Adrien had finally gathered the courage to become his alter ego again.
After spending weeks doing nothing but staring at the ring on his table, he was finally going to use it, much to a concerned Plagg's relief.
Adrien stood at his window, despite being able to use the front door, and whispered the three, short words quickly, before he lost his resolve, the skin-tight suit replacing his pyjamas in an instant.
The usually breathable material immediately had a suffocating effect on Chat Noir, and he let out a shaky breath, desperate to be a civilian again. The stupid collar with the stupid bell felt to tight and too high on his neck, and his skin craved fresh air.
But more than that, he was being suffocated by the memories, flashbacks of the last time he was in this suit assaulting his mind and making him forget where he was.
In his mind he was transported back to bloodied cobblestones and pouring rain, a shivering Ladybug in his arms, a crumbled mansion, sterile hospital walls, so, so many people staring at him as he stood beside a black and red shrine. His suit began to feel slick, covered in rain and blood...so much blood-
"ADRIEN!"
The boy's consciousness was thrown back into the present, a blot of red obscuring most of his vision.
"Adrien...are you okay?" Tikki asked, her eyes wide and sympathetic, as though she knew exactly what had just run through his mind.
Then again, she probably had similar flashbacks herself.
Adrien nodded, not feeling up to using words.
"You know you don't have too-"
"No!" The sound ripped from his throat, "I have too,"
But why? Said a voice in his mind. Why do you need to do this? Why right now? Surely it's easier to avoid everything that could remind you of that night, of her.
But no. A wise girl he once knew had taught him that life was not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.
Today, he had a choice. He could wait until the trauma of the final battle had faded with time, allowing it to leave a permanent scar on his soul, or he could learn to live with the trauma, hopefully helping that scar heal a bit more fully.
Pulling out his stick, he prepared to make Marinette proud.
-
Being Chat Noir again was a similar feeling to resurfacing after spending too long underwater.
Once he had taken his first leap over the city, it felt like a massive gulp of air had finally found his starved lungs, all his muscles working on memory as he flew through the night.
Chat Noir found himself passing the ruins of the old Agreste Mansion, pausing at the sight of a large chunk of the somewhat still intact stone roof, a jagged shape with a circle cut cleanly into its middle. The circle was armed, jagged pieces of glass and crushed metal rimming the edge like teeth.
The observatory.
His father's lair.
Chat Noir was torn between fleeing the scene and taking in more of what used to be his tragically beautiful fortress of solitude.
Eventually, his flight instinct won over and he leapt in the opposite direction, running over buildings as if his life depended on it.
Once upon a time, someone's life had depended on it.
But he wasn't fast enough.
Choking on the memories that chased him with the promise of heartache and pain, Chat Noir finally stopped moving.
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Without his Lady
FanfictionHawkmoth was defeated. But at what cost? After the battle in which Adrien lost both his father and his Lady, he stops. He stops smiling, he stops trying, he stops living. He's an empty shell of a human being. But when vivid flashbacks and a masoch...
