𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬 | VMINKOOK

The Secrets Of My Soul

A/n: am I coping with jikook leaving by writing smut and fluff? Yes, yes I am.

"You're the most captivating person I've ever met and I promised to stay by your side..."

Oh, for the love of God.

Those eyes, those beautiful brown eyes could sparkle like the brightest stars in the night sky, but they were blind. They were so goddamn blind.

He couldn't see it, could he? The absolute mess I was. The natural disaster I had become. He saw right past it. I looked my butler in the eyes in an attempt to let him see how dead I was, but the boy just kept smiling at me, giving me a look that said I brought him life.

After coming back from Calabria, I'd asked Emilio to my room to break me, but the stableboy never made it to my door. Instead it was the butler who was sitting next to me now, obstructing the path I was trying to walk like a stubborn boulder in my way.

Jungkook peered through his bangs like a shy teenager, even though he had grown so much since he first showed his face here. He was gorgeous. A handsome obstacle I couldn't help but be entranced by.

Why me? I asked myself. Why did he decide to give all of this to me when I was so obviously unable to handle it?

"You think I am despicable for letting him near me, don't you?" I said with a stuffy nose. "I am revolting... rotten..."

"You are none of those things."

And then my face was cupped between the watchmaker's hands, who showed no signs of ever voluntarily leaving my room again.

I kept asking myself over and over what drove this perfectly normal young man to thrust himself into my mess like it was worth saving. The world was open to him. He had the choice to do with his life whatever he pleased and yet here he still was, still willingly clinging to me.

Jungkook held me like he was afraid I'd slip away. Afraid to be apart from me. And suddenly something clicked inside my brain, allowing me to understand the stubborn watchmaker on a whole new level.

It didn't matter how many times I threatened him, or treated him like shit. Made his help feel worthless, and pretended to be fine without his care for me. No matter how hard I tried to push him away, he would push right back into me with just as much force. Because he was the watchmaker, and I was the broken clock, calling him toward me with every unstable tick. It was his job, his destiny, his purpose, to fix me.

There was no getting rid of him.

Not while we were both breathing.

Jungkook kissed me, and suddenly I was nothing but a hopelessly romantic sixfteen year old boy, greedy for love in such a childish way. I had never killed. Never tortured. Never forced myself to be a with a woman. I was a boy kissing another boy, and innocent bursts of happiness exploded in my belly like fizzy fireworks.

"Tesoro," I panted, allowing the butler to hover above me on the bed. My cock was throbbing, but no longer with the desire to be destroyed. Oh God, I wanted the watchmaker. But I didn't want it rough, and deep, and painful. I wanted it sweet, and gentle, and careful. I felt vulnerable like an open nerve, but I wasn't scared. There was no need to be scared. "You've never... you've haven't had--"

A virgin. He was a virgin. I could read it on his face. Pure in the way I expected, but I was too hungry to second guess my actions.

We were just two men who desired each other. Two men who wanted to make love. There was nothing inherently wrong with that, was there? Could I be allowed to have this? To have him? Just for today? I would pause to look at this obstacle a little longer, and allow my eyes to feast on it's beauty for a day or two.