Finding Myself

Chapter 12

Soriah's POV

Warmth...

Heartbroken ...

Safety...

Sadness...

That's all I felt when I opened my eyes, all of the memories from last night flooded my mind. Giving me no room to think about my next move as Majesty was laying on my stomach. All I could do was lay there.. Why was all I could ask? Why would he kiss her? Why didn't he love me? Why did I kiss Majesty? Why would I make a decision that I couldn't go back from?  Is this going to ruin our friendship?

The feeling of my warm tears slipping down my cheek falling against the pillow and sliding down to my mouth. Too many emotions and I wasn't sure how to handle it. For a while my crying started from last night to now thinking of my parents, my family, my friends. Finally finding the strength to move, I sneakily got up, my naked body exposed still from having sex with my friend.

Majesty moved around and I was scared she was going to wake up. I dressed in the clothes Majesty gave me, grabbing my dead phone from off of her dresser. Scared to even open her room door. With each step I took I made sure to not make much noise. Having no way of getting home all I could do was walk. A walk of shame and hurt all in one. Maybe I should've said bye to Majesty, but I couldn't face her. I used her as a warm body last night. Now I don't know where to go from here.

After what felt like a long ass walk, I finally reached home. Preparing myself to walk into an empty house but was proven wrong as soon as I reached the door. My mother stood there checking the mail, I hadn't seen her in a long time, hesitating to walk up to the door, my body moving on it's own, walking up to my mom, looking into her hazel eyes before falling into her arms. She held my head caressing my hair as I soaked up her shirt. "What's wrong?" Was all she asked me repeatedly. I tried to answer but I couldn't, my own tears betraying me.

With each tear that fell, it reminded me how hurt I was, I loved him with all of my heart. I trusted him with my mind, body and heart and yet he just threw it all away as if I meant nothing, but he proved I meant the opposite to him. I thought he was my beginning, middle and end. How do I move on from here? I probably seem dramatic but when you love someone so much that they become your everyday routine. It's hard to accept the fact that now you have to find a different path, no more routines that had him in it.

No more train rides to his house, no more late night rides in his car, no more happy memories, no more sleeping together, no more caressing each other in our sleep, and as nasty as it sounds...no more morning breath talks before taking me home. I don't even remember walking into the house but snapping back to reality I sat there in my mothers arms on our big white couch. "Want to tell me what happened"? She cradled my face, wiping away the tears from my cheeks. Taking a deep breath I prepared myself to say "he cheated on me" taking another deep breath "he cheated on me with Sabrina..Mom". I began to cry again. Have you ever cried so much your head began to pound and your eyes got itchy? That's me.

"Soriah, I know I'm not home a lot but I want you to know that I love you so much and don't you ever let someone have this much control over you" My mom spoke, still wiping the tears from my face. "You are the most beautiful girl I know and you're the smartest girl I know.. It's going to hurt for a while but just know you'll get through it and in two years you will ask yourself why the fuck you let someone hurt you like this". I listened to what she said, taking in each word and the comfort from her, given that she's barely there to comfort me like this.

All I could do was shake my head to everything she was saying, "I'm going to go shower" my raspy voice spoke. Getting up I walked upstairs slowly, still trying to choke back more tears. After getting out of the shower I finally plugged my phone in, as it turned on Majesty's contact popped up, she called me so many times but all I could do was ignore her call like a coward.

Before I could place my phone down I heard a knock on my door. I figured it was just my mom but when I opened the door Majesty stood there, she looked mad, worried and hurt all at the same time. I stepped aside letting her walk into my room before closing the door behind us. "Why'd you leave without saying goodbye?"She asked me, sitting on the edge of my bed. I shrugged my shoulders but I did know why. "I left because I couldn't stay in your house anymore", sitting down next to her but she moved over creating space between us.

"You still could've said goodbye Soriah". We sat there in silence before I got up, pacing around my room trying to figure out what to say. I know it was an asshole move but something in me couldn't face Majesty...I just couldn't. I guess I was taking too long to respond because she got up walking towards my door. I wanted to stop her but I didn't.

Before walking out Majesty looked back at me all of the emotions she felt showing through her brown eyes. Silently asking me to stop her from leaving. Taking a breath she shook her head and walked out. My phone began to ring and his contact picture showed up. Answering the phone I waited for him to apologize but he didn't. "I just wanted to tell you that I fell in love with Sabrina and I no longer want to be with you". Hearing that sentence made my heart shatter. He no longer wants to be with me? He's fallen in love with my best friend? What did I do to deserve this? Before I could respond he hung up leaving me speechless. All I could do was throw myself onto the bed and ball up, crying my eyes out before falling asleep.
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Hey hey hey,
Filler chapter
hope you enjoyed ❤️