𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐲 𝐒𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐲 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬

Longing (1 Year Later)

Last year I knew I was misplaced
I tried to ignore it, tried to fit
And I still feel that pain
But here I am across the hallway

I think maybe I found them
Even though I still feel new
But they talk to me
And I laugh with them
It's not like last year

Last year I tried so hard
For nothing in the end
Because your real friends
Won't make you work for them

Our table's always overfilled
I never have to worry though
I always have a seat saved
No questions asked

I avoid those hallways now
Dodge the memories
Try not to look at her
Remind myself
It's not my fault

I'm more cautious now
Because part of me thinks it was
I've picked myself apart
I can't make those mistakes again

But the lunch table
greets me with a smile
And we tease each other
sing cheesy songs
I think that hole is gone

And I don't feel so lonely
And I don't have to pretend
And I don't feel invisible
And I am here.

Because this is not last year
December 2023