CLEAN || Taylor Swift Adoption

TWENTY-ONE

"You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded..."

~EVERLEIGH~

August 6, 2019

The Secret Session seemed to pass quickly, quicker than it had been when I was in Nashville. Half of me felt like I was reliving some sort of fever dream—it had been almost impossible to not start singing along to the songs before the second or third chorus hit, as the lyrics came flooding back to me in a weird form of déjà vu. But I knew better than to blow my cover, especially when I had gotten through it relatively well so far. No one had to know the real reason why I was at this Session.

I was sandwiched in between Eloise and Hazel as we listened to the album in the living room of Taylor's L.A. house, with Darcie and Payton sitting behind us. The five of us had created our own little cluster around the middle of the room, and it was surprising how much more space there seemed to be here than there was in Nashville, just because the number of people was only half as much as it had been there. I couldn't resist squealing along with my friends as Taylor played the songs for the first time; sure, I'd heard them all before, and I sort of knew what was coming, but the energy in the room was contagious, and soon enough, it felt like I didn't have to act in order to make sure people weren't suspicious of me. Everything was just as amazing as it had been to me two days ago.

Taylor stopped the Session after she played 'Paper Rings', just as she had done in Nashville, and told us that we had a little bit of time to go to the bathroom or get food before we would have a dance party. She glanced over at me as she spoke, and an involuntary smile made its way onto my face at her words. No one at this Session knew how the Nashville dance party had gone, and I was giddy with excitement to see just how great it would be this time.

Payton and Darcie went to the bathroom, filing in a long line of Swifties for one that was just outside the living room, so Hazel, Eloise, and I walked around, talking with people and eagerly discussing the album. The fact that there were so many less people here made it so much easier to find people to talk to, and by the time that the break was over and Taylor came back into the room, it felt like I had already talked to over half of the people there.

The rest of the Session seemed to go by in a similar way to the Nashville one. When Taylor got up to leave the room for 'Soon You'll Get Better', the entire room broke down in tears, and I was no exception. It was strange to be thinking about my dad for the second time this week as I listened to the song, but I let all of my emotions overtake me as I gripped onto Eloise's hand, sobbing as the song played over the speaker.

After the album finished, we all went back outside, and Darcie made an immediate dash for the food table, promising that she would bring back food for all of us to share. The rest of us found a table on the patio to sit at and discuss the album, and conversation flowed easily between us. As promised, Darcie soon returned holding a plate that was filled with chicken tenders, and another bowl of M&Ms. "Dig in!" she cheered. "We've got a while to wait."

Eventually, Darcie and Hazel got called in to meet Taylor, and as the group in the backyard grew smaller, Payton returned to the same quiet state that she had been in earlier. I turned to her, a look of concern on my face at her closed-off state.

"Payton, are you okay?" I asked my friend. "You've sort of seemed off the whole night... I just wanted to make sure that you're feeling alright."

Eloise nodded in agreement as Payton chewed on her lip, almost as if she was debating trying to say something or not. Finally, she let out a slow breath, tilting her head to the side as she looked at me. "I need to ask you something," she said. "Were you in Nashville a couple of days ago?"