The Commune

IV. Xena.

Xena

It certainly was a beautiful ceremony, really touching. Too bad I can't say the same kind words for the dickhead they were holding it for.

I don't even know why I bothered to show up. Perhaps to blend in with all the others fake mourning for that sorry excuse of a human. Of course, some of those people were actually mourning. And I do feel sorry for them, truly. Not so much that they lost whatever Gwen Walker was to them, but because they fell for his sick games as I once did. I'm not ashamed to admit it, we've all been young and naive before. And that's exactly the type of person Gwen loved. He knew he could manipulate them to believe whatever he wanted them to and go along with whatever he wanted. He was really good at that. Professional even.

I don't miss him. Whatsoever. I won't feel bad about that. Not after he made my life a living hell for the past year. As far as I'm concerned that plane crash was pure karma. Might've even been too kind for him.

He's still some sort of innocent victim in so many people's eyes, but he was a monster. And they'll never even know.

He lies, manipulates, uses and brutally discards people when he has no use for them anymore.

I know firsthand what life can look like when you're no longer in favor with the great and powerful Gwen.

But I also know what it can look like when you are. I guess I can't really blame the others for falling into his trap. He made it so damn easy. Dangling a pseudo sense of heaven in front of them like a fat piece of cheese to a starving mouse.

If you didn't know any better, you'd think he was so sweet and caring, practically Jesus Christ himself. But it's all a hoax. None of it was real. And when you don't play the role he wants you to play, he'll make you play a different role. Before you know it, you lose all your friends and you're basically a social pariah.

It's his world and we're all just living in it. So if he wants you to be the villain, then guess what? You're gonna be the fucking villain because it's his story, his city, his campus, his friends, his everything.

And God forbid you try to defend yourself. Now you're a crazy, obsessed stalker who can't let go, or can't take rejection. I know that's what Alex, Vivian, and Nic must think of me. Because that's what he told them. And he had them eating out of the palm of his hand.

That asshole got whatever he wanted. Always. Well, almost anyway. But when he didn't, I'd pity the poor person who didn't give it to him, because he'd certainly make them pay.

After witnessing his mother's antics at the funeral, I can't say I'm surprised that he turned out that way. Seems to me the whole family's seriously disturbed.

But that's no longer any of my concern. Gwen can't hurt me anymore, or anyone else for that matter. He's gone. It sounds pretty fucked but I feel kind of relieved.

I no longer have to walk on egg shells on campus, or just anywhere in this town for that matter, or avoid going places he might be.

I'm free.

Well in that aspect anyway. The world doesn't stop just because some asshole died. No one knows this better than a college student drowning in assignments. And to make matters worse, I also have a huge exam to cram for. But at least I can study in peace, at the library, rather than being cooped up in my room for fear I'll run into Gwen and his cronies.

I smile to myself as I enter the campus library for what feels like the first time in forever.

This is what peace feels like.