kirstie broke up but they are still good friends; your parents are hurt still but they try to be strong for you. Losing a child is one of the most hurtful things a parent can experience. And I... I miss you so fucking much, I started to go to therapy to cope with your loss. We are all dealing with this our way. Do you remember Beau and Austin? They've been by my side, helping.

You are the strongest guy I've met. You fought against cancer for 10 years, until it got too much for you. I always admired your ambitions and positivity because they kept me going and made me realize that things do get better. Even in the darkest times. I hope you are getting some well-deserved rest and that you are watching over us. I decided to study fashion at college, you know how much I love it and I always appreciated how supportive you were of my style.

I will always love you, even though you're not here. Trust me, you'll never be forgotten. Your story came on the news the other day, you are an actual legend and you'll always be remembered and kept in our minds, hearts, and lives. Goodbye Scotty, I hope I get to see you soon.

Your first love,

Mitch.