Paris / Ted Lasso

50. Jumper

"Hey, fellas! Line up for Midnight Poutine!" Ted instructed.  "Take a deep breath, yeah? I want you to picture the shot. Be the ball, Dani. Now kick it."

"A shrink?" Poppy countered. 

"I know, but its not for us." Rebecca agreed. 

"Weltons dont do therapy unless its retail therapy." 

"Agreed." Rebecca agreed. "But we have to do something, Higgins suggested it." 

"If Dani needs motivation, we could always just show him his goddamn paycheck." Nate remarked in the locker room, both managements having a similar conversation. 

"I mean, that's a tad aggressive, you know." Ted countered. "But hey, I shouldn't bring an umbrella to a brainstorm, so I appreciate you getting the ball rolling, Nate."

"Hey, you're not supposed to say that out loud."

"Which is why I wrote it down."

" "The yips"?" Nate read off.

"Shh!" The men demanded.

"What are the yips?"

"Shh!"

"Are you kidding me, you two?"

"We don't say the Y-word out loud, you understand?" Ted demanded. "It's like saying Macbeth in a theater, or Voldemort at Hogwarts, or, uh..."

" Soccer in England." Birdie remarked jumping into Ted's lap.

"Bingo Birdie Boo, triple B like a triple threat but Birdie edition!" Ted declared. Birdie giggled leaning back into him. Ted wrapped his arms around her. 

"But what are-" he mouthed the yips?

"It's when, just out of nowhere, an athlete suddenly can't do the basic fundamentals of their sport. Yeah, you know, like Chuck Knoblauch's throw to first, or, uh, Charles Barkley's golf swing. You guys know what I mean." Ted remarked but he saw blank faces. "Yeesh, sometimes being here is like living in a foreign country."

"Ted, what are your thoughts on therapy?" Higgins pondered.

"Uh, general apprehension and a modest Midwestern skepticism. Why do you ask?" Ted questioned.

"Mama doesnt do therapy unless its shopping for me." Birdie added. 

"Well, maybe we should bring in a sports psychologist." Higgins went on. "I know a lot of other clubs have had tremendous success with that."

+

"Birdies babysitters are all right here. I had to result to paying for child care like a commoner." Poppy declared dramatically. Roy rolled his eyes. 

"You dont pay him?" Rebecca questioned. 

"He pays Birdie." Poppy corrected. "They have the same deal that Pheobe has. It usually evens out at the end of the night but other nights she gets some extra spending change." Roy grumbled rolling his eyes. John was not happy that the conversation wasnt on him.

"So you are the little sister I have heard so much about." John cut in. 

"Thats me." Poppy agreed. 

"So I need your seal of approval to keep my hands on this one." John added.

"Rebecca will glad kick you to the curb with or without my veto." Poppy corrected bluntly. Ted cleared his throat bringing a hand to Poppy's thigh. "Now John you have some competition for best boyfriends because Keeley and I have the two best guys in london."