The Rockstar & The Balladeer : A SandAyan Story

Chapter 2: In My Head Rent Free 24/7

AYAN

Of all the things that happened during my high school senior year, one of the few good things I got is my now best friend, Thua, who had refused to be pushed out of my life after the Suppalo scandal that almost ruined our lives. Perhaps out of guilt at first for being the catalyst to the breakdown of my relationship with Akk, having revealed said secret relationship to the public.

Eventually, when I had learned to forgive and understood that the relationship was always bound to fail anyway, Thua became the sibling I never had. Although he had stayed in Bangkok, studying Business Management in Bangkok University, he had flown out to visit me a couple of times during my five year stay in Boston studying Music Business/Management in Berklee.

After graduating mere months apart, I was poised to take on my masters while Thua had been hired to work at a famous corporation, all thanks to his stellar academic records. Then my mother passed away suddenly. Coming home after so many years had left mixed feelings in my heart.

Always having known that I was going to take over my mother's company, I knew the career I really wanted was not an option. Thua, ever the most loyal friend had given in to my request to be my executive assistant and thus combining both our knowledge in music and business to run the Eclipse Records. The premature appointment as CEO at only 24 had left me reeling from the intimidating responsibility of running a big company with hundreds of people. My mother too would not have known that she would pass away at only fifty-six and she hadn't even trained me for the position which she also took over after my father dies when I merely 5 years old. Still the daunting tasks, I faced head on and with Thua by my side. I finally felt settled enough after three months to think about doing a little something that is just personal, away from the life that had been forced upon me.

It was while I met Wat and Khan yesterday to finally have dinner after three months of being here. The hesitance was long and torturing but I had my trepidations. Surprisingly though, Khan and Wat with Thua had been nothing but fun and Akk was never mentioned the whole time. When they took me out to post dinner drinks, that's when I saw the sign posted in YOLO. I thought this was my chance and I took it.

Tonight was liberating. I finally got a chance to sing on stage again. I had steadily worked part time as a singer in a small Thai bar in Boston all these years. Frankly, I loved it except, when I recall those lively doe eyes made of molten lava and fire on a dangerously rugged handsome face and those legs for days, I begin to doubt my decision.

Having gotten used to separating my real life from the few hours I was a singer, I had consistently used Ray as my stage name. Only very few people are aware that I had a different real name and a different real life. Thua being one of them had been supportive. Offering to drive me whilst I was still waiting for my car to arrive from Boston.

My mother's car, I had given to her personal driver who had been with her for more than twenty years as part of his severance pay and compensation. I didn't want anyone driving me around. I also packed up all the household staff, not wanting to share the house with anyone, opting to hire outside services to do the cleaning and laundry weekly. I was used to my independence and I know how to do the chores, so I preferred this arrangement. Thankful to be left to myself to grieve on my own after my mother's passing.

Thanking Thua as he reminds me he'll pick me up at 8:30 am so we can go to work together, I gazed at the large two story house that had always been home since I was a kid. It's far too large for a single man but I felt bad thinking of letting it go. Despite the dark, I walked in relying on muscle memory to guide me to the light switch that I've known where since I was five.

Now sitting in my bed after a shower, taking out my IPad to get rid of some emails that needed responses. Feeling restless and unable to concentrate, I went to my social media and smiled looking at a photo of the four of us uploaded by Wat in his instagram. Laughing at Khan's obnoxious comment and Thua's stern tell off. Then there's Namo, who had commented that next time he should also be invited, tagging me saying he was glad to finally see my face even in just a picture after five years. Briefly wondering if Akk had an account and if he was friends with any if them. Well, certainly not Thua, but maybe the rest of them.