THE GIRL I WAS...
A head full of short tightly coiled hair,
With the smooth face and bright eyes
She saw no limit to anything.
A heart so pure
And able to enjoy the simple things
With a very insatiable desire to learn new things
And pure excitement when she did
Her unforced rhythm of going through life;
If she wanted something she went for it,
never really caring if she was going to win or lose
while at it.
She threw her whole self at the things
that mattered to her.
And tried all the things that made her heart dance
...SHE LIVED FULLY
She was happy, full of life,
Curiosity and laughter.
She was the kind to dance without caring if
her steps were in rhythm with the beat everyone danced to.
The type to laugh and not care if she was too loud for a lady
Or if she was cute enough while at it.
She was the kind to sing out loud
And not care if she hit all the notes right.
What mattered was, she was here and she
was doing this.
And to her, that's what living looked like
...SHE WAS BRAVE
She spoke her mind,
And walked through the hallways without pretense
She didn't know shame and guilt
And had such a short memory of all the bad things
That happened to her.
She had a huge capacity to
take everything that came at her
Without losing her hunger to live fully.
If I remember well, a lot happened then,
a lot that could have broken her.
But Her spirit was such that she could laugh
right in the face of adversity.
she was a damn Brave soul without even trying
...SHE BELIEVED
She had a strong sense of self
And wouldn't allow anyone to tell her otherwise.
She believed that she was beautiful.
She believed that she was smart.
She believed that if she wanted to do it,
then that was a damn good enough reason to do it
She believed that if she set her mind to it,
then it was possible
She went hard for the things she believed in,
And stood by them and spoke up if she felt
that they were threatened
...AND THEN SHE LEFT
But what happened baby?
Why do you doubt yourself so much these days?
Where did the passion for what you stand for go?
Why do you cover up your coils now?
Who told you that they didn't look good enough?
Who told you to believe Them?
Why does everything They say occupy so much of you?
Why do you go searching for approval in the eyes of strangers?
...I DESPERATELY NEED HER BACK
Where is that little girl?
Can we please find her!
I have a feeling that we desperately
Need her back tonight
Because we have gotten to a really bad space
Where I am afraid of my own voice
I don't trust that I will say the right thing,
So I choose to be silent.
What is the right thing to say?
Why do I have to think so
hard about what the right thing to say is?
So, the language I speak now is not what I believe
and feel to be right.
But what I think They would love to hear me say.
No wonder my head feels ready to explode
It is because of all the unsaid things that fight to be heard
...WORDS LEFT UNSAID
Words I should have said but never did
Now they are burning in my throat
Chocking and clawing their way out of my mouth
Demanding an audience
But the only audience is the reflection in the mirror
As I look deep into the familiar brown pools
I hope to catch a glimpse of that girl,
the brave one, the believer, the one who lived fully.
But I only catch a shadow of what she was
And still I whisper hopefully,
"You are desperately needed back!"
YOU ARE READING
CONVERSATIONS WITH THE PAST
PuisiPoetry for me is my truth. This book is a collection of the conversations that I would have loved to have but never really got the chance to, because either the person concerned is no longer there or they do not have the space yet to hold my truth...
